Chapter 18
EIGHTEEN
Despite being exhausted, Marian couldn’t go to sleep.
Her conversation with Sean earlier that evening was going through her mind over and over again, especially what he had said about her marriage to Theo.
She still felt a deep love for him, and she knew that would never go away.
But the way he had acted since they moved to Australia had been both selfish and inconsiderate.
I was also at fault, she thought. I could have tried harder and not complained so much.
We were so in love at first, so united in everything we did.
Then the children arrived and we were a happy family until the children left home.
Was that what wrecked our relationship? Not being a family any more, just two people with separate needs and dreams?
She wrestled with her thoughts and feelings until she finally fell into an uneasy sleep and woke up a few hours later, still unsettled and worried.
Giving up on sleep, she sat up in bed and checked her emails and saw that Sean had sent the novel in Word format.
Excited, she sent the document to her Kindle address and then picked it up to start reading.
She felt she had to read at least the first chapters before she could reassure herself that the story was not too damning for the family.
Marian turned on her Kindle and clicked on the book with the title Family Secrets and it opened at the first chapter. She was soon so engrossed in the story that she knew she wouldn’t be able to put it down.
The first chapter opened with a family party, and the birthday of the matriarch in the story, called Mary-Ellen Finegan, head of the Finegan family, who lived in a big country house on the edge of a cliff with views over Inch Beach and the surrounding countryside.
The family was similar to the Fleurys, only there were more grandchildren who were boys and girls and not just three girls like Sylvia’s granddaughters.
It was sweeping saga and much of what had happened at Magnolia Manor was described in the novel in such a way that it would be obvious to anyone in Dingle whose story this was based on.
‘Holy moly,’ Marian muttered when she came to the bit about the gambling debt that would threaten the ownership of the country house, which, thinly disguised, was so obviously based on the real manor.
And then the story about the twin brothers and the question of who was the rightful heir also came up, making Marian wince.
But then she forgot to compare the two families, as she was transported to the world Sean had created, and the love affair he had with Kerry and its people.
It was a wonderful novel – full of intrigue, conflict and drama, and the descriptive passages made Marian feel she was really there, in the house and gardens, with all the characters John Peters had created, as if his pen was a brush that painted pictures so vivid that Marian felt she was seeing everything in front of her, and hearing the voices of the people in the book and feeling their heartbreaks and joy all mixed together.
It was similar to the history of the Fleurys, but still different, even if some of the conflicts and problems were exactly what Marian had told Sean during that long and tedious flight when she had been so distraught and tired.
The house wasn’t quite the same as Magnolia Manor and the surroundings different, but it still resonated with her, as it would with everyone who knew the Fleurys.
The author had included a few details to distract the reader and to the casual observer, the novel was truly fictional.
But despite all this, Marian knew this story would expose the family and all the secrets they had been so anxious to hide to the outside world.
She felt so bad about her role in the whole mess that she began to cry, tears rolling down her cheeks until she was sobbing uncontrollably.
She covered her face with her hands and pushed her Kindle aside, giving herself up to her grief, not just about what she had done, but also the failure of her marriage that she feared was never going to be resolved.
Will Sylvia ever forgive me if she finds out what I’ve done? she wondered. And what about Theo? Will we ever be able to resolve our problems?
The tears and grief made Marian tired and she finally fell asleep, exhausted by all the emotions.
She had wanted to get to the part where the grandmother in the story went back to the memories of her youth, but sleep took over and Marian didn’t wake up until late the following morning when her phone rang.
It was Theo, wondering what had happened to her. ‘Weren’t you supposed to call me at nine?’ he asked, sounding slightly annoyed.
‘Oh, no, I overslept,’ Marian exclaimed. ‘I’m so sorry, Theo. Why don’t you come here and we’ll go for a spin around Dingle? We’ll take Claire’s car that she lent to me and make a day of it. What did you think of Inch Beach?’
‘Inch was good,’ he said. ‘The waves weren’t like in Queensland, but I was told that surfing is really best here in the winter. Especially after a storm.’
