Magda
W hen I woke up, the day was gray and overcast. My body… oh, the sensations running through it! Even more magnificent, however, were the arms wrapped around me, holding me tight to a muscular chest. I nuzzled into Caleb, unabashedly luxuriating in his scent and the firm feeling of him. I’d never felt so safe in my life; so welcomed.
He came back for me.
There was an insistent buzzing coming from the nightstand beside me, and I tried to ignore it at first, but it began again, and then reality jumped at me like an icy bucket of water to the face.
“Oh shit,” I said, spinning around and trying to pull myself from Caleb’s surprisingly strong grasp. I scrambled for the bedside table, grabbed hold of my phone, and then my gut clenched.
The caller ID showed Father . I looked at the clock on the screen—8:23 a.m. I should have been over there nearly thirty minutes ago.
“Fuck, fuck, fuck.” I slipped out of Caleb’s arms, and he didn’t even move—he slept so deeply I wouldn’t have been surprised to find that he wouldn’t wake up for a tornado siren.
I stumbled over to the bathroom and closed the door carefully. The call ended; another began. I turned on the shower, then answered it.
“Hello?” I said, a bit breathlessly.
“lene,” said Father, “your mother and I are on our way to morning service. Will you be joining us? We waited as long as we could for you, but?—”
“I’m sorry, I overslept my alarm and lost track of time. I’m in the shower now?—”
“Then we will see you there at nine?” came Mother’s reedy voice.
I looked at the clock, then stared into the mirror. I studied my reflection in the mirror, touching the small, newly formed curved horns on either side of my head, examining my teeth—and the tiny scratches from where Dr. Lowe’s fangs had cut my breast. There was a curious purple light that shone in my eyes, but as I watched, waiting for the shower to warm up, the light, teeth, and horns all faded. And then, I was just again. Only, I wasn’t.
“Oh, uhm, yes,” I said.
No fucking way .
“I might be a bit late, but?—”
“We will discuss this later,” Father said. “The terms of your living arrangement?—”
“I know what they are,” I snapped, surprising myself.
There was stunned silence on the other end of the line, then Father cleared his throat.
“We will see you at church.”
He hung up without another word, and I sank to my knees against the door, grabbing my head in both hands. I had never—never—spoken to them like that. There would be hell to pay, I was certain. But even worse, because I knew the next time I went to see them, they’d do what they’d done when I’d come back —against my will—from university. I’d been taken to a facility at Acolyte Seminary where I’d been drug tested and forced to submit to several increasingly invasive procedures, both mental and physical—the last of which had been the doctors examining me to ensure I was still “intact.”
Mortified, I covered my mouth with my hand. I couldn’t—wouldn’t—go back. If they found out about this… about my tryst with this stranger, about the frankly alarming amounts of him still inside of me, about the fact that I was some kind of actual demon now…
They’d kill me. I had no doubt of that.
There was something different about me. Like I’d hit a puberty a second time. I caught sight of my reflection in the glass before it steamed up from shower’s heat. My breasts seemed fuller; the shape of my body, which before had always been a bit slimmer, seemed curvier, more… feminine. My lips were also fuller, and my eyes, if it was possible, were almost… larger?
I studied my body in the mirror, eyes going wide with shock. My butt was slightly bigger. My skin, which was normally a bit dry and prone to breakouts, seemed to be perfectly creamy and blemish free. Not to mention, my hair had gone from being limp to holding a gentle wave—something the strongest hairsprays had only ever managed to accomplish for short durations.
I got into the shower in a daze. If I didn’t go, they’d come looking for me. But if I did and they saw me like this, they might just make good on their threats.
There was no shampoo or body soap, so I just sat in the shower letting the water roll over my head as I rested it against my knees. When I’d been in long enough that my fingers pruned, I got out and wiped the mirror down with my hands, dripping water everywhere—there were no towels, so I stood there, shivering.
