Chapter 20 - Avilyna
Avilyna
CAUGHT OFF GUARD
My feet carry me toward the Healers’ quarters. Finding my dad’s room is laughably easy, same as yesterday, same as the day before that or the other ones. Even while grief overwhelms my senses, my body remembers where to go. I step in, sit by the bed, and…nothing.
No change.
He’s still asleep, still breathing. The slow, steady rhythm of it is the only thing keeping me from completely unravelling. I stay beside him for a few seconds before the silence starts to crawl under my skin. Shooting to my feet, I suddenly have too much energy and nowhere to put it.
Answers.
I need answers.
Or distractions.
Or both.
That’s when I see her.
Aunt Ruby, only she’s not sitting in her wheelchair.
She’s standing on four legs. My brain goes blank for a second before my mouth does the stupid thing it always does.
“You’re a fucking centaur!”
It comes out too loud, too blunt, like I’ve forgotten how to talk to the people I love. Even the ones who lied to me. Her head turns toward me slowly, like she’s used to the reaction. But when our eyes meet, everything inside me just… calms. Her face, familiar, full of quiet love.
It hasn’t changed, not really.
That’s still my aunt. Still, the woman who made pancakes shaped like animals on Sunday mornings, adding a little twist to dad’s tradition, and let me crawl into her bed when I had nightmares. She’s just… a little more magical now.
And somehow, that tracks.
I move on impulse, crossing the room and throwing my arms around her. It’s awkward, there’s more of her to hold now, more torso and legs to navigate around, but she hugs me back with that same steady warmth, the kind that makes it feel like nothing’s changed.
I’m still nine years old, convinced that if I whispered the right words, my stuffed animals would somehow come to life. And honestly, now that I think about it, that wasn’t all that far-fetched. Looks as if, deep down, I might’ve known all along that magic was real.
“I missed you,” I mumble, my arms around her middle. Ruby’s new height imposes a different type of embrace.
“I missed you, too,” she says softly, and it’s definitely her. Hooves and all, and for the first time since I got here, I don’t feel too out of place.
“I’m sorry you had to face all of this alone,” Ruby murmurs, her arms enveloping me in warmth I didn’t realize I craved. “By the time I was notified, you were already heading toward Kallahan.” Her words land heavy, but it’s nothing compared to the anxiety twisting in my gut.
“What’s going on? Why isn’t Dad waking up?” The words rush out, desperate, but I can’t hold back the flood of questions anymore. Ruby’s gaze shifts around the room, wary, making sure we’re alone. She steps toward me, leading us to a quieter corner where they keep the healing herbs.
“We were waiting for you to awaken first," Ruby starts, her voice cracking with a sadness that makes my heart tighten. "Before telling you everything. But now... I realize how wrong we were. We thought we were protecting you, keeping you from the horrors of this world. You were so far from it, from everything dangerous, and we didn’t want to rip that peace from you.” I feel the sting of her words, but anger burns hotter, rising in my chest.
“That wasn’t your call to make! I knew something was wrong with me, you all made me feel like I was insane!” Words fly out, my voice shaking with hurt. Ruby’s face crumbles, and for the first time, I see regret in her warm eyes.
“I’m so sorry, Lyna. We just... wanted to protect you.”
“Tell me the truth,” I demand, my voice steady but laced with desperation, my heart’s hammering in my chest as if it's about to break free. Ruby exhales, as if she’s gathering the courage to say something that could free me.
“During the Bloodmoon War, all valkyries were summoned by the Holy Horn to fight against Nekros, the King of Netherworld. His goal was simple: to conquer all worlds, to gain unlimited power… The only ones capable of stopping him were the valkyries, Kvirr’s warriors.
But they were betrayed, and fell.” She pauses, looking away for just a moment, her voice trembling.
“Well... almost all of them. The ones who survived? They went into hiding. And you…” Her eyes lock with mine, raw and unflinching, filled with a sorrow that I’m not sure I’m ready for. “You’re the daughter of one of them.”
The words hit me, a freight train crashing through my thoughts, my reality. I freeze, the ground shifting beneath me. For a second, everything around me blurs, as if the air itself is scrambling to put me back together.
“Your father found you on the battlefield. You were 8 years old, unconscious. That’s what he told me.
” The weight of her words presses down on me, suffocating.
My heart aches as the truth claws at my insides.
The pieces are finally starting to fall into place, a jagged puzzle I can’t unsee.
This world, this twisted, violent world, has always been my home.
“That’s all you know? Not who she was? Not who I am?” My voice cracks as I choke on the bitterness, my throat tight with emotion.
Ruby’s eyes soften with regret. “Your dad was the right hand of the General—”
“He’s not my dad,” I cut her off, the words coming out sharper than I expected, tasting like poison on my tongue. She flinches, her face shadowed with sorrow, but she doesn’t retreat.
“Rey was assigned to lead the lycan’s legion. So, except for the close circle around the General, he didn’t know the other valkyries.”
“Bullshit,” I snap, my frustration bubbling over. “He should’ve just left me there, let me die. It would’ve saved us both so much trouble.” Her eyes darken at my words, and suddenly, her fury surges, raw and uncontrollable.
“Don’t ever say that!” Ruby’s voice is sharp. The anger radiating off her as heat from a furnace, and I stand frozen in shock. She’s never yelled at me before, not like this.
