Chapter 21 #2
Pulling me close, he kissed me fiercely, his tongue invading my mouth.
My skin felt oddly tight around my bones as he held me in place.
I rocked to and fro against his arousal, the movement driving us both toward the edge.
When he finally released me, I kissed him from his lips to the hollow of his throat.
Running my tongue along his collarbone, I paused to take his skin between my teeth.
He chuckled. “Wicked girl. I wouldn’t be surprised if you had grown fangs after all this time.”
I grinned, landing another kiss on his lips. “Neither would I.”
His fingers trailed between my thighs, teasing me until I cried out for more.
He acquiesced without a second thought, slipping inside of me.
I gasped, gripping his shoulders as I rode him.
His fingers dug into the nape of my neck, slamming me down as quickly as he thrusted into me.
My skin reddened where he touched me, his fingertips leaving marks where he grabbed me by the breast and then hips.
His thumb rocked against my center, dragging me toward ecstasy.
I cried out, sagging against him as he pumped his hips against me, finding his own release.
Hours later, I lay silent and still as a wraith in his arms, his breathing steady in my ear. He’d drifted off so easily, whereas I remained wide awake, staring at the wall. The niggling voice in the back of my mind scolded me for not saying it back.
The nerve of me, an ungrateful peasant girl from the Outlands who did not return the affections of the godsdamn King of Valen.
After all he’d done for me. I squeezed my eyes shut, trying fruitlessly to drive out the guilt.
I was indebted to Mordric for his kindness, for the safety that he offered me that no one else could.
And I cared for him so deeply. But it was too soon, the words carrying too much promise.
I sighed. There was no way I would get any sleep tonight.
I glanced over at him, sound asleep as if he had not a care in the world.
Steeling myself, I wriggled out of his arms and whispered a message into my hands.
A silver light blossomed from my cupped palms, glowing like a small moon before drifting through the closed door.
I rose as quietly as I could, wrapping myself in a dressing gown.
Slipping through the door, I padded in my slippers down the winding corridors toward the library, where I folded myself into an armchair.
The fire had long since died down, but I stared into the crackling embers, losing myself in their orange glow.
My thoughts drifted to my parents, their kisses when they thought Jem and I were otherwise occupied, the way that Mama used to run her thumb along the strong line of Papa’s jaw, or how he used to bring her trinkets from his hunts.
Small things, like wildflowers or a bushel of wild strawberries that were only found deep in the woods. To her though, they were treasures.
There had been plenty of opportunity for things to turn sour, raising two children in the Outlands with hardly a copper to their name, but they never raised their voices against each other, never stole glances at anyone else when the other wasn’t looking.
Our cottage was more peaceful than most in Wealdstone even though there were five of us, including Gran, squeezed between its walls.
But perhaps it hadn’t always been perfect.
Perhaps, I thought with a niggling feeling in my heart, they hadn’t always been on the same page.
I wished I could talk to my mother. I wondered if Niamh had told Adele when she realized she was falling in love with Maxence.
If she had asked her what it was supposed to feel like.
If Adele had answered with stories of her own.
The bitter tang of envy on my tongue made me feel all the more guilty.
“Finn?”
My eyes flicked toward the doorway. Niamh stood framed in it, her hair folded into the headscarf she wore every night, and her forehead creased.
“You came.”
“I did.”
“Thank you,” I said. “I’m sorry to wake you.”
She sank into the chair opposite me. “Are you alright?”
I nodded slowly. “I’m leaving for Hollybrook in a few hours.”
“The university?”
“Yes.”
“That’s exciting.”
I smiled half-heartedly. “I suppose. But that’s not why I asked you to come.”
“Is this about Ewan?” she said. “Maxence told me you’re still looking for answers.”
I winced. I should have known that Maxence was relaying things directly back to her. “No,” I said finally. “That no longer matters.”
“Really?” she asked, her brows knitting together.
“I—” I hesitated. I hadn’t forgotten about my argument with Mordric, or the skeletons in the cellar. I didn’t intend to. But there was too much going on all at once, and I needed to focus on the journey ahead of me. “Mordric promised me that his best people were on it, and I trust him.”
