Chapter 39 A Courtyard of Darkness #2
Bringing her back against him, he reached under her skirts, bringing a hand between her legs. She shuddered. He licked his fingers and brought them against her again. He rubbed her gently, then faster, until she felt pleasure mount.
She grew irritated, thinking it would be impossible for her to come at such an angle. Couldn’t he see that she wanted him already? He didn’t need to tease her anymore.
He seemed not to care for her irritation. He licked his fingers again and moved them harder and faster against her.
A few minutes later, in a state of disbelief, her body tensed and pleasure mounted. She felt like she was about to … she exploded with pleasure underneath his hand.
Caspian buried his face in the crook of her shoulder, and she sagged in his arms. He seemed content to hold her, and she wiggled deeper into his embrace.
“More,” she demanded, pushing against him. How dare he tease her in such a way, then stop?
She felt around behind her and gripped his hardness in her hand.
“So eager for me,” Caspian murmured. He gripped her hair so hard that it was almost painful. She turned, her eyes snapping to his. An evil smirk played about his lips, and he released her.
He bent her over more, arching her back and rubbed himself over her, grazing her over and over again, but not entering her, until she was left trembling with anticipation.
She writhed against him, pleading.
When he finally slipped it in, she cursed.
Slowly, frustratingly slow, he moved against her, sheathing himself to the hilt and stilling. She gave a low moan, and he did it again.
He gripped her hips and brought her against him faster.
He bent her over more and she gripped the wall in front of her, darting a look backwards.
His stare was intense on hers as he rammed into her from behind.
He hit an especially delicious spot, and she let out a low sound, her brows knitting.
He felt so good, she felt like she would die if he stopped.
He slowed and brought her back against his chest, and wrapped a hand around her throat.
She gasped as he grinded inside of her, and his grip around her throat tightened. A guttural growl emanated deep from his chest, then he released her, bent her over, and pinned her hands behind her back, slamming his hips against hers.
Panting, she glanced back to watch him, eyes riveted on his burly chest heaving with exertion, and his eyes narrowed in focus.
It felt so impossibly good, she tensed all over, her lips parting.
“Seven Hells, Elizabeth.”
Pleasure climbed to new heights as he went faster.
Just when she thought she couldn’t take anymore, he groaned, pulsing as he came. His head fell back in bliss.
He gave her a lazy smile and hugged her fiercely. She tried to extricate herself from his embrace, but he held firm, refusing to let go.
She wiggled out of his embrace and faced him.
She rearranged her skirts, her cheeks warming as she realized what they had done, in the middle of the courtyard no less.
She patted his pectoral.
“This changes nothing between us,” she said firmly.
She stepped away, bringing the walls back up around her mind.
His magic that had drenched the courtyard in darkness slowly dissipated, the courtyard gardens and castle walls still shrouded in shadows. She strode towards the faint outline of the castle door.
“Elizabeth.”
She stopped in her tracks and glanced back.
He reached towards her, his fingers hesitating, suspended in midair. “Won’t you let me hold you for a moment?”
She tilted her head. “Is that really such a good idea?”
She didn’t want him to act like there were any romantic feelings between them. They had both given in to their desires tonight, nothing more.
Caspian gestured to a stone bench in the courtyard. “Would you sit with me for a while?”
Slowly, she walked over, and sat next to him, hesitantly leaning into his warmth. His arm draped around her and brought her head to rest upon his chest. Caspian murmured, “Let’s stay like this. Just for a minute.”
Her brow furrowed, but she didn’t move from his embrace.
After a moment, he said, “That was … that was incredible.”
“It really was,” she admitted.
He laced his fingers in hers, and his lips touched her hair. “If there was something that would make you happier, I would do it.”
She glanced up at him in surprise.
His face was genuine, and his eyes were green. “I want you to smile more. At me.”
She smiled widely, and said through clenched teeth, “Better?”
Caspian laughed, the sound booming. “No, not because I asked you to, but because you want to.” He dragged a hand through his hair. “I don’t want the version of you at court. I want the real you. Relaxed. At peace. Smiling. With me.”
She raised a brow. “I think I was pretty relaxed a second ago.”
He made a sound of exasperation. “You know what I mean. How do I do that? Make you happy around me?”
“You need me to tell you?”
He cleared his throat. “I don’t need anything, but it would be much faster and save a lot of time if you just told me what to do.”
She pressed her lips together, staying silent.
“So, tell me,” he pressed.
She was too tired for these games. “Why does it even matter?”
“I don’t know why.” She felt him shrug against her. “But it does matter.”
Elziabeth said nothing.
“Elizabeth. You’re the only woman I’ve ever enjoyed being around. I don’t even hate speaking with you. You constantly say things that surprise me. Sometimes, I think I might even have grown to care about you. And I don’t say that lightly, because most of the time, I care about nothing.”
This wasn’t a declaration of love. It was a declaration of not-hate.
She hoped he was finished, but he wasn’t.
“I do. Care about you.” Caspian spoke as if he was trying to sort through emotions he didn’t quite fully understand himself. His voice grew irritated as he said, “Well say something then.”
She extricated herself from his arms and stood before him. “What do you want me to say?”
