Chapter Sixteen #2
Don't tear up, Penny. It's all in the past. But I hadn't expected the past to stare me in the face so quickly. I was stupid. Of course he'd been with someone else behind my back. And I’d thought this couldn't get any worse; I was wrong.
"Penny," Spencer said quietly.
I lowered my hands, looking up at him. My eyes felt remarkably clear.
"Um, you still want to buy anything?" the woman behind the counter asked me, obviously having overheard the whole conversation. Life could suck sometimes.
"My appetite’s gone, sorry," I told her.
"We'll buy a box of berries to take with us," Spencer said.
"No, you don't have to do that."
He lifted the corner of his mouth. "You've talked about them so much, and I want to taste them."
"Okay," I replied in a voice so low, I wasn't sure he heard me.
He took the bag with the berries. "What do you want to do now? Grab coffee?"
I shook my head. "Could we go home?"
"Sure. Let me buy two more things, then we’ll leave. I don't want to brag about my cooking skills, but I make a mean breakfast."
I smiled, but I wasn't really listening.
I was still replaying the last six months of my marriage.
I couldn't believe I’d even insisted on couples therapy.
Why would he lie to me and play along instead of just admitting he didn't want me anymore because he had someone else?
I was in a haze when Spencer took off the carrier, securing the baby in the car seat.
"Can I sit next to him?" I asked.
"You don't have to. I mean, he's asleep again."
"I know, but just in case he wakes up."
"Sure."
I wanted to sit in the back to keep an eye on this gorgeous little thing but also because I was ashamed. I didn't even know how to be in the same space as Spencer. What would he think about me? That I was a basket case?
I shot Taylor a quick message, telling her about my run-in. To my astonishment, she answered right away.
Taylor: I HATE him. We can throw eggs at his car any time once I’m back. Just say the word.
Penny: Honestly, I just want to forget he exists.
Taylor: My neighbor’s not taking care of that? I’ll have a word with him.
Penny: Your neighbor is GREAT
Taylor: Good. Then focus on him.
And that was exactly what I was going to do.
Ben woke up and drew me from my thoughts. His eyes were small and a bit watery. He looked at me with suspicion, but when I moved closer and put a hand on his chest, he gave me a small smile. My chest filled with immeasurable joy.
"You're so adorable. He's smiling," I announced.
Spencer laughed. "Yeah, he's been doing that lately."
I played with my fingers in the air, moving my forefinger from the window to my ear.
He glanced at my finger, laughing each time it touched my ear, like it was the best entertainment in the world.
I was so immersed in making the little guy laugh that I didn't even realize that we'd arrived at Spencer’s home until he’d turned off the engine.
"Oh, that was fast."
"No, it wasn't. We actually hit a bit of traffic. But you were too lost in keeping him busy."
"Yes, I was."
I liked how easy this banter between us was.
An image flashed in my mind. How would life be if this was truly my family?
We'd wake up on Saturday and lazily decide to go to the farmers’ market.
There wouldn't be a fight about it—there wouldn't be a fight about anything.
We'd just enjoy life together and our baby.
Oh, stop it, Penny. A fling, remember? It's a fling.
Spencer took the car seat inside the house, carrying the groceries too, showing off his amazing strength. I wanted to snap a picture, but instead, I just memorized this image. It filled my soul with happiness.
Once we stepped inside, Spencer went directly to the kitchen, moving Ben to a cot and putting the bags of groceries on the kitchen counter. I began to empty them to put things away when he grabbed both of my hands. I froze, looking up.
"Talk to me, Penny."
"About what?" I asked, trying to act confused, even though Wally had cut me deep, and I was becoming an emotional mess.
"You've practically disappeared into yourself since we ran into that moron."
"Maybe we can just pretend it didn’t happen. I'm really so sorry you had to encounter him." Oh lord, I did not want to discuss details because I didn’t think I’d make it through without bawling. Wally always made me feel useless. Stop that! Don’t let him get to you.
"Penny." He caressed my cheek.
I instantly felt safe, wanted, and I couldn't explain why.
"You don't have to apologize or be ashamed in any way."
"He made a scene, and you didn't have to witness that." I was embarrassed as hell.
"I don't care about that. I care about you. How are you? That was a stupid question. Clearly, you're feeling off. What can I do to change that?"