‘And then it’s dangerous,’ Marian remarked. Will he ever grow up? she wondered.
‘Yeah, but you can still ride a wave or two,’ Theo said. ‘Come on, babe, shake a leg. Get out of bed and let’s go and see the sights. Can’t sit here all day.’
Marian smiled at the old nickname. He had called her ‘babe’ when they were first dating. ‘Okay,’ she said, feeling a dart of excitement that surprised her ‘Give me half an hour and I’ll be outside to meet you, all washed and dressed and shipshape.’
‘You’re a good sport,’ he said, exaggerating his Australian accent.
‘I try my best. See you soon,’ Marian said, still smiling. Theo seemed in a good mood, which cheered her up. Whatever happened today, they wouldn’t have a row.
‘See ya,’ he said and hung up.
Marian got out of bed and after a quick shower, pulled on her jeans and a green T-shirt with ‘I love Kerry’ in big white letters, just to emphasise her allegiance to the county she now considered her home.
Then she pulled a brush through her hair, applied sunscreen and had a cup of tea and toast with a thick slice of cheese, and an apple.
That done, she ran down the stairs, saying hello to an older woman appearing from one of the flats.
‘Lovely day,’ the woman said as they walked down the stairs together. ‘I hope the weather holds. I’m going to Dingle to meet my grandchildren and I promised to take them to Murphy’s ice cream shop.’
‘I’m sure it will stay nice all day,’ Marian said as they reached the front door. ‘Have a lovely time with the grandkids.’
‘I hope you have a lovely day, too,’ the woman said before she got into her car and drove off, just as Theo arrived on foot up the avenue.
‘So do I,’ Marian mumbled as she walked down the steps to meet him.
‘Hi,’ he said and then awkwardly leaned forward to place a light kiss on her cheek.
Marian breathed in the familiar smell of lemon soap he had always used and then took a step back to look at him. ‘You shaved,’ she said, happy to see his smooth tanned skin and that the dark circles under his eyes were nearly gone. ‘And you had a good rest. Feeling better?’
‘Yes, much better,’ he said, smiling.
‘Great,’ she said. ‘So let’s get going, then. My car is the red Yaris over there. Hope you won’t find it too uncomfortable.’
‘It’s fine,’ he assured her, and they got into the car, Theo squeezing his tall frame into the passenger seat with a little bit of wriggling.
Then he grinned at Marian. ‘Don’t look so worried.
I’m feeling great and looking forward to the drive.
So come on, girl. Show me the sights and let’s put our troubles on ice for a while, okay? ’
She had to smile. His good mood was contagious and she found herself looking forward to the day ahead. ‘Okay,’ she said and started the car.
They were soon driving up the road towards Ventry and then Marian decided to take the Slea Head Drive, which would take them along the coast of the Dingle peninsula all the way to Ballyferriter.
The views were spectacular and the sun came out of the clouds and shone on the sea that turned a deep turquoise in the bright light.
‘Wow,’ Theo said, looking out the window.
‘Sky and sea all the way to the horizon. And the mountains plunging into the ocean and the green grass everywhere. It’s all so incredible.
’ He rolled down the window. ‘Just to feel that sea air,’ he said.
‘It’s such a treat to have this fresh air coming at you all the time and not to have to hide from the sun. It nearly makes me feel drunk.’
Marian shook her head and laughed. ‘You can have a pint of Guinness at the pub where we’re having lunch. It’s near Ballyferriter on the edge of a cliff. Just wait till you see it. Then you’ll be truly drunk, both from the Guinness and the stunning views.’
‘You’re spoiling me,’ he said. ‘Does this mean you think we have a chance?’
Marian slowed the car and stopped at a point that had views of both the mountainside and the ocean below.
She looked at him for a moment. ‘Yes, we might have a chance to get back together. But it depends on so many things. I need to keep the freedom I have found here. That is something I’ll never give up. ’
‘You want us to live apart?’ he asked, looking both confused and hurt.