Chapter 19
CHAPTER NINETEEN
NORA
Airik set Nora down in front of the shuttle, on top of its half-melted door.
Eager to escape the ocean—as quiet as it had been—she took an experimental step into the soot-covered chaos of the crew shuttle.
The small cabin hall was half the width she remembered, the walls bent out of shape, softened by what she assumed had been a fire.
Wires hung from the ceiling, some fused together by heat.
The medipod had been crushed under a portion of the roof.
Its glass face lay in broken pieces on the ground.
Frayed black straps lay across the jagged opening.
If not for Airik cutting her free and pulling her out, she would’ve died.
She took it all in, anxiety building in her chest. No traces of her uncle, not even a stray bloody fingerprint.
Now that she’d lost the necklace he’d given her—god knows where he’d gotten it from—she had nothing left of him but the food packs that Airik had squeezed into both their backpacks.
Spotting a drawer slightly ajar at the bottom of a supply cabinet, she reached to push the wires out of the way.
A sharp tug pulled her back by the collar of her suit.
“Wires are alive!” Airik hissed, pushing her behind him. He sliced through the remaining hanging wires with his sword. They gave way on contact, as if the blade held them taut in place for cutting.
He turned, giving what Nora knew to be a hard glare from behind his helmet. “You might have been touched by death.”
Who the fuck cares? she wanted to say. I’m probably going to die out here anyway.
“Thank you,” she said, scooting past him. “For clearing the way before you leave.”
He grabbed her chin with his gloved hand, forcing her to face him. For long seconds, they looked at one another. Two blue-green lights flashed from within. She blinked, and they were gone.
Maybe he thought she blamed him.
“The wires are dead,” she said gently. “They only spark because of the onboard battery. They wouldn’t have hurt me.” That was probably wrong, but she didn’t want him to worry about her when he left.
His finger twitched. The rough tips of his glove scratched her chin. For a moment, she thought he’d finally pull that helmet off to give her the full heat of his anger.
Yes, please take that stupid thing off and let me see you before you leave me.
He let her go, taking three long strides back to the entry door, leaning against the frame. He rubbed his injured hand against his chest.
Remorse crushed her. His hand still hurt, and it was her fault that it did. Still, she couldn’t ignore the disappointment that she’d survived, only to be abandoned again in a wholly foreign world.
As she lowered herself to the floor with a concerning amount of effort, she shoved her ungratefulness into a black pit churning in her mind, ever-present and heavy.
Letting out a small sigh, she pulled open the drawer. It was stuffed with toothpaste tablets and toiletry kits. “Thank god,” Nora exclaimed, a little shocked by her good fortune. She gathered the meager treasures so she wouldn’t have to search for them in the dark.
She unzipped her bag, then grabbed a handful of tablets to stuff inside. “Do you need toothpaste—” Nora froze, faced with the contents of her work backpack.
Glittery orange tabby cats smiled back at her—her haircare bag. Joe must’ve shoved it in there on top of all the socks. A small luxury. One of the only things she had brought with her from Earth. An impractical amount of shampoo, conditioner, and curl cream.
An uncomfortable flutter of grief ached within her.
She shoved the cat bag under the socks and pushed down the tears.
Was this the only way Joe knew how to love anymore?
By shooting her off into space and making sure her hair routine was intact?
He’d been so concerned with keeping her alive that he hadn’t bothered to get to know her as an adult, because then he’d know she would’ve liked to stay with him.
No matter what. Maybe it was clinging, but at least she wouldn’t have been alone.
She turned again, avoiding placing herself in Airik’s line of sight as he started to move about the ruined cabin. Was there a single person in the universe who knew how to love Nora as she needed to be loved?
Probably not. The only person who was supposed to love her…didn’t. And she could barely stand herself.
Airik came closer, standing an arm’s length away. He tapped the transport programming screen that Joe had used just days before.
Nora finished scooping everything into the bag when a thought occurred to her that didn’t revolve around all that she’d lost. “You said my ship appeared and then you chased me. What did that look like?”
Airik tapped the screen again with his gloved hand. It cracked under the pressure of his finger. He yanked back, holding his hand up as if his own strength surprised him.
“It’s okay,” Nora said. “It’s all broken anyway.”
He spoke while holding his finger before him, observing it. “You came out of the same…door I used to come here. From my world to this one.”
That wasn’t the answer she’d expected. “You didn’t fly here? I thought you said we can’t leave because your wings are broken.”
“We cannot go.” He bristled, as if annoyed she questioned his assessment of their hopeless situation. “I explain but don’t have the words.”
