Chapter 22
Twenty-Two
WHITE KNIGHT
Despite the lateness of the hour, my anger propelled me through the Duchess’s villa to hunt down the maniacal tyrant bane of my existence, except he wasn’t in any of the guest rooms.
I checked through the rear courtyard, past the gardens which had long since surrendered to wild abundance—lush and overgrown, heavy with the scent of damp earth and sweet blossoms.
Beyond the estate, the land dissolved into a tranquil lagoon threaded with narrow waterways, where ancient willow trees leaned low over dark, glassy water. Moss hung in silvery veils from every limb, swaying gently.
I skidded to a stop upon spotting the stately but darkened figure across the way.
What was the king doing all by himself in the garden in the middle of the night?
Clenching my jaw, I marched across the stone walkway, whilst tamping down the apprehension threatening to creep along my skin.
He was still the Wicked King of Wünder.
Steel-blue eyes lit up upon spotting me approaching, but his expression remained neutral.
“You’ve known all this time,” I accused as soon as I was a few feet away.
He didn’t even bother to deny it. A corner of his mouth turned up with his chuckle. “The spell broke, did it? Words do indeed hold great power. Leave it to you to figure out the exact conversation to unlock the Duchess’s memories.”
The arrogance, the self-assuredness in his tone, was pushing all my buttons.
He had known all about the anomalies and the ghosts right from the start. He had known about this. What else was he hiding? What the hell else had he been lying about?
Not that I expected the most ruthless king in the land to be honest with me, but I hated the fact that I had so easily believed everything he’d said.
When did I become this gullible?
I let out a frustrated groan, grabbing his arm. “Don’t be a stubborn jerk. Let’s go. It’s time to swap our hearts back.”
He pulled back. “No. I told her I’m not doing that.”
“Why?” I threw my hands up.
“Are you kidding me? Didn’t she spell out the risks for you? A stolen heart removed twice will likely kill its vessel.”
I rolled my eyes. “Aren’t you the most powerful sorcerer on all of Wünder? You’re afraid of a little risk to your life?”
His eyes widened in disbelief. “Is that what you think?”
Dropping my hands, I squeezed my eyes shut in frustration. “Oh my god, what am I supposed to think then?”
He winced, as if the response he had in his mind offended him. Looking away, he folded his arms across his chest.
I resisted the urge to heave another sigh. Perhaps I should have known better than to think the Wicked King was going to explain himself.
Or, wait…
Narrowing my eyes, I studied the carefully tempered aura he was struggling to maintain. My racing heart slowed at the stark realization. It was so simple, I’d missed it.
If I hadn’t been holding on to so much resentment, insisting on focusing on the evil in his nature—against my better judgment—I would have already figured out that he wasn’t the least bit afraid of risking his own life.
Did you really think I would let those bastards hurt you?
You stupid idiot. You almost got Allie killed!
I let out a breath. “You don’t want to risk my life…”
Only the stillness in the air answered me. A small flock of birds squawked as they flapped across the lagoon behind us. The moon’s reflection was full and round among the lilies floating in the still water. Crickets chirped in the humid air. Fireflies dotted the darkened plant beds.
When he spoke again, his tone was low, his gaze still averted.
“Last night, when you almost died, when I almost lost you—” He closed his eyes for a moment, as if freshly confronted by the very real notion.
“I can defeat anything, Allie. But last night, with that maelstrom, with that flood, I couldn’t protect you. It was my worst nightmare.”
Utterly baffled, I swallowed past the lump in my throat. “You said you never loved me. You said you didn’t want me.”
He rubbed his hand across his face. “Goddammit, Allie. Of course I want you.”
“You lied to me.”
“I had to!” He blew out a breath. “Hearts are very precious. Even on Wünder, where we can displace them from one host to another. The Duchess said there was only one way to safely remove a stolen heart. She said that in most cases, stolen hearts are superfluous to their wearer. They merely serve as a container for its magic. However, once a heart has embedded itself well enough to take over its wearer’s life, its soul… then removing it—well…”
I furrowed my eyebrows, trying to follow his reasoning.
“I had to make you let go, or removing my heart would have killed you.”
“Let go?”
“Of me.”
I jolted in my stance, mind completely blown.
“That’s why I…” He shifted on his feet.
“Wait a minute. Was this…” I blinked hard, recognition dawning on me.
I was torn between hope and despair. It was as though my heart was exploding into a thousand pieces and kept getting remade over and over again.