It hardly seemed possible that Dr. Lowe had been telling the truth about me being a demon . If the doctor had done this to me, could she undo it?
…Do I really want her to? Go back to being…
I thought about Danny’s face when he’d finally thought we would “seal the deal” as he’d referred to it. He’d been so excited that day… and then I’d had a panic attack, and he couldn’t look me in the face again.
I had no idea who Caleb really was, but my body called to his; even now, I wanted him to wake up and…
My cheeks flushed as desire pulsed through my abdomen, nearly forcing me to my knees as I thought about how good the second time had felt with him. In the end, when he’d…
Warmth spread through me, and in the bedroom just outside, I heard Caleb mutter something in his sleep—perhaps my name? I forced myself to calm down. I had to be reasonable about this. Rational. Dr. Lowe had done something to me, and I needed to know what. I had just wanted to be able to sleep with someone without having a full-blown panic attack, and now, I was practically a nympho. Even so much as picturing what had occurred with the stranger in the bed outside would make my knees weak with need.
There was also some kind of… connection with Caleb I didn’t fully understand. He’d known when I was afraid; I’d felt it when he was racing back through the streets to answer me after I’d woken up and discovered the strange new changes to my body. Even now, I had to be careful. Get too excited, and he would respond appropriately. I fought to keep my head level. I had a life I needed to get back to—friends. It might not have seemed like much, but I had to get back to my design job on Monday, and…
“Danny.” I stared into the mirror. What would he think of this new “Mags?” Would he want her because he wanted me ? Was there a difference between the me I’d been and the me I was now? I didn’t have answers. I was almost, well, afraid to face anyone in my old life—most of all my parents.
The horrible shame that flooded me every time I thought about them, about the things they’d taught me—the shame I’d internalized… It was all still there, but it was quieter now, despite the bizarre circumstances that led to me being everything they’d ever warned me about before.
A whore. Just like they’d told me my biblical namesake was.
I picked my cell phone up off the counter. There were about two dozen missed calls from Katie, four from my parents, and half a dozen more from Danny. There were also twenty some-odd missed texts from Katie all of them containing some form of Where the hell are you? You were supposed to call me last night when you got home! Some texts from Danny—still trying to figure out if I could just talk to him. I ignored his messages. I had no idea what to say to him still. I didn’t feel like trying to make him feel better about dumping me on my birthday at my birthday party, which I knew he would be looking for. Maybe he could sweat it out a little longer.
I checked the time. Nearly nine, and I couldn’t bring myself to so much as leave this bathroom. My parents would be anxiously checking their watches, and when I didn’t show… Well, there’d likely be an officer coming to my apartment for a wellness check at eleven when they got done. Katie would already be up, dealing with her café, but instead of calling her first, I tried calling the number for Intimates, Inc. There was only a brief, half-complete ring before the line clicked and went dead. Three calls, the same thing, and on the fourth, I got an error message telling me the number was disconnected. I sighed, frowning down at the phone, and then made a call to Katie.
“You had better have a really, and I mean really good explanation for dodging my calls all night,” said Katie, sounding hurt. “I was about to start calling hospitals!”
“I’m so sorry, Kitty Kate,” I whispered, really peppering on the please don’t kill me tone with the use of her childhood nickname. “Things… ah… came up after the meeting.”
Katie, no stranger to my attempts to be vague, sniffed out my bullshit like a bloodhound. “Oh my god. Mags, you’re whispering—are you—did you go home with someone last night?!”
The squeal she squealed was so loud I had to pull the phone away from my ear and hiss for her to settle down.
“Oh man, tell me everything—no, wait, it wasn’t my brother, was it? If so, tell me nothing.”
I could hear customers talking in the background; the sound of her espresso maker hissing away. I pressed a hand against my forehead. Yes, she really was trying to get the details of my first sexual experience in a crowded café.
“No, Katie, it wasn’t your brother.”
“Oh my god, then back to my first request—tell me everything!”