“Of course,” she said softly. “If that’s what you think is best.”
“It is,” I confirmed, somewhat unconvincingly. “Listen, I wanted to apologize for what I said when we argued. And for not doing so sooner.”
“I’m sorry too,” she replied quietly. “You were right. I was jealous.”
“I shouldn’t have said that,” I insisted. “Or looked into your mind without permission. I was just so desperate to escape my old life, and I felt like I had so much to prove.”
She smiled softly. “I don’t hold it against you, okay? In fact, I’m really glad you asked me to meet you here. I’ve missed you so much.”
“I’ve missed you, too.”
“You have?” she asked. “I assumed you had plenty of fascinating vampire friends keeping you company these days. Meanwhile, I had to settle for Nathalie, who I can never shake off, by the way. I’m just about ready to strangle her.”
A laugh escaped me. “Trust me, I prefer your company a thousand times over to most of the people at court. I have made one friend who I think you’d really like. I’ll invite you both to supper when I return. If that’s something you’d be interested in, of course.”
“I’d be honored.”
“Listen,” I said. “There’s something else I wanted to talk to you about before I leave.”
“Oh?”
I picked at a thread that had come loose from the armchair. “I always thought it was admirable of you to take on work up here while also taking care of your mother.”
“You would do the same.”
I smiled halfheartedly. “Perhaps, but I don’t have any family left. Except for you and Adele, that is. So if it’s alright with you, I’d like to help.”
Niamh straightened, eyeing my warily. “What do you mean?”
“Let me be clear,” I said, holding up a hand. “I know that you can take care of yourself, and I have no doubt that I’ll see your name on an extravagant storefront in the Garment District in no time. This has nothing to do with you.”
“Er, okay,” she said.
“I just mean,” I continued, “that Adele is practically my second mother, and it kills me to see her suffer. So I’m offering to get her a spot on Dr. Murrows’s patient list and to cover the costs of any and all treatment.”
“The Court Physician?”
“The one and only. We spent quite a lot of time together after the, er, biting incident.”
She shuddered. “Maxence told me.”
I nearly laughed. “I assumed he would. Anyway, that’s when the idea came to me. I already asked the doctor, and he agreed.”
She tapped a finger against her chin. “If I didn’t have to pay for her treatments, not that any of them have ever worked, I could put more money into my savings for the shop. Maybe even rent a room.”
The embers crackled in the fireplace as she mulled it over. Outside I could hear a chorus of songbirds, signaling that a new day was beginning. A breeze wafted in through the cracked window, rustling the tight curls that framed her round face.
“You’re a good friend,” she said, breaking the silence.
I beamed at her. “Is that a yes?”
She scurried across the room, squeezing onto the arm of my chair where she wrapped her arms around me in a suffocating hug. “That’s a yes.”
I didn’t budge, inhaling the scent of the sandalwood oil that glossed her curls. It reminded me of the room I had called home for so many years. I squeezed her back.
“I can’t believe you’re going all the way to Hollybrook,” she said. “You’ll miss the King terribly, won’t you? It’s so difficult to spend time apart from the people we love.”
Love.
My stomach twisted. Of course I should miss him. I would. So why hadn’t I been able to say I love you back? And why did I feel ill at the idea of admitting it to Niamh?
“I suppose I have to go pack,” I said abruptly, standing.
“Of course,” she conceded. “Do you need any help?”
I shook my head. “That’s kind of you, but no.”
I glanced toward the door. We were alone, but still, I dropped my voice to a whisper. “Listen,” I said. “There’s something happening in Valnar. Something I don’t quite understand.”
Her eyes rounded. “What do you mean?”
I took her hand. “I just mean, stay close to Maxence, alright? Especially if you go into the city.”
“But Ewan is dead.”
I recalled the image of the monster I had conjured in my nightmares. “I know,” I replied. “I’m just not certain that it’s over.”
“How is that possible?”
“I’m not sure,” I whispered. “Just promise me that you’ll be careful. Please?”
Concern creased her features. She held my gaze for a moment, her hand squeezing my own.
“Okay,” she said. “I promise.”