“This was why you left. You were trying to make me hate you. All this time.” I put a hand to my forehead.
“It was the only way to detach the mystical heart, without risking my life.”
He hung his head. “I’m so sorry. I couldn’t even do that properly.
Every day for eight moons has been hell, not being able to see your face, but I knew it had to be done.
When you came back to the castle, it was even worse.
I-I couldn’t stay away from you. I couldn’t stop—” He groaned.
“But it’s over now. I can’t do this anymore.
Whenever I’m around you, I’m…weak. And a man in my position cannot be weak. ”
My chest squeezed at the agony on his face. I took a step closer to peer at him. “You are not weak.”
He shook his head. “Those wretched maelstroms have me terrified most of all. I know you can’t stay on Wünder. I know this isn’t your world. What if we find the doorway that leads you home? Well, I…I—” He wrung his hands out, his jaw clenching. “I forbid it.”
I stifled a chuckle, my entire being overcome with a strange sort of relief, of release. “You forbid it?” Reaching up, I touched his cheek—tentatively at first, the truth weighing heavily on me, before taking his face in my hand more firmly. “I must go home. You already know that.”
He melted into my touch for the briefest of moments before determination shimmered in his blue eyes once again. “You’re still mine.”
Truer words couldn’t have been spoken. My chest filled with a longing ache. I’d been trying so hard to fight it, but there was no denying the truth. Even through all the months of hating him with the burning passion of a million suns, I never ever once stopped being his.
Lifting his hand, he tucked my hair behind my ear. A small smile broke on his face as his eyes caught on something, before a shadow flitted past his eyes.
“There’s something else you need to know.” The gravity in his tone shifted.
I almost caught my breath in my throat. More lies? My heart ached in full dread. How much more deception was I meant to endure? And despite that, I was willing to hear him out. Was I willing to forgive him anything? What did that make me?
His fingers brushed my emerald hairpin. “I wasn’t certain you would keep wearing this. It suits you well.”
And when those deep blue eyes met mine again, a peculiar sense of reassurance, of certainty washed over me.
No, not lies.
Truth…finally.
“When I discovered all these things, and I knew I had to leave you, I…” He dropped his gaze.
“Since our hearts were linked, I knew I couldn’t go on experiencing your feelings every day and rule the kingdom at the same time.
I knew I couldn’t bear it—feeling your helplessness, your despair, your heartbreak.
I didn’t want to feel the moment when you…
finally let me go.” His throat bobbed. “I didn’t want you to sense my hopelessness either, so…
I commissioned a blacksmith to craft these trinkets, a matching pair.
” He held up his hand where a gleaming jade ring was around his forefinger.
“And?”
“They are enchanted as a type of magical impediment. Mine hides my feelings from you. Yours from me.”
My eyebrows furrowed to process this information. “What, like emotional shields? Wait—” My jaw dropped. “Are you saying the link between our swapped hearts still works?”
“Yes.”
The gears in my mind working to sort it all out, I averted my gaze.
I vaguely recalled a momentary flash of pain many months ago.
It must have been caused by the abrupt cutoff of the flow of magic between us, except there was nowhere else for all that magic to go.
“This must be why I can feel everyone else. It’s a side effect. ”
Ruefully, he pursed his lips. “The mystical heart you wear is quite powerful. It was a difficult, rare spell. I struggled—” He shook his head again to cover his admission of weakness. “It seems I wasn’t able to suppress all of its magic.”
“I can feel everyone else’s feelings, except for yours.” I tilted my head in further thought. A fresh wave of realization came over me as I put some more pieces together. Stunned, I covered my mouth with my hand. “Except at night, when I take it off…”
Those deep blue eyes gleamed again. “Yes.”
“Those dreams…” I caught my breath, my heart starting to pound all over again.
His agreement was a low rumble. “Yes.”
“I dreamt of you, and you dreamt of me. Of us.” I wasn’t certain whether I should be appalled or relieved.
Those dreams were what held me together these past months.
They had been the only thing that had kept me going.
Even in my subconscious, the reassurance of his presence, even the illusion of his affection, was an unexpected comfort.
The crease on his forehead deepened, his lips curling. “So many days I wished to remain asleep, if only I could be with you in my dreams.”
“I haven’t had any since I left my clock tower,” I mused, before shrugging. “Then again, I suppose I haven’t been sleeping much.”