Chapter 46 Caspian’s Heart #2
Her heart sank to the floor. Here it was, the irrefutable proof that the angels would have been right to damn her soul if she had voluntarily stayed with such a beast.
In a horrified whisper, she asked, “How many?”
He looked up at the ceiling, as if counting.
“In this particular quest, I have ended nineteen houses of nobility. The daughters I tricked and invited into my castle in the same way as I did with you, but the sons, I simply killed in dark alleys.” He paused.
“Always many years apart, always in the shadows, so that no one would ever suspect me.”
“You murdered them.” Elizabeth sat taller; the meal in front of her lay forgotten.
“Not for sustenance, or sport, but out of nothing but spite.” She gave a humourless laugh.
“You are a horrible, wretched person. There is not a word foul enough to describe a male who would want to break a woman’s heart into pieces, only to make her more horrified before her end.
” She lifted her chin in defiance, daring him to try and justify it. “You disgust me.”
Elizabeth thought of white walls and braced herself against infiltration and attack, protecting her mind.
She tunnelled into the magic in her chest, preparing to fling it at him.
She glanced around the restaurant—at the candle flickering on their table, at the steak knife at her side she could send flying.
Her fingers tensed on the table, waiting for him to strike.
If he was going to kill her, she might not win, but she could hurt him as much as possible before he did. Pressure built in her chest, her magic aching to be released.
Caspian frowned, staring at her from across the table. He made no move towards her, and no attack on her mind came. He looked down, and a lock of black hair fell across his face.
Annoyed that he was being so calm, she hissed, “You’ve come to do it then?
To try and kill me, and for the crime of what?
Being born into a noble house? For having enough sense not to fall at the feet of a male as despicable as you?
” She leaned forward and said vehemently, “Try to hurt me then. You came to do it. So do it.”
Caspian looked up, their eyes locking. His eyes were green, and lined with silver. “I cannot.” His voice cracked as he said. “I cannot hurt a single hair on your head. Don’t you see what you’ve done? You’ve broken me.”
Elizabeth blinked. Unwilling to offer him an ounce of sympathy. Coldly, she said, “I will not apologize for hurting the feelings of my killer.”
“No,” he said loudly. “You don’t get it.
I can’t stomach the idea of hurting you now.
I find the idea of anything even making you sad abhorrent.
And when you left … I was a shadow of myself.
” He paused. “All I want is you in my castle again, smiling. Happy. With me. You have my word that I will not harm you. Not now. Not ever. So … come back with me.”
Elizabeth’s lips thinned in rage. “You just told me that you wanted, at least for a very long time, to kill me. So, I really don’t think I’ll be going anywhere with you.”
He brooded and crossed his arms, staring at the street outside. “That’s it then? When you finish eating, we will go our separate ways, never to speak again?” He scowled. “You’re crueler than I’ve given you credit for. Heart of ice, I name you.”
She knew he was only saying those things to try and hurt her. So, Elizabeth smiled grimly and said, “Call me whatever you like, Caspian.” She paused, raising her brows. “I will not return with you if you say the kindest things I’ve ever heard, or if you continue to insult me.”
Caspian surveyed her and said gruffly, “When you finish your meal, I suppose I’ll just leave then. If that’s really what you want.”
“You will?” she said skeptically. “You’ve really not come to hurt me?”
He tilted his head. “I cannot—even if I wanted to.”
“Good.” To that point, she cut another piece of venison and stabbed it with her fork. She hesitated, bringing it halfway to her mouth, but Caspian made no move towards her.
Every muscle in her body was tense, but he remained relaxed, lounging in his seat.
She narrowed her gaze in suspicion and watched him for the slightest movement as she slowly brought the fork to her mouth. Chewing and swallowing, she stared at him, waiting for the trick.
He seemed truthful when he said he would let her finish her meal.
She hesitated and found herself having to ask, “But if I may ask … why? Why target my family? We aren’t even royalty.”
He was silent for a while. Finally, he said, “I hate the nobility. All of them.” He paused.
“They murdered my father. The king of Israr executed him for the crime of being too poor to pay the hefty taxes of the time. I still remember the nobles laughing at me for trying to get my father’s head as it rolled across the ground. ” Caspian gave a hollow laugh.
“I reached for his head and tried to get to his body, as if I could put him together again. They held a knife to my throat and said if I touched his body, I’d face the same fate.
” Caspian’s nostrils flared, and he swallowed heavily.
“Then they made me clean it up. One of the king’s advisors made me clean up the blood of my father off the executioner’s platform.