I made up a lie—I don’t know how I’d come up with one so quickly, but suddenly, there it was. Instead of being some stranger whose bed I’d woken up in and then practically jumped on his dick, Caleb and I had met in a local bar and had a few drinks. We went out to a late movie—hence why I hadn’t answered my phone immediately, and then wound up at his place… twice.
Katie was possibly more excited over me losing my virginity than I was, but I figured that was probably because she hadn’t seen the horns, fangs, glowing eyes, and whatnot. Still wasn’t sure how I was going to explain that particular update to her.
“I’m so happy for you, Mags, I mean it,” she said. “See how amazing my plan was? It worked! One session with that doctor and you had your panties around your ankles?—”
“Katie,” I bristled, “could you not say this in front of the entire café? Anyway, it… it wasn’t like that at all. I actually need to talk to you. There were certain… things that?—”
“Oh right! Yeah, I have to get back to the café now—customers are starting to huff. Come by later and tell me, tell me, tell me! I totally forgive you for not answering me, but if you ever go meet a guy again without at least giving me his name and address and letting me run a full background check on him to make sure he’s not a murderer, I’ll kill you myself.”
I hung up while she was still laughing, and stood shivering on the tile, waiting to drip dry rather than risk waking Caleb up. A soft knock sounded at the door.
“, you okay?”
“Don’t come in!” I said, covering my body out of panicky instinct. “There are no towels!”
“Oh, uh, one second,” said Caleb, voice muffled through the door. “Let me check.”
Several minutes passed before he knocked again and then stuck only his arm through to pass me both a white t-shirt and his button-up shirt that I had somewhat ripped apart.
“No towels here. Maybe use the t-shirt to towel, and then wear the button-up like a robe?”
“You don’t have any towels?” I asked, taking the items he’d extended.
“This isn’t my place. There’s really nothing here at all. I mean, I can get you the bed sheet if you want…?”
“No, that’s okay,” I said, hurriedly doing just as he’d suggested to get the cooling water off me as quickly as possible. “Whose place is this then? It looks like a rental.”
“Yeah, about that, listen, we should definitely try to have a chat whenever you’re ready.”
I wrapped the sodden t-shirt around my hair to help dry it, and then pulled the button up over me. It was large enough that it covered to about midthigh, but the top, where I’d torn off the buttons, was somewhat open. Still, it worked. I opened the door, and there stood Caleb, looking for all the world like he regretted giving me anything to cover myself with.
“It’s not going to be a fun talk, is it?” I asked with a sigh.
He ran a sheepish hand along his hair, and I had to stop myself from leaning in and grabbing hold of him. He somehow looked even better than I recalled. “I uh… I don’t know, actually, but there is some stuff we need to discuss…”
I nodded.
“Mind if I take a quick shower first?” he asked. “There’s not much to eat here, but feel free to rummage in the bag by the door if you’re hungry. I think there’s some granola and chips, maybe.”
“I’m not,” I said, with some surprise. It occurred to me then that the last thing I’d eaten was my birthday cake on Friday night. I’d been too hungover to really have anything except a cup of coffee for breakfast on Saturday.
“Ah, sure,” Caleb nodded. “Let me get cleaned up, and then we can talk, okay?”
We passed each other, and almost as if we were both unable to stop it, he bent over and kissed me on the forehead and I wrapped him in a tight hug.
“I’ll be right out.”
I stood there as the door closed behind me, staring at the condo, wondering, not for the first time, what the hell I had gotten myself caught up in. I went and looked into the bag he’d mentioned, and although there was food, none of it seemed appetizing. I considered drinking some water, but felt perfectly sated, oddly enough, so instead I went and sat on the bed and tried to dry my hair with the t-shirt. I realized belatedly I had left my cell in the bathroom, and hoped my parents weren’t calling, but if I knew them—and I did, unfortunately—they would be at church, singing and praising their lord while plotting how they would destroy their daughter’s life. I was so lost in thought that the knock at the front door didn’t phase me at first.
