Deacon
The doorbell rings at five minutes to seven, a smile spreading across my face as I wipe my hands on the kitchen towel and give the room one last quick look. It’s tidy without looking like I manically deep cleaned in here.
Which is good.
Crossing toward the door, I take a breath and then turn the handle, my breath catching in my lungs as I catch sight of Tanner on my porch.
He looks handsome in dark jeans and a button-up shirt that already has the sleeves rolled.
His hair is styled, and I can tell without touching him that his face is freshly shaven.
“Evening,” I repeat my greeting from the night before as his warm eyes meet mine. “Come on in.”
“Thanks, you look great,” he says, as he eyes my plain black T-shirt and jeans. I didn’t bother putting on shoes or socks after my shower, but now I think I should have if for no other reason than to make Tanner more at ease.
“So do you,” I murmur, blatantly checking him out as he steps past me and continues walking into the kitchen where he sets a case of beer on the counter.
“I didn’t know what to bring so I got a variety pack.”
“Looks perfect,” I tell him, a shiver racing through him when I stand at his back, his whole body tensing at my closeness. “Tanner?”
“Yeah?”
“Would it help if I kissed you?”
He chuckles, the sound soft and alluring. “Couldn’t hurt.”
Good enough for me.
Without waiting for him to overthink it, I turn him and cup his face in my hands, my mouth covering his as I back him against the counter. When he’s pinned, I slide my tongue along the seam of his lips, his moan the sweetest thing as his hands grip my sides.
He smells like sandalwood and mountain air and tastes like mint. The combination permeates my senses as I kiss him deeply—possessively—making it clear how I feel in this moment.
About him being in my house.
“Better?” I whisper against his lips. They’re swollen and pink and utterly delicious.
“Surprisingly, yes.”
Now it’s my turn to laugh, pulling back enough to look at him as I swipe the pad of my thumb against his cheek. “Why is it surprising?”
“It feels like you just knew what I needed, when I don’t even know half the time.”
There’s an odd tone to his voice—something like awe and disbelief and a healthy dose of frustration. It’s understandable. He’s been through a lot, and all I can do is reassure him that even though this is in its infancy, it’s working.
We’re working.
“I have always gravitated toward the caretaker role. My father and my brother both needed care over the years, and I like helping. I like making people feel good but, in this case,”—I lean into him, crowding his space and forcing him to lean back to meet my gaze—“it’s entirely selfish.”
“Is that right?”
“It is. I like the way your pulse flutters in your throat and the way your pupils dilate when I’m close to you. I like seeing you a little unsteady, and I like that you’re using me like an anchor in a storm.”
“How the hell have you been single all this time?” he breathes and I smile, loving the compliment and the fact that he still hasn’t let me go.
“I’m selective in who I spend time with…
who I give my time to.” He swallows hard, his Adam’s apple bobbing, no doubt remembering our conversation in the bar when I told him I was done chasing him.
“My heart’s been broken like everyone else’s and not just by romantic relationships but all relationships.
It took a long time to prioritize myself, so every loss doesn’t break me. ”
“I’m sorry I couldn’t get my shit together sooner.” He pauses. “Although I’m not entirely sure how much I have together now either.”
“You put a hole in the wall so I’d come fix it,” I tease, my hand moving to grip the back of his neck. “I’d say you’re making progress.”
“I told you that Sorren did that.”
“For you.”
He blushes and I apply pressure where I’m holding him, his eyes widening and his lips parting. He likes this.
Needs this.
And to really drive the point home, I lean down and take his mouth in a bruising kiss, ravaging every available inch until he’s melting against me.
He doesn’t need soft. He needs to be claimed, the reassurance of my lips on his and my body crowding him against the counter imprinting on his psyche.
I’ll give him all the reassurance he needs, especially if my reward is this relaxed, pliable version of Tanner.
Willing.
And one step closer to being mine.