His tone was sharp. “Just tell me what to do to make you happy around me,” he said, growing angry.
“I can cover you head-to-toe in diamonds, whisper sweet nothings in your ear every evening, take you on an expensive trip somewhere, just you and me. What do I need to do to win your heart? To have it belong to me.”
Carefully, she asked, “Why? Why does it matter?”
“Because it does,” he snarled. “Tell me what I must do to warm your heart covered in ice.”
Her spine stiffened. “My icy heart, as you call it, the barriers that exist between us are not without reason.”
He stood up and took a step forward, closing the distance between them. “Then. Give me. The reason,” he said, his voice hard.
“You do not want to hear it.” She crossed her arms, taking a step back. “I promise you that.”
“Tell me,” he growled.
“Fine. For me to smile more, and seem less guarded around you, I would have to trust you. Feel safe with you.” She paused, letting her words hang in the air. “This relationship is purely transactional: I give you blood, and you ensure that I stay alive and give me gold every week.”
“Purely transactional?” he demanded, his voice low and dangerous.
Gesturing between them, she said, “We are just…” Heat rose to her cheeks. “Giving in to mutual physical attraction. Nothing more.” She paused and looked away.
Clearing her throat, she glanced back at him. “Giving in to temptation. Why must feelings be a part of it?”
“Because I want you. To care for me,” he growled.
She snorted. “I can’t force myself to fall in love with you.
I’m attracted to you, intrigued by you even.
But feelings of care and love? They can’t be forced.
” He scowled, and she leaned forward. “You want honesty, Caspian? You feed off me like a parasite and drink blood in front of me every night at dinner, yet you still have the nerve to ask me why I don’t feel safe with you?
Why I don’t trust you and bare my heart to you? ”
He flinched as if she had struck him.
She straightened her sleeves. “I enjoy our time together, but as long as you feed from me, the power dynamic between us will be as such. I’ll always be on my guard, always wondering if there will come a day when you come to ask me for blood, and your control snaps.”
Caspian looked like he wanted to say something, but she cut him off before he could open his mouth. “Let us not complicate things.” She paused. “Please? I’m enjoying my time with you. My heart doesn’t need to be a part of it.”
Caspian said nothing, his expression wooden.
After a moment of hesitation, she curtseyed deeply. “Thank you for a beautiful evening.”
She smiled politely and went back inside.
***
A few hours later, there was a knock at her door.
It was with great trepidation that she opened it. Caspian was there, his clothes sopping wet, and his hair was stringy and damp. “What if I don’t ask you for blood this week?”
“What? Why are you wet?” she asked, eyeing his soaked shirt suspiciously.
“I went for a long walk in the grounds. It started pouring right after you left,” he said, running his fingers through his damp hair. “What if I don’t come for blood this week?” he repeated.
She crossed her arms. “I would like that.”
“Good,” he said tersely.
She considered his words, then blurted, “Wait. I signed a contract that states I will give you blood every week in exchange for my protection. You are oath-bound to feed from me. I won’t have you say that I failed to uphold my end of the bargain.”
He looked at her strangely and was silent for a long moment. Finally, he frowned and said, “The contract states that you must offer me blood.” He paused. “Perhaps you offer, and I come to see you when I am not hungry, and my hunger has already been sated.”
“Why?” She tilted her face to his. “Why would you do that?”
“Because—” His gaze softened, vulnerability flickering across his features as he leaned in a fraction. “Because I cannot get you out of my head.”
She didn’t know how to make sense of the conflicting feelings in her heart, so she simply said, “Okay.” and opened the door wide.
***
Elizabeth was in a lovely mood the next day, on a high from her night with Caspian. They had slept together again last night, this time slow and romantic, and in satin sheets. Her heart was full of music, and she swayed contentedly, humming one of the songs that played last night in the ballroom.
When she came back to her chambers after her morning ride, she saw a stack of envelopes on her writing desk. One was her weekly letter from Charlotte, and the second was addressed to her in elegant calligraphy. When she turned it over, the wax seal was light blue with a bird embossed in the center.
The royal seal.
Curious, she hadn’t received any party invitations since she had fled court nearly two months ago. She opened the letter and read,
Dear Miss Elizabeth Beatrice Ashcroft,
You are cordially invited to dine with Her Majesty, Queen Rowena Ferdinand the First, on the second of September, with the ladies of the High Court of Rhodea. We dine at six in the evening, a formal affair.
Sincerely,
Her Royal Majesty’s personal scribe.
She was being summoned to Calyx.
She was not being included out of kindness. She was being called on for them all to sneer, gawk, and talk. She had left the court on purpose, happy with the reprieve. Now, she was being sucked back into the fold.
Her fingers fisted, crumpling the paper.
With a sour mood for the rest of the day, Elizabeth found herself in the library with a book in an effort to escape reality.
The windows offered a view of a dark forest, nearly hidden in a blanket of fog.
Rain plinked against the tall windows, and as she became more invested in her book, her breathing slowed, and she finally relaxed.
Suddenly, a grating sound began from the other side of the wall.
A muffled grunt and heavy breathing came from the hidden room.
A demon was trying to get into the library.