Chapter 37
Trish
We traveled for days as our wolves, hunting when needed, bathing in creeks, and lying together at night.
Our wolves were glad to take over for once.
They acted like they’d been separated for a lifetime instead of a few hours, but wolves lived in the moment.
So maybe they were just making each moment count, carefree and happy to enjoy each other’s company.
I’d spoken with my sisters telepathically before we left, but the two of them were eager to get rid of me and return to Cerberus. They promised Mom would be all right.
That left me free to worry about everything else. The past few days felt like a blur of chaos, but, as always, Jaxon’s presence was the constant in my life.
And I could finally see that.
The hours we traveled gave me plenty of time alone in the back of my wolf’s mind to think about how it’d all gone so wrong and speculate on what the future might look like.
I still don’t understand. Why didn’t you let me know he was our mate?
I tried. For years. You didn’t listen.
I’m sorry.
I don’t blame you. She sighed. It’s your silly human brain’s fault.
If I’d had control of my own eyes, I would’ve rolled them. But as annoying as it was, she was right. I’d thought I was doing everyone else a favor by burying my own wants and desires, but all I really did was hurt myself.
In denying my heart, I denied who I was. My fate. My intuition. My magic. My spark. No wonder everything had been so messed up for so many years.
It was as if my soul had started glitching and screaming at me to notice what I was doing. I literally ignored all the warning signs until my magic had no other choice but to act up.
And I hurt my one true mate in the process.
Do you think he’ll ever forgive me?
My wolf was oddly silent for a moment, no doubt remembering how Jaxon’s wolf had already tried to mount her, and she’d only stopped him because I’d begged her to give me one last chance to let Jaxon—the human—walk away. He deserved the opportunity to find someone less messed up.
I said I was healing, not healed, okay?
Jaxon has always forgiven you, she finally said. But you need to forgive yourself.
It wasn’t hard to do that when I saw the way Jaxon looked at me. The hungry desire behind his wolf’s eyes. He shifted into human form just as we crossed into his territory. With a feral growl, he lifted me into his arms.
My wolf wasted no time in giving me back my skin. Good luck.
I’d been in Cadejo territory years ago when we attended the celebration after Jaxon took over the Alpha position. They’d had a party in the streets, but Jaxon headed in early with us, where we’d all enjoyed a quiet dinner. I hadn’t seen much of the territory then, and I didn’t see much now.
Jaxon moved with a shifter’s speed, and the earth seemed to clear a path for him as he raced us to his house.
Later, I’d learn more about this pack. If I was to be his Luna, then I owed that to him and the shifters I’d be helping to care for. I tried not to be nervous about what that all entailed.
For Jaxon, I could do anything.
Except right now, I could only hang onto him for dear life as he kicked open the front door to the hacienda that would be my new home.
“Get out,” Jaxon’s voice was cold.
I turned my head, seeing his Beta, Victor, and I gave the old shifter a short, embarrassed wave.
“Thank the gods.” Victor smiled as he came out of the office.
I almost told him to watch his language, but Jaxon took the stairs two at a time, leaving Victor to shut the front door.
Then I was bouncing naked onto a soft bed of downy blankets that smelled of Jaxon’s earthy scent. I sniffed again, inhaling as much as I could.
No females, my wolf said approvingly.
But Jaxon didn’t join me.
He paced at the foot of his bed, dragging his hand through his hair and looking so much like a caged wild animal that my heart broke for him.
I sat up, reaching out my hand. “Jaxon… Come here?”
“You almost died.” His eyes blazed with fury. “I almost lost you. After everything we’ve been through. Before we could even… You don’t understand…”
He started to pace again as his words and sentences came out fractured. His shoulders seemed to broaden with each step.
“I’m sorry,” I whispered, feeling lost on how to fix this. “I do understand.”
“No. You don’t.” I’d never seen Jaxon look so crazed. “You wanted to know what could drive someone like Vincent to do what he did? Do you know what I would’ve done to the world if you weren’t in it?”
I swallowed hard. “That’s not true. You’re a good wolf. A good Alpha. You could never—”
“If you want to test that theory, try it again.” His tone left no room for argument.
I smiled as I gave a little shake of my head. “I don’t have a death wish, so I won’t.”
“Good,” he growled. But if anything, the tension radiating from him thickened.
“What are you doing?” I gasped as he grabbed my ankle, dragging me to the edge of the bed.
“What I should’ve done years ago.” He spread my legs, baring me to him before lowering to his knees. “Taking what’s mine.”
Then his mouth was on my center, and I forgot how to speak except in little moans of pleasure as he licked and sucked on my clit. His strong jaw pressed between my thighs, which quivered around him as he drew out each stroke. The sensations built hard and fast.
My world threatened to shatter. Just a few more of that movement and I’d—
Jaxon tore his face away.
I cried out at the loss of him as he stood, wiping his mouth.
“I want to hear you beg for it.” There was a dangerous gleam in his eyes that I should’ve paid more attention to.
“Please, Jaxon.” I wasted no time, pushing up to my elbows as my bottom lip jutted out. “I want you. Please.”
He growled as he reached between my legs again, where I ached and burned for him. I panted as his fingers teased with knowing touches, as if that one night in the woods was all it took for him to learn every part of me.
Thinking about the woods, about our time together in the tent, had me rocking against his hand, as sparks gathered low in my core.
He took me right there again.
Right to the edge.
“Not like that.” Jaxon growled as he pulled his hand away. “I want you on your knees.”
