Chapter Twenty-Eight
Amelia stopped and silently cursed a blue streak that would have made a sailor blush as the wooden stair under her foot creaked. In the darkness of the middle of the night, it was as loud as a cannon firing. She held her breath, waiting to see if anyone had woken up.
When only silence responded, she continued her stocking-footed creeping down the stairs.
In one hand, she carried a small canvas rucksack; in the other, her boots.
She wasn’t looking forward to contorting herself to get them on after her corset, as she was already fully dressed, but silence was of the greatest importance.
On ghost-like feet, she padded through the house once she was downstairs.
She made her way to the kitchen, where she paused long enough to stuff a few provisions into her bag: some dried apples, a chunk of cheese, and some bread.
It wasn’t a feast by any means, but she was used to surviving on far less.
Besides, she didn’t want to deprive the children of any food.
She had to move her little gun aside as she was packing her bag.
Thinking better of it, she slipped it into the deep pocket of her walking skirt so that it was within easy reach.
She also stopped in her sewing room and added some good-quality cotton muslin, which could be easily torn into strips for bandages.
With her preparations nearly complete, she hesitated for a moment in the front sitting room.
The house was still silent, but she could almost hear the children laughing, Cody’s deep, booming voice as he hollered for them.
If she closed her eyes, she could see them there, gathered around the fireplace, reading, sewing, playing with little soldiers.
They were fine before you arrived, she told herself, and they’ll be fine after you’re gone, too. They’re survivors.
Still, she couldn’t bring herself to get moving, to actually slip out the door and into the night.
She knew, objectively, that it was the right thing to do—she was only putting everyone in danger by staying, not just the children, but Cody and Arthur too.
She didn’t want any of them getting hurt on her account.
She reached up absently to touch her face on account of a strange tickling sensation on her cheeks, only to find that her fingers came away wet.
She didn’t know when precisely, but she had started crying silently.
This wasn’t merely a little eye-watering, either; big, fat tears rolled down her cheeks, plopping onto the front of her blouse.
“Get a grip,” she whispered angrily to herself. Clenching her hands into fists, she stalked toward the door, determined to get out before her resolve wavered again.
“Don’t go,” a deep voice said from the dark recesses of the sitting room.
Startled, Amelia nearly leaped out of her skin. Her hand plunged to her pocket automatically, and she fished her gun back out.
“Easy,” Cody said, materializing from the shadows, his hands raised. “It’s only me.”
“Cody!” Amelia breathed. “What are you doing down here?” she demanded angrily. “Do you have any idea what time it is? I nearly shot you!”
Cody absorbed all of this without comment. He simply stared at Amelia with a baleful expression. Amelia lifted her chin, refusing to acknowledge the hypocrisy of her statements. She replaced the gun in her pocket.
Cody’s eyes flicked down to her bag. She shifted slightly, trying to put it out of sight. It was a defensive motion, like a child who’s gotten caught with sweets in their fist.
“What have you got there?” Cody asked lightly.
“You can’t stop me,” Amelia replied stubbornly.
This provocation made Cody raise his eyebrows, a motion she could see in the shafts of moonlight streaming in through the windows. “What, exactly, are you doing?” he inquired.
“I’m going,” Amelia announced. Some of the finality of her decision was lost when her voice wobbled as she said it.
“You’re leaving?” Cody said, and Amelia could hear the hurt in his voice.
“No! I’m not leaving you,” Amelia clarified. “I’m going to resolve this, one way or another. I can’t… I can’t have any of you getting hurt on my behalf.”
Cody inclined his head as he listened to her speak. His face was inscrutable, and not just because of the darkness. Slowly, he shifted forward, resting a rifle that Amelia hadn’t realized that he was holding against the back of one of the upholstered chairs.
“I know you don’t want to think that you’re putting any of us in danger,” Cody said, picking each word carefully.
“The thing of it is…” He paused, and Amelia could see him turn his eyes skyward as he searched for the right thing to say.
“It’s like this: Would you hesitate to protect Ruby or Logan from a bad actor? ”
Amelia shook her head vehemently.
“Or me?” Cody asked a little quieter.
Amelia stared at him, fairly certain that he was asking more than what had come out of his mouth. She shook her head again.
