Chapter 15 #2
Once back in my room, I got into the bath by myself, sat there and cried softly for Abbey, my mind imagining everything she might be enduring.
I wept over the changes I’d experienced in the last few months.
Had it really only been that long? I remembered my human life and how slowly time seemed to pass.
Maybe that’s why I would live so long, because things moved faster here.
Maybe Witches needed a couple of hundred years to live the equivalent of one normal human life.
In this world, joy came as quick as a clap of thunder and pain swooped down like a lightning bolt.
Only this morning I believed I could become the leader that Doran and Manus believed me to be.
Now I didn’t know. I’d been stupid. Again.
I’d risked my friend’s life without thinking.
I hadn’t seen the depth of evil my sister held in her heart—and I took Abbey right to her.
I’d taken too many risks with those around me. Tynan was bound to me and would be miserable when I died, be it in the final showdown with the evil half-sister or two centuries from now of old age. Either way, I had allowed him to sacrifice what was left of his soul to me, and I cried for him, too.
I pulled my knees to my chest and stared into the water.
It stilled and I could see my face in the soft golden reflection that the candles cast on the surface.
My eyes were still bright as pure gold medallions.
No redness or puffiness that would have accompanied the tears when I was more human.
In those eyes, my eyes, I could see my past reflected on the surface of the bathwater—my human parents, my friends, and Manus in his cat form.
I could see the joy of the Kith as they were made aware that my powers had awakened, could see the hope in their faces…
I hadn’t been on WildLand for the announcement but I could see the reactions now, visions in the water. I could see the anger in Feldema. I could see her evil.
Then the vision shifted. I saw my mother—my real mother—desperately making potions, preparing to hide us.
She was lifting a long blade over a cauldron in the process of casting.
She turned it over me as I lay in a makeshift cradle in a cave.
She tenderly made a tiny cut on the bottom of my foot with her blade.
It was made of gold, the handle carved of wood and the blade decorated with Celtic symbols.
She added the tiny drop of blood from my foot to the brew.
She did the same with the blond child that would grow into Feldema.
Then she cast the spell, chanting the incantation over and over.
I could see the hope in her eyes for both of us. She’d known she was having twins according to the prophecy, and she had a plan. I had to accept it. I had learned quickly around here that nothing was as it seemed at first glance, and there was a deeper meaning behind almost everything in this life.
Anger flared back as I thought of the events of this evening.
I had to fix this problem I’d created with Abbey and still be what my mother, Doran, and the Kith believed me to be.
I didn’t know how. I could only be myself and hold fast to the knowledge that I was more human than Feldema—and that was key.
Leaving my father and Abbey on that island was not something I could do.
If I was to be the salvation of the Kith, then I was going to have to do it the way I knew to be right in my heart.
If I left them to fate, to chance, I would fail them. If I failed those closest to me, how could I lead a large civilization and reunite it with humanity? No. There was no question what I had to do and why. I had to be true to my human nature, true to my honor, true to the birthright.
My face replaced the reflections of the past and I was looking only at myself in the watery mirror. Honor. I had to live my life with honor. Abbey would be counting on me. If my father were still alive, he needed me too. I couldn’t leave them to become bargaining chips in a political arena.
I ran all sorts of scenarios through my head, trying to find the flaws, trying not to think of Abbey.
The original plan would be harder now that the others knew most of it, but I had left out enough detail when I told the story earlier that I thought I could still get to Thule.
But even with plotting and planning both the trip to the island and the battle to come with Feldema, my thoughts kept going back to Abbey.
I would not cry again. I had to be stronger, smarter.
Keena. His voice almost sounded weak in my head. Keena?
I’m sorry, Tynan. I have to. I have to kill Feldema or die trying. There is no other way. I got out of the tub and started to dry to go to him.
You have never asked me what ma guerrière means. Do you know?
I emerged from the bathroom and headed to the bed where he was lying, fully clothed.
“No. I know it’s French. I like the way you say it.
It makes me think you’re proud of me.” I crawled up next to him and snuggled against his chest. It hurt to think he could ever be proud of the weakness I had shown with so many tears.
He smiled. “Yes, that is what I mean to do. It means ‘little warrior.’” He was quiet for a moment.
“That night at the castle, when you were standing in the moonlight, Keena… That moment I knew I would be bound to you forever. I knew you would bring me nothing but trouble and I knew you would have great responsibilities. I understood those responsibilities would bring you danger and would bring others to your bed. I gave you what was left of me as a man, knowing all this. Knowing that the shell of a man I had become could only be saved by you, not destroyed.”
“I would break that spell if I could, Tynan, you know that. I let you give your oath too quickly. I wasn’t fair. I was weak,” I said into his chest.
“Our current situation makes me very happy, Keena. I will help you in any way that I’m able. I’m not asking to break my bond to you. But you must know this—if you go to Thule, I cannot help you.”
Guess he knew me pretty well. “Reading my thoughts?”
“You could say so.” He kissed the top of my head.
“I need not read your mind to know your heart. You need to know that I can’t go to Thule, even though I wish to help you.
My soul is no longer pure since Nessum cursed us to feed on humans.
” I felt him tighten against me. “It caused us to lose the purity that saved us from him to begin with. If I go to Thule, Nessum would claim my soul at the sight of me.” He kissed me again, brushing my hair with his hand.
“I would move heaven and earth for you, give myself up to you for an eternity…but I can’t set foot on Thule.
He would use me against you. I’ve spent centuries keeping my soul from him. I—”
“I understand. You don’t have to go there.” I meant it both literally and figuratively.
We lay quietly for a while with him holding me, the smell of the forest on his skin.
Tynan. I kissed his skin with my lips and spoke his name with my heart.
Yes, my love?
I’m sorry to cause you such pain.
“It’s pain you give me, but I’ll surely have gray hair before long.”