Magda
C aleb came staggering into the kitchen in a daze, bumping Carmilla out of the way. As soon as he spotted me, he moved to my side without a word and began kissing my cheeks, running his lips along the trail of tears I hadn’t even realized was still leaking from my eyes.
“What’s wrong?” he asked, voice thick with sleep as he wrapped me into his embrace, arms tightening around my shoulders. “Are you okay?”
“Yes,” I told him, unsure if there was anything else to say. “I’m sorry I woke you up.”
Over his shoulder, I saw Carmilla staring at us.
“Caleb,” she began, “how long have you been awake?”
“Hmm?” he mumbled, resting his chin on my head. “I don’t know. I just… ” Gentle snores interrupted him mid-sentence.
The doctor walked over and looked at him in disbelief. “He’s asleep.”
Given that he was standing, gripping me tightly, I found that hard to believe. “Caleb,” I tried. I shook his arm, but he continued to breathe in deep, even tones.
“He should not have been able to get up,” Carmilla said, poking him. “I’ve been exerting my aura over him. He ought to have been sleeping like the dead.”
Carmilla lifted Caleb’s arms off me, and I had to fight my own urge to snap at her to get away; the sense was strong enough that I turned away as she led him, like a sleepwalker, back to the couch, so I wouldn’t have to see her touching him.
This is so wrong. He has no idea we’ve just fallen prey to this plot. I have no right to feel so possessive over a man I’ve just met .
Yet, I couldn’t help that I did. Carmilla wasn’t touching him sexually in the slightest—wasn’t even feeding from him. I walked into the living room, standing some distance away, trying to arrest the bizarre territorial instinct rising in me that demanded I beat the shit out of her for laying a finger on my man.
No! He’s not yours. You can’t do this to him. You can’t just force him to accept you for the rest of his life when he doesn’t even know what’s going on. And besides…
“Caleb,” Carmilla whispered, once she resettled him onto the sofa, “how did you know was upset?”
He mumbled something unintelligible at first, and I felt the doctor’s power—her aura—slacken in the room. His eyes opened a bit, but he still appeared dazed, as if he was trying to wake out of a coma. She repeated herself.
“I… I don’t know. I just… felt it.”
Carmilla glanced back at me. “I was suppressing your aura too,” she told me. “So that it wouldn’t disturb him if you got upset. I didn’t even know you were so upset. You appeared to be calming down.”
“She wasn’t,” Caleb said softly. “She was panicking. I could feel it. I—” He looked around at the apartment, struggling to stay upright, blinking in confusion. “…Where are we?”
I walked over and sat on the coffee table where Carmilla had been sitting just a few minutes before and took his hand. “We’re at my friend’s house for now. We’re safe.”
Caleb’s gaze moved from my eyes, which were still tear filled, to my mouth. “Let me fix it,” he murmured.
“Fix what?” I asked.
He leaned forward and kissed me. “Whatever’s making you upset.”
I kissed him back harder than I’d intended; tasted blood as my teeth caught his lip and he groaned against me.
“,” said Carmilla, her voice soft. “Remember what we discussed?”
With considerable effort, I pulled back and pressed a hand against his chest, pulling some of his energy into me. I didn’t know how I knew what to do, but it was instinctive and natural; I followed the sensation.
“I’m okay. Are you?” I asked.
His gaze grew heavier again, lids sliding down. “Yes,” he whispered. “If you’re safe.”
“I’m safe. There’s nothing to worry about.”
“No,” said Caleb, his words slurring as if he were drunk. “The organization… they’ll come looking. I have to lead them away from you…” He tried to stand, but I pulled more energy from him, and he remained upright but wobbled, then leaned into my touch and covered my hand with his own.
“Caleb, Carmilla will help. She’ll take you away after you’ve rested for a while?—”
“No,” he said, trying to force himself back to alertness and failing. “I have to go. I’m going back to blow the whole place up if I have to.”
