Chapter 21-Why Wasnt It You?
"Why?"
Vikram's voice shook.
Vinaya tightened her hold around Ganga.
"Why what?"
He looked toward the window.
Anything but her.
"Why did Priya die?"
Vinaya went still.
"Vikram—"
"Why did my son die?"
"I don't know."
"No one knows."
His breathing became uneven.
"No priest. No physician. No god."
Vinaya watched him carefully.
This was not ordinary anger.
This was something breaking loose after years of being buried.
"You think I don't see it?" he demanded.
"See what?"
"You."
His eyes finally met hers.
"You lived."
The words landed strangely.
Vinaya stared.
"Ganga lived."
Her arms tightened around the baby.
"Yes."
"And they didn't."
Silence.
Vikram's face twisted.
"Why?"
Vinaya whispered, "That is not a question I can answer."
"No."
He laughed once.
"You can't."
He looked at her.
Really looked.
And in that moment, grief made him cruel.
"Why wasn't it you?"
Vinaya stopped breathing.
Vikram heard himself.
He should have stopped.
He didn't.
"Why did Priya have to die?"
His voice cracked.
"Why did my son die when you survived?"
Ganga stirred.
Vinaya's face had gone completely blank.
"Enough."
But Vikram was drowning now.
"And she lives."
He pointed toward the child.
"My daughter lives."
"Vikram."
"Why couldn't it have been you?"
Silence.
Then the unforgivable:
"You and the child."
Vinaya's eyes filled.
Vikram's anger shattered the second the words left him.
But it was too late.
"Why couldn't the gods have taken you instead?"
Ganga began crying.
Vinaya looked down.
She soothed her.
Slowly.
Carefully.
As though Vikram no longer existed.
Then she looked at him.
There were tears in her eyes.
But her voice was steady.
"You may hate me."
Vikram's face collapsed.
"Vinaya—"
"No."
She stood.
Ganga against her chest.
"You may hate me for surviving."
One tear fell.
"You may hate me because she survived."
Another.
"But you will not teach my daughter to apologize for being alive."
Vikram could not speak.
Vinaya walked toward the door.
Then stopped.
She did not look back.
"You may hate me."
Her voice broke.