Chapter 37
THIRTY-SEVEN
VIVIENNE
My breasts were aching.
I had grown another bra size just since Kor had left the house and the nectar was trickling steadily from my tight nipples.
I was in so much pain I was actually crying when I heard the Mustang’s rumbling engine driving up outside. Hastily, I grabbed a paper towel from the roll and blotted my eyes. I couldn’t let Kor know what was going on—he would want to help me, and I couldn’t because it was wrong.
He came in with a look on his face I couldn’t quite interpret. He had the pile of packages in his arms, and he sat them down on the end of the kitchen island.
“Oh, thank you!” I said, jumping up. But the motion made my breasts jiggle, and I winced with the sharp pain it caused. I smoothed my face out quickly though, not wanting Kor to see my distress.
“I hope they didn’t give you too much trouble at the post office,” I said, trying to make my voice sound light, instead of desperate which was how I felt.
“That Barbara—she thinks she should have been the one married to Carter. It’s one reason she’s always so nasty to me so I really appreciate you going to get everything. ”
“Sure, she had everything ready,” he said. He was watching me, his warm brown eyes looking worried again. “So what did you order?” he asked casually.
“Oh you know—more clothes.” I shrugged and then wished I hadn’t.
Even small gestures caused my tender nipples to rub against the cloth of my gown. The soft cotton felt like sandpaper to my irritated peaks. I was lucky that the voluminous robe I was wearing was dark blue and didn’t show stains, because I was leaking freely under it.
Not that I was about to let Kor know that.
“Here, I’ll take those. I’d better put them away,” I said, coming around to gather the boxes in my arms—though I wasn’t sure how I was going to carry them. They were going to press against my swollen breasts and that was going to hurt horribly. I would just have to tough it out, I supposed.
But as I reached for the boxes, Kor’s hand shot out and gripped me by the wrist.
“Hey, what—” I began.
He gave me a stern look.
“Show me your breasts.”
“What?” I stared at him, uncomprehending. “Kor, what are you talking about? This isn’t like you!” I protested.
“This is like me—when I’m feeling protective and worried,” he countered. “Come on, Vivienne—show me your breasts. I need to see what you’re hiding under that big robe.”
“What? I’m not hiding anything!” I scoffed.
“Then you won’t mind showing me.” His voice softened. “I swear it’s not sexual. I just need to know you’re okay.”
“I’m fine,” I said, pulling on my arm. But though his grip wasn’t too tight, it was firm, and he wasn’t letting me go. “Come on, Kor—I want to go up to my room,” I told him.
“I’ll let you go as soon as I know you’re all right,” he said, and I could tell by the way his voice had dipped to a soft growl that he wasn’t going to let me go until he saw what I was hiding.
I didn’t want him to see my shame…and yet, part of me wanted desperately to show him. To beg for his help and ask him to make the pain go away.
No, you can’t do that, I lectured myself. You’re a Moon Widow—it’s time to start acting like one.
But Kor wasn’t letting me go until I opened my robe.
“All right,” I said reluctantly. “Let go of my wrist and I’ll show you.”
“Fine.” He released my wrist and crossed his arms over his broad chest. “Let’s see.”
“Fine,” I echoed.
With trembling hands, I unbuttoned the voluminous robe. I meant to open it quickly, then close it and hurry away but the moment I peeled back the layers, Kor sucked in his breath with a hiss.
“Wait—wait!” he exclaimed, grabbing one side of my robe as I tried to leave. His eyes scanned my front and went from worried to upset. “Vivienne,” he said at last, looking up at me. “Why didn’t you tell me about this?”
“I…” I didn’t know what to say. “I just…” But the words wouldn’t come.
I couldn’t talk. I just looked down at myself in silence, feeling hurt and ashamed.