“You’ll be killed or captured,” Carmilla said, crossing her arms. She looked to me. “Make him forget.”
“Forget?” I asked.
“What he’s trying to do. I can’t have him charging his way in. He’s mid-transition into a full incubus—it’s slow, but it’s going to affect him more than he realizes. If he tries to go in there right now, he’ll get us all killed. I have a plan—it’s not quite ready yet, but please… just trust me.”
I turned back to Caleb, focused my attention on where my hand touched his, then felt my power flowing over him. “You forgot what we were talking about. You realize how tired you are; you want to sleep a bit longer.”
“I’m… sorry.” Caleb sank onto his own lap like a collapsed doll. “I don’t know why, I’m just… so tired. What… what were we talking about?”
“Nothing—just that we’re safe for now. You can sleep a little longer, and we’ll talk later, okay?” I said.
Caleb nodded. “Good,” he murmured, then slumped back to the couch, out cold.
I grabbed one of Katie’s throws and covered him with it before turning back to Carmilla.
“He shouldn’t have been able to sense your emotions,” she reiterated. “, he’s close to fully awakening. Once that happens, if you remain together, separating later is going to be next to impossible. You’re both already so entangled with each other… If you don’t think this is what you want, then it’s for the best that you both go your own ways now, before things go much farther. I can’t have him storming off to play the hero. I’ve got…” She paused, staring at him. “I’ve got things I need to take care of, and neither of you are ready to deal with this just yet. There are places I can take you both. Places with other cambions who can help you and teach you.”
I certainly agreed with her on the whole “not ready” part. I just wanted to lay down and go to sleep, myself. I was so exhausted I hadn’t even gotten a cup of coffee after cleaning up the mug I’d broken. I tucked the blanket up around Caleb’s shoulders; touched his cheek tenderly. There was no reason for us to feel this way… The face that we did had been someone else’s decision. Someone else’s engineering.
My entire life had been crafted by someone else. His too, by the sound of it. Carmilla said he’d been “made for me.” What did that even mean? And why did Carmilla find the idea of us bonding so worrisome if that was the case? I didn’t even know what being a demon meant. I didn’t know what my life would look like from here on in.
“Arranged marriage,” I whispered. “Someone wanted us to meet. To have sex. To turn into demons. Together.”
My heart thumped painfully in my chest at the thought.
“Yes.” Carmilla placed a hand on my shoulder.
“Caleb thinks it’s because they made him such a good killer. Are they planning on doing that to me? Will those bastards use me to hurt other people?”
“It’s… not out of the question,” Carmilla agreed. “There are countless ways they could use the two of you; try not to dwell on it. For now, it’s best that you both get somewhere safe—far out of the organization’s reach—so we don’t have to plan for contingencies.”
“There’s something you’re not telling me, isn’t there?” I asked. “About what happens if Caleb and I bond. What is it you’re not saying?”
Carmilla shook her head. “I don’t want to worry you. As I keep saying, I could be wrong.”
“But you don’t think you are.” I met her gaze.
The doctor looked away; withdrew her hand from my shoulder. “I’m… not sure. Please don’t ask me to go into detail or demand that I explain just yet. I just get the feeling that if the organization planned for the two of you to get together, then any deep connections between you should probably be avoided —at least until we have more of an idea what they might be planning.”
“I spent my entire life being forced into purity checks, having countless strangers prod my insides so that my parents could reassure themselves that I wasn’t having sex.” I forced my anger down. I didn’t want to wake Caleb up again. “Was that part of this plan? Were they part of this plan? Did they know that someday, I’d be chosen for this like some ripe fruit ready for the harvesting?”
“I don’t know, . Truthfully, I hadn’t considered Benedict capable of such cunning. There are too many questions, and too few answers to be certain.”
“Okay,” I said after a long pause. “Then Caleb and I should go our separate ways as soon as possible.” I was surprised to discover how painful those words were.