Then, as the person knocked again, panic invaded my senses. Had they found me somehow? Had I been right that this was some kind of trick? Caleb yanked the bathroom door open, gesturing with a finger to his lips for me to remain quiet. He was wearing a thin t-shirt and his regular slacks, but water clung to the fabric around the hard planes of his abs. If it was them… if I asked him to, would he protect me? Would it be too much to put on a stranger?
You’re not really so strange to each other now, are you?
He stalked silently toward the door, leaning toward it, listening. There was no peephole for him to look out of.
As he got close, a woman’s voice, mildly irritated called out, “It’s me. I know you’re in there. Open up.”
Caleb looked over at me. I mouthed back at him, Dr. Lowe?
He nodded, but the look in his eyes was dark.
With a quick flick of the inner latch, Caleb pulled the door open. Dr. Lowe stood in the hall, looking worse for the wear, her blouse dirtied, her face wan. She looked… distinctly weaker than the last time we had met.
“Aren’t you going to invite me into your…” She leaned over and peered past him to spy me in the room. “…little love nest?”
“You aren’t a vampire, you don’t need an invitation,” he groused, stepping back and gesturing her in.
“How chivalrous,” she murmured as she passed by Caleb, but the tired look in her eyes weakened the snarky effect.
“You,” I snapped at her, once my senses had recovered. “What did you do to me? I just wanted to be able to be a normal person, not this, this…”
I glanced over at Caleb, which made my do a double flip as I felt his desire answering mine.
“I can’t stop thinking about—well, things ,” I said, forcing my attention back to the doctor, then shifting my gaze to the floor. “It’s maddening.”
“Normal? My darling, you were never meant to be normal! Your parents may have tormented you into summating all sexual congress into something horrifying, but the need for it, for that energetic connection, has always been inside you. You were already a succubus. Now look at you! So lovely.” Dr. Lowe’s voice was filled with true satisfaction at this assessment.
“Enough,” Caleb barked as he closed and relatched the door. “You owe us some explanations. You orchestrated this whole thing—” Lowe turned on him with a glare that would have withered weaker men, but he only looked enraged.
I crossed my arms. Here was the woman who had turned my life—Caleb’s life, too—upside down. I might literally never be able to go home again.
“I need sustenance,” snapped Lowe to Caleb. “You’ll have to suffice. Come here, please.”
I could feel the pull of her power, spreading over him like a perfume, and I could see the faint reddish haze of her it pushing against him, but Caleb shook his head, dispelling the cloud.
“No dice, doc. Equal exchange. You want energy, we want answers. You first.”
Dr. Lowe blinked at him stupidly, like she couldn’t believe what she was seeing. She looked between the two of us, and then pointed an accusing finger.
“How many times have you had sex with him?” she demanded of me.
“What?” My face flushed. “That’s none of your business!”
“You don’t understand,” said Dr. Lowe, “there are things I didn’t get a chance to explain, and as you are awakening, I need to know. How many times?”
I felt heat enter my face; fury. How many people constantly needed to know my sex life?
“Twice,” Caleb supplied, with a quick look over at me. “We slept together twice.”
“Damn it,” said Lowe, rubbing her forehead. “I figured the once was inevitable, but I thought I’d be here sooner”—she looked to me with a faded smile—“I suppose it’s to be expected.”
“What the hell do you mean?” I demanded. “You ‘figured’ us sleeping together was inevitable? I didn’t even know him, and then I wake up here, and—just who are you?!”
My hands shook as I waited for her to speak; I paced like a caged tiger, afraid I was going to or throttle her if she didn’t answer.
“Did my parents set this up?” I spat. “Did Katie ? Is this all some elaborate trap—or better yet, a joke?! I know he works for the university—” I pointed my finger at Caleb. “Did he pay you or something? Do you drug girls and sell them to perverts or?—”
“, I would never ,” Caleb said, taking a step toward me, touching his hand to his heart as if making a vow. “I would never do that. Not to anyone—but certainly not to you.”
