Chapter Eight #2
“Either of those two solutions sucks,” I told her openly. “So maybe we could come up with something else.”
“Like what?”
“No idea. Hence playing it by ear.” The more I thought about it, the more I found those options completely unacceptable. The thought of Allison going on a date with some guy was unthinkable. But being celibate was simply not possible. Slowly, I was starting to realize, there were no other options.
“I can feel you panicking,” Allison said, nudging me with her shoulder. She miscalculated the angle, though, because I definitely felt her breast brushing my chest. Her breath caught, and when she gasped lightly, her eyes snapped up.
Swallowing hard, I tilted my head, looking directly at her. She was so damn close, I could smell the coffee on her lips. Those perfect and inviting lips.
“We’ll work it out.” My voice was so rough, I almost didn’t understand what I was saying myself. “The important thing is that the kids stay with you.”
“Oh, what will we tell the kids?” she whispered.
Her chest was still rising up and down in labored breaths. Clearly the nearness was affecting her, and that just pumped my ego.
I was such a bastard. I was telling this woman that she could count on me, that I was willing to marry her so she could get custody of the twins, yet at the same time, I was fantasizing about making her mine and enjoyed the way my touch rattled her.
“This will confuse them,” Allison added.
“Yeah, there‘s no way around that. Us living together and telling people that we’re married, yet at the same time sort of living separate lives, is fucked up. As a kid who’s been in a fucked-up family situation, that doesn’t sit right by me.”
Her eyes softened. “They’d love having you at the house. They constantly ask when you’re coming over. I know having you as a dad, or at least a father figure, will be really easy for them to adjust to. Are you ready for that?”
“Fuck yes! I care about them a lot. And even after the divorce, I’d still be around—I’d make sure of it. I’ll spoil them to the moon and back,” I promised.
“That makes two of us. Before, spoiling them was my job, since I’m their aunt. But I can’t seem to get out of the habit.”
“So what? I think you can spoil kids and make sure they have a good head on their shoulders at the same time.”
“True.” Seemed like she needed more convincing.
“That’s what my grandparents always did. Granted, we were older when we actually met them, so it was a different situation, but they balanced that very well.”
There was a pause, and then Allison asked, “How do you think your grandparents would take this?” She moved a bit farther away from me—another sign that my nearness affected her.
“They’re usually very supportive, but they don’t condone deception.”
She scoffed. “What a good word to describe this.”
“I have no doubt that they’d be supportive, no matter their opinion. But lying to them would be hard.”
“It’s good that you can count on your family’s support.”
I blew out a heavy breath. “It wasn’t always like this.
For the longest time, there were two separate groups: my brothers and me and our half brothers.
Two of them preferred to pretend we didn’t exist, and I don’t blame them.
They were older when everything started.
They had a front-row seat to the whole thing and what it did to their mother. ”
“Oh,” Allison whispered. “Did she ever recover? Is she okay now?”
“Unfortunately, she got sick and passed away shortly after.”
She winced. “That’s terrible. Poor boys.”
“Exactly.”
“I’m almost afraid to ask… but how is your mom?”
I grinned. “She’s living her best life, actually. She’s traveling the world, doing odd jobs, mostly teaching yoga and Pilates. My brothers and I do take care of her financially, but she insists on having at least some income of her own.”
“You’re good sons.”
“We try to be. She deserves the world. Things were difficult for her even before things came to light. Actually, I think they might have been even more difficult before because she was struggling to keep up with all our expenses.”
“What do you mean? Your father wasn’t contributing?”
I shook my head. “Only minimally. He gave her a bullshit story about his father, our grandfather, controlling the finances of the company and him being on a very strict leash. So she worked two jobs.” Her own parents had cut off contact with her because they didn’t approve of her having children without being married.
“But your father is a Whitley.” The way she said our last name made me feel funny. There were pluses and minuses to the legacy for sure.
“Yeah,” I said through gritted teeth. “Unfortunately. Thankfully, he lives in Australia now. We don’t deal much with him.
You know, when you first mentioned that you’re willing to go to any lengths to get custody of the kids, I started thinking about my own parents.
The whole situation. How my father lost interest in all his sons after the scandal. How he just up and left.”
“Oh, Nick.”
I had no idea why I’d even brought this up. She didn’t need to know. It had been a long time ago.
“So, you grew up without him?” she asked.
“Yes. In retrospect, it was probably better. Things were tense with everyone even with him out of the picture. But as a kid, it felt terrible. Like we weren’t wanted, didn’t matter, and no one was in our corner.”
Her shoulders dropped. “That’s a really terrible thing to do to your kid.”
“We’ll make sure the twins never feel that way,” I said, deciding to stop bringing up negative stuff. What was up with that? I rarely spoke about the past. It just made no sense. It was part of the past, and it wasn’t affecting the present in any way.
Allison smiled from ear to ear. “This is batshit crazy. We can’t think through every scenario and foresee everything that can go wrong. But for the first time since I got their email about trying to get custody, I’m feeling hopeful. And I should tell them that we’re…”
“Engaged.” The word felt completely foreign. “You should definitely tell them.” I shifted on the couch so I could lean closer. I put a hand on the backrest, bringing my mouth almost to her ear. “I promise you, Allison, we’ve got this.”
“You’re awfully sure of yourself!” She was back to teasing me, which was a good sign. She’d been so tense in Hugo’s office that I wasn’t certain that she’d relax at all today.
I flashed her a quick grin. “Always. It’s the secret to my success.”
“What is?”
“Blindly believing in my ability to achieve something. It’s served me very well, and I’m sure we can apply the same strategy here.”
“Nick, this isn’t a business project.”
“Nah, it’s far more than that. But we’ve got this, Allison,” I repeated. “You and me. We’ve got this.”