Chapter 58
Chapter Fifty-Eight
Foster
What a banner week. Two-game suspension, a blown endorsement, and now I’m back to face what I’ve done.
Decker and Easton peel off to head to their condos, and I continue up the stairs to my own. My finger hovers over my keypad because I have no idea what I’ll find when I get inside.
I didn’t message Callie while I was away because I didn’t want to have the conversation over the phone. Hayes warmed up a bit as the days went on. At least he’s being cordial now, but it’s not like it was.
I punch in my code, and when I push the door open, the consequences of my actions hit me square in the face.
There’s no candle scent.
No soft glow of a lamp.
No throw blanket over the couch.
Most of all, there’s no Callie.
It’s as if all the life has been drained from this place. It’s an empty shell, a husk of what was.
I cross the room and push open her bedroom door to find it empty like before she moved in.
You really did it this time. Fucked up good.
Why did I think she’d even entertain staying here after how I acted?
The couch feels like a beacon of loneliness, so I lean against the wall and slide down onto my ass, my arms resting on my knees and my head falling forward so my chin hits my chest.
I’m so mad at myself. I want to destroy the condo. Lash out. Take a knife and shred the couch so it matches my shredded heart.
For the millionth time, I wish I could do it over. That when she looked up at me with so much love and vulnerability, I didn’t crush her. I could have stayed, talked it out, but I ran—like a fucking coward. An undeserving coward.
I hear the electronic beep of the keypad at my door. Someone is punching in the code. I scramble to my feet and jog over to the door, but when it opens, it’s Hayes and Leighton.
“Hey,” Hayes says. From the pity in his eyes, I know he can see my disappointment that he’s not his sister. “Yeah, she’s not coming.”
I nod. “She moved out?” I look at Leighton.
She nods. “She’ll be with us at least until the baby comes.”
I inhale a sharp breath and go back to the living room, but instead of sitting on the couch, I go back to the floor.
“There something wrong with the couch?” Hayes asks, about to sit on it.
“It’s a thing with them.” Leighton makes a gesture like he should sit.
“Like I shouldn’t sit on it?” He turns to inspect the couch.
“Just sit.” Leighton rolls her eyes.
“Listen…” Hayes starts off the conversation.
I brace myself for a lecture I really don’t want. I already know I fucked up. I know I’m at fault. I know I’m the puppeteer of my own misery.
“I was really mad when I first heard what went down with you and Callie the other day. But I’m pissed at myself that you lost that endorsement because of our fight on the field.
So I’m sorry for that, but I’ve calmed down now, and I have some things I need to say.
You should know that when I first found out about you two, I told my sister I was Team Callie and Team Foster. ”
“Be Team Callie.”
He huffs out a laugh and glances at Leighton. She nods for him to continue.
“I don’t know if me telling you this will make a difference in what has already happened. Maybe you and Callie will just be co-parents for real,” he says.
Knife in the chest.
“But I think it needs to be said, for the future I still want you to have because you’re my best friend, and you’re missing out on something pretty great. What you need to know is that you’re enough, Foster.” He glances at Leighton, who nods. “I feel like a therapist,” he whines.
“You sound like one too,” I grumble.
Hayes stands. “See? I told you guys don’t talk like this to each other.”
Leighton tugs him back down by the sleeve and slides closer to me.
“What Hayes is trying to say is that you deserve love, Foster. You deserve Callie’s love.
And I can tell you, as someone who has been loved by Callie since I was a freshman in high school, she’s worth the risk.
She’s loyal, and has your back, and always wants the best for you. ”
“I know all this,” I say. “It’s not her that’s the problem.”
They stare at each other for a beat. I’d like them to leave so I can wallow for the foreseeable future and then pick myself up and move on with my life as if these past four months never happened.
Even if that feels impossible right now.
“Do you love her?” Hayes asks. “And don’t bullshit me. If you don’t, that’s fine, but do you?”
I’ve never told any woman I loved her. Hell, the last time I told anyone I loved them was when I was young and I told my mom. Look how that turned out.
Still, I can’t deny the truth. I give Hayes a sharp nod.
“Thought so. Then you have to fight, man.”
“What Hayes means—”
Hayes looks at his fiancée. “I said what I meant.”
Leighton slides off the couch and onto the coffee table across from him. “Yes, and it was great.” She taps his leg a little condescendingly.
Hayes shakes his head and leans back on the couch.
I bite my lip to stop a small smile from forming.
“You have to fight for yourself, Foster.” Leighton meets my gaze and holds it.
“You need to realize that you deserve this. You deserve to have Callie love you. This isn’t about fighting for Callie.
She already wants to be yours. But you have to work on you.
Put Callie out of the equation. How do you see this going with your unborn child?
How do you expect your child to feel deserving of love if all he sees is a father who doesn’t? ”
Fuck… she has a point.
“I’m gonna be honest, no one gets to love you more than you love yourself.
You can’t keep destroying the relationships in your life, because it will inevitably trickle down to that little one growing in Callie’s belly.
It’s admirable that you want to be a different parent for your baby, but you need to do the work first. And yes, it will be unpleasant, and it will hurt, but once you’re on the other side of it…
well, I think you’ll find that Callie and your child are worth it. ”
She sends a questioning glance at Hayes, and he gives her a small shake of his head, but she rolls her eyes.
A crease forms between my brows. “What?”
“It’s up to you, of course. But if you wanted, you could take the first step today…
your mom is downstairs at Decker’s.” She raises her hand before I have a chance to speak.
“You don’t have to forgive her. We have no idea what happened, so maybe you’re right—maybe she doesn’t deserve your forgiveness.
But I think you deserve some healing. Maybe in order to do that, you need to hear her out.
And if you still feel the same way, okay.
But I think you need to handle that part of your past so you can move forward with your future. ”
Hayes stares at me.
“I’m not a psychologist or anything, so take my advice as a friend who really wants to see you happy… and maybe with her best friend.” Leighton smiles sweetly, then pushes herself up off the coffee table. She puts her hand on my shoulder before walking over to the door. “I’ll be outside.”
Leighton opens the door to leave but then turns around. “If he says no, Hayes, ask him for the couch.” She laughs and walks out.
“She’s just joking,” Hayes says.
“Take the couch for Callie,” I tell him.
He doesn’t say anything for a beat before he gets that look in his eye. The same one he gets on the field when we’re on the cusp of winning a game.
“All right, now that she’s gone, let me tell you what you’re gonna do.
” He leans forward and rests his forearms on his knees.
“You’re gonna get off your ass. You’re gonna go down to Decker’s and hear your mom out.
And then you’re gonna do one big grand fucking gesture for Callie.
You love her, and she’s what you want. Sure, fight for yourself, but fight for the love the two of you have together.
You never would’ve hooked up with my sister behind my back if there wasn’t something there from the get-go.
I knew that all along. So stop wallowing like a punkass and go do the work to win her back. ”
Hayes stands from the couch and takes a few steps before turning back around. “I’m telling you, it’s a great life. Don’t miss out on it.”
He walks out, and the door shuts behind him.
I rock my head against the wall and close my eyes, steeling myself for what’s to come.