His hurt came through our connection to me, and I immediately stilled, breaking into tears. I sat down on the end of the bed. “I know,” I sobbed. “I’m sorry.”
Caleb approached and sat beside me, hugging me to him. I collapsed into his arms.
Dr. Lowe sat in the chair opposite us, looking weak and tired. She propped herself up on one arm and leaned her head against her fist.
“Listen… to the both of you… I’m sorry.”
“You better start explaining yourself,” Caleb said softly. “Why did you use us?”
At that, the doctor winced, but then nodded. “Yes. I’m afraid I have used you, haven’t I? You and many others like you—but this one took an unexpected turn of events.”
“What did you do to me—to us?” I demanded, dabbing at my eyes with the sleeves of Caleb’s shirt. “Why did you?—”
“Listen, I promise I have no issue answering questions for you. I intended to find you much sooner, but the organization was well prepared this time, and I… find myself in need of a bit of a restorative.” She gestured between us with her other arm. “Seeing as you’re both flushed to the gills with sexual energy, I think one of you can spare a little.” The doctor’s eyes flashed over to Caleb, then she looked back at me. “Let me borrow some of his, hmm?”
I tightened my grip on Caleb’s knee reflexively; possessively. I was shocked at the fierce territorial beast that rose within me, and I leaned toward her, almost as if challenging—as if daring her to try. I blinked several times and tried to get a hold of myself.
“What do you mean?” I asked. “What kind of ‘sexual energy’ are you talking about?”
“ dear, I’m not going to fuck him. I’ll just take a bit of it from him in a kiss.” She looked to me with a knowing smile. “No need to get so protective. If I promise to give him right back, will it help?”
I noticed Caleb’s jaw, set into a grim line. Whether or not I minded, he certainly would. I did mind, however, which made me feel worse. I didn’t know this man—I’d slept with him a couple times, sure, but who was he to me? Who was I to him ? I didn’t have the right to act so jealous, and the sane part of me seemed to know that, while the louder part of my brain suggested that I should hurt her if she tried to so much as put a finger on him.
What the hell is going on with me?
I forced myself to let go of his knee and sit up, wiping away the last of my tears. “It’s up to him, not me. He’s the one who needs to give you permission,” I told her.
The doctor looked at me oddly. “Darling, I assure you both I meant no insult…” She grinned then, something like relief. “It’s somewhat of a… formality… to make sure you don’t encroach on anyone another succubus has claimed by asking them if it’s all right… I just didn’t want you to think—but then again, how would you know? I really haven’t had the chance to explain anything to you yet.”
“No, you haven’t,” muttered Caleb darkly.
“Wait—claimed?” I asked. “What do you mean?”
“It’s perfectly natural, ,” she said as she stood. “I can sense your aura on him—his on you as well. It’s something you’ll develop over time, but for now…”
Caleb and I exchanged quick glances and then looked away, and Dr. Lowe cleared her throat. “Please, Knight. If you don’t mind…?”
Caleb glanced over at me and then stood. “On the condition that you tell us what’s going on—and what exactly you did to us.”
Dr. Lowe’s shoulders slumped. “I will do my best to explain, but parts will be confusing.”
Caleb strode over to the doctor and ran his hand up her arm. She shivered from the touch, and then he slipped a hand behind her neck and the other around her waist, pulling her toward him in an embrace as their lips met. I thought at first it would feel too awkward to watch, but I couldn’t look away.
Dr. Lowe, almost as if surprised, melted in his embrace. I felt my thighs clenching together, my gut twisting as I watched them kiss. I had been so focused on their mouths and the way he held her to his body so carefully that it took me a long moment to notice that Caleb was watching me while he kissed the doctor. She’d almost gone limp in his arms. I squirmed with need, squeezing my hands tightly against my knees.