"You're not upset?" I asked. Spencer had handled Wally nicely. If there had been a fight, hands down Spencer would have taken him.
"No. Why would I be?"
"Because that whole scene put a damper on your morning."
"Listen to me, Penny. Stop worrying about me. I am worried about you. This is all about you. I want to make your day better. I just need to know what it will take to do that."
"Watching you amaze me with your breakfast-making skills is a great start," I said, smiling from ear to ear. My eyes were burning though, and I couldn’t hold the tears back.
"You're crying."
"No, no. These are tears of joy, okay?"
"What? What can possibly have brought you so much joy?"
I didn't know how to explain without sounding silly, but the fact that he wasn't making a big thing out of this, that he wasn't shaming me or putting me down, was surreal. Not just that, but he was worried about me. Spencer made me feel important, and I so needed that.
“Just trust me,” I murmured.
“Okay.”
Spencer started arranging ingredients around the pan.
"What are you making?"
"Eggs and bacon."
"Do you have everything you need?"
"Yep. I bought bacon at the market."
“I wasn’t paying attention.”
"Penny, do you want to talk about it? Sometimes it's good to get things off your chest."
"I’ll speak to Taylor about it."
He looked up from the pan. "Or you can tell me."
"You don't want to hear any of that."
"Oh fuck, are you going to contradict me on everything? I want to know." He got closer, cupping my face again. "I need to know."
"No, you don’t."
"If you don't like to share, that's fine, but don't stay silent just because you think you're going to make me uncomfortable."
"You're right. I’d like to speak to you about everything, but I’m just not used to… Never mind," I said while he stepped back behind the pan. I focused on those sexy hands moving around with proficiency.
"I guess… I’m stunned that he was with her during our marriage, and I never realized it until today. I was so intent on making things work and blaming myself for it that I didn't stop to think that maybe something else was going on. And our friends knew."
"I'm sorry you had to go through that."
"It's not easy, and I feel stupid for not realizing what was going on all along."
"Don't blame yourself. None of this is your fault."
He put bacon in the frying pan and grabbed a spatula. The smell of bacon filled the air. Ben giggled. I loved the sound of that. Pure happiness and joy.
"Then how come people stay married for decades, and I had to fight tooth and nail for my marriage and still lost it? Maybe I shouldn't have fought that hard, especially when I realized that…"
"What?" Spencer asked.
"I think I fell out of love with him a long time ago.
I just told myself it was a phase all couples go through.
That we'd gain back our spark.” I snapped my fingers, like I was having a lightbulb moment.
"Now that I've gotten that off my chest, I just want to forget it happened. I was doing a good job before he showed up at the farmers’ market today. "
"That's what you need?" Spencer asked.
I nodded. "Yes, 100 percent"
His face opened with a smile. "I'm at your command."
I burst out laughing. "Are you kidding me? You like to boss me around when we’re in bed."
"Yes," Spencer replied. He dropped his voice, glancing at the baby. Oh, was he cute or what? He was worried that a three-month-old would understand him.
"All right, then. I'm very good at making sure you don't think about anything else but me," Spencer said. I didn't even see when he changed the spatula to his other hand, freeing up the right one to somehow land directly on my ass. He gave my butt a good squeeze, pressing me against him.
I groaned as my clit collided with the zipper of his jeans. Holy shit. I couldn't believe that even that small friction was enough to send a shiver through me.
"Wow. That was fast," I replied. "I'm already on edge. Your plan to make me focus on you is to start by groping my ass?"
"Exactly. And by feeding you. You'll need energy. And I'm going to have to let you go. Otherwise, I'll just give you burnt bacon."
"I'm okay with that as long as you keep fondling me."
“Can’t do that and cook at the same time.” He dropped his hand, focusing on the pan. "I have eggs in the fridge. Do you want to get four out?"
"Sure." His fridge was full of food. I was so used to seeing mine empty that I'd forgotten this was how a normal refrigerator looked. I took out eggs and put them on the counter.
"Can you crack them into the pan?"
"Sure. We're good at this," I said. I was pretty sure that cooking breakfast together and lifting each other's mood weren't part of the list of activities for a fling, but right now, I was happier than I'd been in years, and I didn't want to look a gift horse in the mouth.