“Well, then you have to accept that we feel the same about you,” Cody explained. “That’s what it is to be in a family, isn’t it? To… to care for one another, to keep each other safe.”
Amelia stared at him again. She knew that what he said made a degree of sense, but she couldn’t bring herself to admit that she needed help, let alone protection. She’d been on her own for a long time, and she was always the one doing the protecting.
There was also a healthy dose of guilt in there as well.
While she’d taken pride in her protection and care of Kate, the simple fact of the matter was that Kate wouldn’t have been in that situation to begin with if Amelia hadn’t gotten involved with Dean in the first place.
She shouldn’t have been dragging her all over the West; Kate should’ve been laid up somewhere comfortable if she was ever going to have a chance at living.
And now you’re going to do it again, a cruel part of her mind hissed at her. You’re dragging in more helpless people to clean up your mess.
Fresh tears sprang to her eyes, and she squeezed her eyes shut against them. She shook her head emphatically. “No,” she stated. “I’m not going to get anyone else hurt because of my foolish choices.”
“Then what?” Cody demanded, his voice colored with anger. “You’re just going to give up and go to him? To be married?”
“What? No,” Amelia said, taken aback. “I’m going to put an end to this.”
Cody looked slightly alarmed. “Are you saying you’re going to go and shoot him?”
“Cody!” Amelia said, putting a hand to her chest. “Of course not! I mean… not without provocation. That is, I mean, I think I could if I had to, but no! What do you think I am?”
“Then what is the grand plan?” Cody demanded, folding his arms over his chest.
“Well, I know that he’s got piles of money, and it has to be coming from somewhere. I’m pretty sure he’s in with the railroad, or one of those big concerns back east buying up all the cattle,” Amelia explained.
“So?”
“So, don’t you think they’d be awfully put out to know that he’s using up their money not to purchase ranches, but to chase me all over Creation?
Don’t you think that’d make them good and mad?
” Amelia watched Cody for his reaction, and to his credit, his face was thoughtful—he didn’t dismiss her words out of hand.
“That’s a good point,” he allowed. “But I still think you’re taking an unnecessary risk doing this on your own.”
“Do you have a better idea?” Amelia asked plainly.
“Maybe,” Cody said, rubbing his chin. Amelia could hear the stubble under his fingers rasping. “But the point is this: We’re better together. If we try to come at this separately, we likely won’t succeed. More heads are better.”
Amelia could feel herself wavering. She glanced at the door, which was only a few steps away. She didn’t think that Cody would physically stop her; it wasn’t too late to just slip out into the night.
Cody took another step closer while she was distracted. Before she could react, he’d gently taken her hand in his, rough but tender. “Stay,” he said softly, so softly that Amelia wasn’t sure at first that he’d spoken. “I can’t bear to lose anyone else. I can’t… bear to lose you.”
Amelia’s breath caught. She looked up at him and saw that his dark eyes were shining, reflecting points of moonlight.
Wordlessly, she let him remove the canvas rucksack that she’d packed, slipping it over her head.
It landed with a soft thud on the floor.
He turned toward her, closing the distance until there was scarcely room for a breath between them.
“Are you sure about this?” Amelia asked.
“You’re my wife,” he answered simply.
Later, looking back, Amelia couldn’t say for certain who moved first. All that she could say for certain was that their lips met, soft and tentative at first, and then a hot wind seemed to blow through them.
With a sort of desperation, Amelia wrapped her arms around Cody’s neck, standing on her toes.
He obliged her, encircling her waist with his arms.
An unknown amount of time passed, but they finally parted, breathing hard and staring into one another’s eyes. Automatically, Amelia reached up to touch her lips, still tingling with the force of their kiss. She’d never felt anything like it before.
Cody kept one arm about her waist, and Amelia allowed herself to lean into him. He rested his head atop hers. Amelia allowed her eyes to flutter closed, simply existing within the embrace.
“We can’t keep living like this,” she whispered.
“No,” Cody agreed. “I think you might’ve had the right of it, though.”
Amelia pulled back just enough to give him a questioning look. Cody glanced down and, seeing her face, hurried to explain.
“Not about you leaving, that’s nonsense,” Cody said. “But we’ve been just reacting to Dean. I think it’s high time we act.”
“Good,” Amelia said. “I’m tired of running.”