I almost couldn’t breathe; watching him kiss her turned my insides to absolute liquid. I gasped, taking tiny sips of air in short, panting breaths. I felt his arousal. I felt his want; I felt his need for me. A faint blue glow began in his eyes; my pulse quickened. He growled, holding Dr. Lowe closer to him. I found myself tugging at the collar of his dress shirt around my neck, my nipples hardening, hips rocking in answer to his desire. I was certain that even though he wasn’t touching me… it was still somehow me he was kissing; caressing. I needed him—might go absolutely mad in that moment if I couldn’t have him.
Without warning, Caleb straightened, set the doctor back upright on her feet, and crossed the room to me. I welcomed him with my entire body as he hugged me close, pressing his mouth to mine and kissing me so deeply it stole away what little breath I had.
“Caleb,” I murmured as he nipped at my neck, his teeth sharper than before. “Yes, Caleb?—”
One moment, I was being smothered in kisses, and the next, he’d been pulled from my arms. I sat up and opened my eyes, reeling in the sudden emptiness. Dr. Lowe had Caleb’s forearm held in hers, her eyes growing a deep red; his a bright blue. He was baring his teeth at her in a feral snarl. It appeared she was shaking with the effort of keeping his clawed hand off her throat.
“Gonna… need you both to…” the doctor winced as his hand tightened around her neck, “calm down a second, okay?”
“Caleb…?” I asked, feeling dizzy with want, with confusion. “What just happened?”
Caleb’s grimace relaxed; he stumbled backward, releasing her throat as he landed in the chair behind him. He looked like he might fall asleep at any moment, and panted hard as he slumped over—not asleep, but certainly not altogether aware.
“What did you do to him?” I demanded.
The doctor held up a finger toward me, trying to regain her breath. It only occurred to me in that moment that he’d been choking her, and then I snapped to attention.
“Oh my god, are you okay? I don’t understand?—”
“It’s… it’s okay.” Dr. Lowe waved me back to my seat. “I think it’s best if you just keep your distance from each other for a moment, yes?”
I sat back on the bed, picking at my nails. Caleb stirred, managing to sit up a bit more in his seat. I felt myself breathing a sigh of relief that he seemed to be recovering.
“I’m sorry…” he began. “I don’t know what happened.”
“It’s my fault,” said the doctor. “Apologies. I had to siphon your energy a bit. I tried to separate you so we could talk, but it’s a bit like sticking your hand into the cage when the snakes haven’t been fed in a long time.”
Caleb rubbed his forehead. “Wait… what… just happened, precisely?”
“Don’t worry—you’re extremely well fed. You’ll recover in a few moments. For now, I need cooler heads to prevail, so can we all take a breath?”
Caleb and I looked at each other.
“, what you’re experiencing right now is a bit of a… side effect of the transformation. Your real self is waking up—think of it like… demonic puberty. You’re going to be a bit sex crazed for a while, extremely sleepy, irritable… but the good news is that it doesn’t last forever.”
“This is what I’ve been trying to tell you about! He and I can’t be alone?—”
“Or even not alone,” Caleb interjected.
“—for five minutes without needing to…” I shook my head. “I’ve never felt like this in my life. Please, you have to do something . I feel like I’m going crazy—this can’t even be real. Can it? Dr. Lowe, I didn’t want to be a demon… I just wanted to be intimate without…”
The doctor stared at me, her gaze contemplative, but Caleb sat up in his chair, looking much more himself. He glared at her. “Her name is Carmilla de Mornay, not Dr. Lowe. She’s apparently been on my former employer’s ‘most wanted’ list for a while. She goes around ruining people’s lives for fun, and you and I got caught up in it this time around. She was targeting you, and they were targeting her… using me.”
The doctor’s mouth tightened; her gaze darkened. “What I do… is not for fun. Nor is it, as you say, ‘ruining people’s lives.’ You two have no idea what that organization has done?—”
“She matches people like us,” he continued, standing up, “in the hopes that we turn each other into demons, since only an incubi can create new succubi—isn’t that right?”