Chapter 34 Jaxon
Jaxon
Rumor was today would be the final day of trials and that was why they’d changed the format. We did calisthenics as a group in the morning, but it felt more like busy work until they announced that we’d have physical assessments alone.
I almost wished we’d done something more intense to burn off the anxious energy of my beast. It was just past noon, and the heat of the day was brutal as it beat down on us while we waited our turn to be called back into the medical area set up near the far side of the field.
Most of us had found places in the shade, passing the time by chatting amongst ourselves.
Tisiphone still hadn’t showed.
She’s not coming.
I clenched my jaw as I listened to the frustration of my wolf. Ever since we’d left her this morning, he’d been worked up and pacing. He got like this sometimes—pretty much every time we were forced to leave Tisiphone and carry on with our lives like she wasn’t the central part of it.
She’ll be here, I tried to soothe him. But even I had my doubts. How many times had she been skittish and run? Every time things got too tough.
She hadn’t always been this way, though.
I thought back to when we were pups. That day Lisa had us learn to fight with our magic. Until then, I’d only coaxed it to life in helpful ways. A shock of new growth. A boost to a wilted flower. Healing decayed tree roots from the inside out.
Lisa told us to draw on our anger. To reach inside and discover where our darker nature lay. I’d only been there a month, and though I’m sure they had their suspicions since I was the only one who never had visitors, I didn’t want anyone to know the pain I carried.
Or to discover the vast emptiness in me.
But that first touch of my true power, and the anger that I could use to fuel it, was terrifying. I didn’t hurt anyone. But I could’ve. Easily.
That day wasn’t one of my proudest. An alpha wolf who ran. And it was Tisiphone who chased me. Right up into the trees, even though she was scared of heights. Even though she should’ve been frightened of me and what I could do. Of who I could be. The villain I could easily become.
“Aren’t you scared?” I’d asked.
“Never when I’m with you.” I could still see her soft smile. Still feel her hand as she laced her fingers through mine, and wrapped them around my heart.
Everything I’d learned, and the male I’d become, was all because of that brave little witch.
You need to trust that she’ll be okay.
What about when she isn’t? What happens when she needs you and you don’t show up?
We’ve been over this. You’ll only push her away. Like the other day.
She needed to hear the truth, he snarled at me. And she handled it. You’re the one that doesn’t understand our mate.
When it came to her, he always thought he knew best. But he was acting out his insecurities. She wasn’t abandoning us.
I had to trust that she was all right. That she could handle herself, without me. What good was I as a mate if I couldn’t give her what she craved?
Right now, she wanted the freedom to prove herself to her family.
I didn’t like it, but I had to remain steadfast.
This is a stupid, dangerous human plan.
One of the healers stepped from the tent. Everyone stopped talking as he checked his clipboard.
“Gabby Theow,” he called.
A thin woman with long black braids stood at the sound of her name and headed to the tent. That had to be number nineteen or twenty. Less than a quarter of the warlocks and witches gathered here today.
Gabby went into the tent.
The talking around me resumed again.
Ahmad leaned against the post to my right. “So… Alpha. You don’t smell mated.”
And you smell like you bathe in shit. My wolf growled at him.
Amir laughed. “I’m going to need a nap this afternoon to make up for the lack of sleep last night. Did anyone else hear all those feral moans?”
Those sounds weren’t for you.
I growled louder, which just caused the two hyenas to laugh harder, and I seriously contemplated smashing their thick skulls together.
“Don’t listen to them.” Gentry sat on the dirt in the shade, rolling a smooth pebble between his fingers. “They’re just jealous they haven’t met their own mates yet.”
“Didn’t he meet her when we were like six, though? How dumb did they have to be to not know something like that?” Amir elbowed his brother.
“Bro, don’t judge kids.” Ahmad sobered up a bit. “Not cool.”
“Sorry.” He hung his head. “I didn’t mean to touch on old wounds, Alpha.”
I’m going to kill them both.
I pinched the bridge of my nose, trying to tune the twins out, and walked a distance away.
The merciless sun heated the earth under my feet.
I leaned into my power, feeling the richness of the soil and life that thrived there to help steady me.
Flies buzzed in the distance. I caught bits of others’ conversations, and the pointed looks cast my way.
If I was a lesser male, it might’ve stung. But I knew who I was. And I trusted the earth beneath me knew too. It was only Tisiphone I worried about.
Like always.
This is foolish. It goes against nature. My wolf snarled and paced. She said she’d be here. She isn’t. Either she doesn’t want to come. Or can’t.
My wolf was making my head spin.
I tried to ignore him, too.
“They should at least let us leave and come back since they’re calling all the females before the males.” Amir sighed as he sat on the dirt beside Gentry.
“It’s a good thing you haven’t found your mate yet if you’re still complaining about ladies first.” Gentry pocketed the pebble and searched for another, no doubt saving them for his own mate.
But I didn’t smile at that thought for long.
Something about what Amir said had me looking around the field with new eyes.
What if she needs you?
About twenty had gone in.
All women, like Amir said.
“Are any of you keeping count of the witches they’ve taken back?” I spun to face the males of my coven.
“I haven’t been keeping count, no…” Gentry trailed off, glancing up with a worried expression. “Why?”
“Twenty went in.” I looked around the field, wondering how I’d missed it. “Twenty so far.”
“And it’s been hours.” Amir moaned. “We’re going to be waiting out here until midnight.”
“No, you idiot.” I pulled him up. “Twenty went in. None have come out. Take your brother and go tell Alpha Kera.”
“Tell her what?” Amir stuttered as I shoved him into Ahmad and prayed that it was a mistake.
But my instincts told me otherwise.
I only hoped Tisiphone would understand.
You’ve been protecting her from yourself for far too long. Trust that she’s strong enough to handle your nature.
She’ll hate us for this. I started jogging. It could be years before she’s ready to come around again.
It’s a risk we’ll have to take.
“Let Kera and Jareth know he’s going rogue.” Gentry was already on his feet, chasing after me as my wolf struggled for control. “Oh, gods. Please don’t do anything stupid.”
Fate paired the two of you. My beast shone in my eyes as I ran, urged on by the anxious feeling in my chest and following the tug of our soul toward Tisiphone. That means there’s a reason she has an Alpha as a mate.