“Then I’ll take one of you tonight, and the other in the morning after I’ve rested,” Carmilla said.
I looked down at Caleb, watching the rise and fall of his chest, angry at myself for still wanting to selfishly keep him—for having thought, for even a second, that someone so incredible could have just been mine . I refused to continue letting other people control my life and make choices for me.
Even if it meant never seeing him again.
“I should probably take him first—he’s a bit volatile at the moment, and it will give you some time to say your farewells to your friend, yes? You’ll probably want to tell her a lie about why you’re leaving—but make it vague. Something she won’t find unbelievable.”
The thought stopped me cold.
The world seemed so normal; just spending time at Katie’s as I always did… but my life as I’d known it was over. I had no idea who I was if I wasn’t all the things other people always told me I’d have to be, and as exhilarating as I thought escape might have felt, now that I was presented with the possibility of life on lam, the idea filled me with more dread than I’d anticipated.
“I can’t ever come back after this, can I?” I whispered. “This is… this is it. My last goodbye… to everyone.”
Carmilla nodded. “Trust me when I say this is more than many of us get—but you really must go. Your parents… the organization… anyone of them could be hunting you. This place is unlisted, but your parents know about it, so it’s only a matter of time before they come looking here, and they’ll find not one but three demons.”
“I know,” I said, without meeting her gaze, “you’re right. I just… it just sucks.”
I was glad to have the time to say goodbye to Katie, but even if I knew I didn’t have the right to feel like I did, the thought of Caleb being taken from me was enough to make me want to rip something apart with my teeth. The thought of never seeing him or Katie again suddenly seemed like an abyss I couldn’t stop staring into.
“What about my parents?” I muttered. “Should I write a letter to them, or just… disappear like I never existed?”
“I’d recommend against contacting them.”
“I suppose that’s for the best. Even though they were horrible to me, I mean they’re still my parents?—”
“, dear,” Carmilla cut in, “the university they worked for is the headquarters for a demon-hunting organization, and the church that runs it is a sub-sect of Catholicism created in the mid-fourteenth century. It’s been disavowed by the official Church for ages, but trust me when I say they’ve been experimenting with our kind for centuries. Is it possible, that perhaps… your parents aren’t actually… your parents, and that they were instead… your keepers?”
I tried to answer, but my mouth was dry. Not because of fear, but the opposite. Because the thought of them not being my real parents was something I’d dreamed of my whole life. When I failed to answer, she continued.
“It’s just that… Clearly, someone had to know what you were to arrange all of this.”
“I used to pray,” I said, “every night… They made me get on a kneeling bench and pray for an hour before bed, and I used to ask God to save me. I used to ask if…” I paused here, my throat catching. I forced the emotions down, aware of my influence over Caleb now, and feeling guilty as hell for it. “If my ‘real’ parents would come and save me.”
Carmilla sat on the other side of the couch, her shoulders sagging.
“You’ve had such a hard life,” she whispered. “I’m so sorry they did this to you. But remember: You never have to deal with them again. In fact, I recommend you get as far away from them—this place, this town—as quickly as possible. If you want to come with me, we can all go now. I’ll drop Caleb off before I take you to another safe house?—”
“No,” I said quickly. “I think I just need to be alone for a bit if you don’t mind. I’m… I’m going to take an actual shower, and then I’m coming for the plate of bear claws in the kitchen”—I froze and sent a panic-stricken look over at Carmilla—“I can still eat food, right? I mean, even though I need… sex… for energy?”
Carmilla smiled. “Yes. We don’t need actual food, but succubi are nothing if not pleasure seekers of every sense. I’ll have them warmed up for after you get out.”
I sighed, feeling a true sense of relief flooding me. I’d have been angrier to find out I wouldn’t ever eat baked goods again than to discover I was a demon. You can’t have a best friend who’s a baker without being able to eat some pastries once in a while.
“You’re an angel,” I said.
Carmilla sent a wink a devious smile in my direction. “Not even close, baby girl.”