I open my mouth to argue, but the words die before I can get them out. This is the first time that she looks at me like this, as if I matter more than her own pain. Unlike me, she’s not controlled by anger. It's stronger than anything I’ve ever felt. It shuts me down. I can’t move, can’t speak.
"But why can’t I remember?" I finally manage, my voice small and desperate, a knot tightening in my chest. Ruby sighs, her eyes filled with pain I’m not used to seeing. Looking at me as if she failed me.
"I tried everything, every enchantment I knew, and kept learning, but nothing ever made the memory lock break.
" She hesitates, her breath unsteady, before she continues, her voice soft and strained.
"We thought the awakening would break the spell. That it would bring your memories back, make everything easier to explain, since you’d already know who you are. "
"But I never awakened," I whisper, the weight of the words heavier than I expected. Ruby’s shoulders slump, guilt clouding her eyes until it’s almost suffocating.
“We were pretentious, thinking we knew better. I’m so sorry, Avilyna. Can you ever forgive us?” The words hit, a punch to the gut. Just one sentence, heavy with regret and it cuts straight through the anger I’ve been clinging to. The only thing left is a hollow ache.
A sharp, unbearable mix of betrayal… and a desperate need for answers. I want to scream, to hurl every frustration I’ve buried, to accuse her of everything I’ve been forced to feel. But the sorrow in her eyes makes it impossible.
All I can do is stand there, paralyzed, drowning beneath the weight of it all.
And for a split second, I see her. Not the centaur standing in front of me now, but the aunt who used to hold me when I was scared.
The one who kissed my forehead and made the world feel safe.
I meet Ruby’s gaze, and everything I’m feeling is laid bare between us.
She sees it, the storm churning behind my eyes.
All of it.
"You can decide later," she says with a sigh, her voice quiet but steady. "I know it's a lot to digest."
Nodding, I can’t help but ask. "Were you the one on the phone with Dad the other day?" Her expression tightens, just for a second, before she answers.
"Yes, I asked him to tell you everything, but as you know now, he wasn’t thrilled by the idea." I let out a short breath.
"When will he wake up?"
"The demons that attacked him left a residue, a venom. We’ve tried everything, but nothing’s worked…
Other cases have been reported throughout the kingdoms. We’re working with alchemists now, so don’t worry, we’ll find a remedy soon.
" Her tone is calm, but there’s a flicker of uncertainty behind her words.
I stare at her, unconvinced, and change the subject."Do you live in the Institute?"
Shaking her head, a faint smile tugs at the corners of her lips.
"I usually travel between here and the mundane realm, helping in the healing department. So, no, I don’t have a permanent home.
In fact, I’m travelling again tomorrow." A flicker of resentment, perhaps, or longing washes over me as I process her words.
"You’ll be gone for long?" The question slips with practice.
"Not too long, I’m meeting with the healers of Arvendal to discuss the situation." I hum absently in response, my gaze dropping to the floor. The emptiness of the room mirrors the one inside me. But before I can retreat too far into my mind, Ruby grabs my hands, pulling my attention back to her.
“I want you to be careful,” she says, her tone firm. “You can’t trust anyone with what you are. Learn everything you can, because—”
“Knowledge is power,” I finish for her.
The words slip out before I can stop them, as if they’d been there all along, just waiting on the tip of my tongue.
A mantra, buried deep in the recesses of my mind, a fragment of something I can’t quite reach.
Ruby pauses, her eyes narrowing as she takes in my interruption.
For a moment, she looks caught off guard, but then she nods.
“Yes,” she says, her voice dipping lower, now laced with something heavier.
“Knowledge is power. But listen to me, Avilyna. We lost the Bloodmoon War because we were betrayed. People in power... they’re greedy.
They always want more. And the only thing standing in their way was the valkyries, the true warriors of light.
The only way to get rid of them was to betray Elgar.
To make a deal with Netherworld.” She pauses, her gaze darkening, a flicker of caution sparking in her eyes.
“Those who deny this truth? They might be the very ones exploiting it for their own gain. Be wary. Be clever.” Her words hang in the air, a warning wrapped in a history I don’t understand but now find myself tangled in.
After Ruby shows me how to call her with a feather, the incantation makes the particles detach into a cloud of dust. I head back toward the manor, my thoughts a tangled mess.
Now that I know there are people out there who might want to hurt me, I’d rather stick close to the two guys I can keep an eye on than deal with the whole damn school.
The fact that one of them is related to the one calling the shots might turn into my advantage.
Being in the front row seat in case whispers of danger rise, that might give me the leverage I need to make it out alive.
At least at the manor, I get some privacy.
My room, no need to share. The Institute might offer space, but it also feels suffocating, like too many eyes are on me.
Wyll’s fun, sure, attractive, definitely.
But I’m not about to complicate things by diving into a romantic mess right now.
I have enough to handle without adding that kind of chaos to the mix.
What I could use right now is a way to release all this pent-up frustration, something to help me shake off the weight of it all.
Someone who might be able to tap into that bottled-up rage I can’t seem to escape.
Walking, lost in my thoughts, I reach into my back pocket and pull out the roochies from last night, the familiar sensation of the smooth paper between my fingers grounds me. The lingering acrid smell of the burnt herbs already calms my nerves. This will have to do.
Lighting it, I pause for a moment, allowing the smoke to fill my lungs, my body finally letting go of the tight tension coiling inside me. Exhaling slowly, savouring the brief moment of calm before the storm catches up again.
Because it always does.