And they laughed. I was a young man at the time, and I did it in grubby, commoner clothes with tears streaming down my face, and they laughed at me as if it were funny. ”
Lowering his chin, he gave a horrifying smile as he said, “I knew then that I would kill them. And if it was the last thing I did in this world, so be it.”
“So, you killed them,” Elizabeth surmised. “But that’s the nobility of Israr, what—”
“So then,” Caspian interrupted. “I made a deal with a demon so that my body could be used for slaughter and destruction, and I was given a new life. I only asked to be there, to watch the light leave their eyes, to revel in it. I killed them all, the king, and every single nobleman who was standing on the executioner’s platform that day. ”
“But then, they were still gone—my mother, my sister, and now my father, ripped from my heart. And I was alone. So I went back to our ramshackle farm, where I had lived my entire life, and sat there. The loneliness, the deafening silence in my childhood home, I remember it crushing me.”
Caspian tapped his fingers on the table.
“And then I got angry. My family should have never been poor, you see. Several centuries before my birth, they hunted a race of magical humans into near extinction, forcing my forebears to go into hiding. They were afraid of us. Afraid of what would happen if we revolted against the monarchs we served. Afraid of what would happen if we were … unleashed.”
Caspian scowled. “So I set my sights on something else, the ruling council of an age past, that ordered the slaughter of my people. That condemned me to a life of suffering when my family should have been rich as kings.”
His gaze softened. “And you, Elizabeth, are the last name I’ve been searching for. Maximilian Ashcroft was the last of the twenty nobles who came to a meeting held between every kingdom in Asteria and voted in favour of the slaughter of the Seraphine.”
Elizabeth swallowed. “An interesting history lesson. But, even if that’s true, I didn’t order the slaughter of anybody. My father didn’t, and my grandfather didn’t. You’re chasing ghosts that are over five hundred years old. Why even tell me this at all? Why now?”
“Because I’m glad of my quest for vengeance … because it brought me to you.” Caspian’s eyes were sincere, and he appeared like he thought this was a perfectly normal thing to say. “I wanted you to know the truth of it all.”
She recoiled, and when she spoke, her words were sharp. “There is nothing polite that I can say to any of that.”
“Fine.” Caspian stood, regaining some of his usual arrogance. He pulled a handful of coins out of his pocket and placed them on the table, straightening them into neat stacks, as if he couldn’t stand to have any of his belongings out of order.
He was quiet for a moment. Finally, Caspian said, “I care for you, more than I have ever cared for another. I would protect you till the end of time, and you would want for nothing if you came back with me.”
Their eyes locked for a moment. He searched them one final time. “Is that still a no, then?”
Her expression softened as she said, “I’m afraid it is.”
“Fine.” Caspian frowned down at her, and she drew back. He looked angry at her refusal.
She prepared her mental and physical shields, waiting for him to strike. Fear knotted in her chest, and she grasped at her magic, bracing herself for him to strike her.
Scowling, he said, “I formally release you from your vows to me. I see the terms of our agreement met. I will not seek payment for failing to honour them.”
She blinked. She felt whatever chord in the universe between them break. The shredding and dissolution of their agreement, her freedom from their bargain.
To her utter shock, he bent and laid a kiss upon her brow. His lips were familiar, comforting. She wanted nothing more than to lean into their warmth, but she held herself stiffly, knowing if she leaned in, even a fraction, she would be lost forever.
“You undo me.” He spoke the words into her hair. Then softer still, so soft she almost couldn’t hear the words he whispered next, “I hope this is not goodbye, and one day, you come back to me.”
Too stunned to speak, she was frozen as he retreated and melted into darkness.
“Goodbye, Elizabeth.” The words sounded in her ear, like a caress upon the wind. When she looked behind her, he was already gone.
The server didn’t say anything, but accepted the payment left on the table and handed her a large bag with her leftovers. Meals he had insisted on paying for.
Leaving the restaurant, she couldn’t decide if she wanted to find him and apologize or if she never wanted to see him again.
So, when she headed home, she took a longer way, taking many turns and side streets.
If Caspian, or anyone from his household were following her, she didn’t want them to find out where she lived if they didn’t already know.
She looked behind her twice, but no one was there.
When she made it home, she stoked her fire and collapsed on the sofa chair by the window. Caspian would be fine, she assured herself. He would find a new mistress in a week, and the next time he went “hunting” with Asmodeus, he would forget all about her.
She stared off into space.
There was nothing in the contract that said he couldn’t harm her after their three months. And … he would never have to pay her if she were dead. A nearly fatal oversight, and one she was surprised she had missed.
A means to an end.
Revenge upon her ancestor.
That’s why he had picked her.
She had always wondered. She stared out at the night sky, as pieces of the last few months slowly clicked together.