“Try,” she said. “And I’ll try my best to understand you.” She smiled, realizing he had no reason to linger but for some reason…did.
He dropped his hand, flexing his fingers.
“We fly up from the ground to the sky. But not through stars—it takes too long. We…jump. From place to place.” He reached up, tapping the side of his helmet where his cheek would be, then just as abruptly pushed it down as he must’ve realized what he was doing.
Was he…nervous? “Maybe gate is a better word. The gates become hot—too hot for air. But in the blackness of the sky, much colder, so the doors work better.”
Nora gaped at him. Joe had used a similar description to describe how the HyperGates were coded. The HyperGate on Earth did overheat, which was why humans weren’t sent through it, only specially designed craft and equipment. “How do you know where you’re going?”
“Numbers. We pick where to go like an…address.”
A memory of Joe quickly configuring the HyperGate flashed in her mind.
Did I end up here because of a fucking typo that routed me to the wrong place? Or had it been the solar storms messing up the codes?
She could have asked Airik, who might’ve known better, but instead said, “Who builds the gates if it’s too far to fly?”
“Thinking machines are sent. For many years they travel. They do the work.”
“Oh…” Nora contributed uselessly.
Airik considered her, his helmet tilting as he looked straight down at her. If only he’d take that damn thing off. “How did you try to go where you were going?”
“We jump, too. We go through a gate—a door—and then come out the other side. Was there anything weird about your door when I came through?”
“Yes,” he said after a brief pause. “You came out of light. There’s never been any light before.”
The ground shook. Airik pulled her to a stand, then pushed her against a wall, covering her with his body. Before Nora could register what had happened or that Airik’s suit did nothing to stop his heat from reaching her, the tremors were over.
Nora clutched her bag tightly. “What the fuck was that?”
He turned his head slightly.
After a moment of stillness, they heard birds cawing as they had before.
“The planet is broken,” he said, stepping back. “It will not act right.”
Nora bit back an inopportune smile. “I thought breaking the planet was your job. It seems someone’s beat you to it.”
“I mean, we built this planet.” She thought she heard the trace of a smile in his voice. “For you to breathe. To be how it is. But it was not made right. Not balanced. Unpredictable.”
“Your people can terraform—I mean, remake a planet into what you want?” She relaxed against the wall, a little relieved. “Maybe the Veynari aren’t so evil—they sound kind of amazing. Portals, doors, a hero like you to save me.”
Almost imperceptible, but she did catch it—he flinched.
“I leave you,” he said suddenly.
“What?” It felt like the air had been sucked from her lungs.
She limped after him until he reached the doorway, where he hovered. “You don’t have to leave so soon, do you?” she asked, beyond caring that she sounded so pitiful. Oceans were calmer at night—at least the ones on Earth. If he could stay till then, maybe she’d be all right.
He stepped away from her.
She’d said something wrong. Offended him somehow.
Rip the bandage off quickly. He never expected or wanted a problem like you.
“Never mind. You should get back.” She retreated into the shuttle. “Thank you for bringing me back. And for saving me. I’ll be okay. I promise.”
He lingered, unraveling the wrappings from his hand, letting the bloody cloth flutter away in the breeze. “Ohh-kay,” he said unexpectedly, drawing out the word in an apparent attempt to mock her.
She frowned at his sudden turn in demeanor. A regular Major Asshole.
“Yes,” she said, squaring her trembling shoulders. “You can go now. I’ll be okay—” She shut her mouth, fighting that phrase she knew was a curse controlling her tongue.
He tilted his head, as if the new angle might pierce her deeper. “Are you…okay?”
Nora stood in the darkness, thankful she couldn’t see him through the black visor of the helmet.
He muttered something in his own tongue, scrutinizing her just long enough to make her heart stammer. Sparing her from saying okay again—the reflex rising quickly—he kicked over a drawer. He pointed at it as if she were a dog. “Sit. Wait.”
A lump formed in her throat as her gaze fell on the three welts across the back of his hand, already turning gray with scar tissue.
She sat down where he wanted.
It was only when she set her bag down that he finally left.
Nora groaned, closing her eyes. It was easier to pretend she was anywhere but back in the wreckage of the shuttle and her life.
Anticipating the sound of waves, she listened for the crashes, shivering and sweating all at once.
But none came. Just the squawks of birds and the rustling of a breeze through the bushes growing on the cliffs above.
She sighed, no more able to turn off the part of her brain that waited for disaster to strike than the part of her brain that was certain Airik was gone for good.