I was a shaking mess as I nodded, strung tight with need, but some primal part of me knew Jaxon needed this more.
Slowly, I climbed off the bed and sank to the floor, looking up at him as I did.
The darkness in his eyes did something to me.
I was bold as I fisted the base of his thick cock, wetting my lips as I stared at my mate. “Please, Jaxon. Fuck me.”
“Open those pretty lips,” he commanded.
I obeyed.
His fist was in the back of my hair, guiding me forward, as I teased and tested the length of him with my tongue. He didn’t push me, but I felt the restraint in his touch. His cock pulsed as I tried to swallow as much as I could, learning from him like he’d learned from me.
And the ache in my core kept building.
I sucked him down deeper, reaching between my thighs to touch myself and relieve some of this pressure.
Jaxon pulled my mouth away with another feral growl. “No.” He stared into my eyes. “Tonight, you do what I say. Now crawl up on the bed and present.”
I nodded. I could do that.
My entire body flushed, burning with shame, but throbbing with want.
It’s okay, my wolf urged me on.
If I was in heat—which would probably happen sooner rather than later if we kept up like this—then presenting wouldn’t feel so vulnerable.
But I trusted Jaxon.
I pushed through my trepidation as I crawled onto the bed before him, then lowered my face to the mattress, pushing my backside in the air.
He kept me there waiting.
The seconds seemed to stretch forever, adding to the anticipation, as I waited for his next command.
“Use your fingers and spread yourself,” he said.
I reached between my legs, catching sight of him stroking his cock, as I did what he asked.
“Look how pretty you are.” He growled. “So wet. You’re dripping for me.”
“For you,” I echoed, feeling my heart beat erratically in my chest.
“For me.” The bed sank under his weight as he climbed behind me. “I’m going to mark you everywhere before I claim you. Got that? And I’m going to fuck you so hard you never forget that you’re mine.”
“Please,” I cried, begging. Not even sure what I was asking for now. Just whatever he wanted to give. I wanted all of it.
He lined himself up at my entrance, dragging the silken head through my slick, and I lowered my hand.
Jaxon stopped.
“I didn’t say to move.” His growl curled my toes. “Hold yourself open. Prove how much you want me.”
At his command, I pressed my hips up higher, arching my back and straightening my fingers so he knew how ready I was.
Without warning, he slid in with a solid thrust that tore a cry of pleasure from my lips.
He pulled out slowly.
And then he slammed in again.
My body stretched to accommodate him, already trained from his girth. It was a good thing too, because his pace was brutal. Punishing.
I welcomed it.
My legs were already shaking again as Jaxon gathered the hair at the base of my neck, leaning back to pull me against his chest as he continued to thrust.
His fingers gripped my hip possessively, digging in hard enough to bruise, as if he couldn’t let me go.
I rocked back against him, trying to match his pace, even as I felt my energy waning, and knew this was a losing battle. I planned to go down fighting, though.
What a beautiful way to collapse.
“Mine.” Jaxon’s teeth bit into my shoulder. Not hard enough to draw blood, but enough to leave another bruise.
He wasn’t playing about those marks.
I hadn’t realized I’d like this so much, but it was Jaxon, so of course I did.
“You’re mine.” He traced his teeth up the side of my neck and I bared it, giving him all of me and exposing my weak, vulnerable spots to the predator that held me in his arms.
My fingers were still trapped between us, and I shamelessly used my palm to add to the friction, as Jaxon wrenched my head to the side and his lips crashed into my lips.
He slowed his pace, drawing out the delicious torture in long, languid strokes as he set to work on stealing my soul through that kiss.
My lips were crushed and swollen as he pulled back, staring at me.
His wolf flashed in his eyes. “Say you’re my mate.”
I matched his next thrust with one of my own. “Are you going to keep teasing me all night or make it official?”
There was my Jaxon again in that smirk. The grin that should’ve warned me not to play games.
He pulled my hand away. Then his rough fingers were on my clit. I cried out as he increased his pace, clinging to his forearms to keep me upright.
His teeth sank into the junction of my neck and shoulder, hitting bone, and the scent of blood mixed with our sex pheromones.
My wolf howled as my climax ripped through me, throwing me over the edge without mercy. I shattered around him.
Jaxon didn’t let go.
His mark burned its way straight to my soul as he cried out, releasing inside of me. The world seemed to shake with the force of the impact, of his power, his soul, crashing into mine.
A soft glow carried me down as warmth flooded my chest and our bond stretched between us.
I could feel him. He was inside me. Physically, and everywhere else.
My heart. My soul. My head. Who I was. Jaxon made up so many of my memories that I didn’t even have to share them with him. He was already there. Always.
But now I could see through his eyes.
Us laughing as children. The way I smiled.
Stolen moments and secrets. Watching the earth bloom and decay as the years passed us by.
The dark gray of the funeral. The pain of me releasing him from his vow.
His anger. It burned like mine. Emptiness that echoed my own.
The tears we’d cried alone. Years and years of longing and growing.
All he did for me. All I tried to do for him.
The worry. His fear. My fear. Our pride.
The bliss of this moment in knowing we were finally where we were meant to be all along.
Complete as our bond slipped into place.
I floated down on Jaxon’s embrace, nuzzled safely in his arms, as the two of us clung to each other. Our second chance. The one where we got to do things right.
A lone tear rolled down my cheek despite the smile plastered on my face. That earth-shaking orgasm combined with the merging of our souls had been so intense that a part of me worried I’d never feel something this special again.
“You know I can hear your thoughts now, right?” Jaxon chuckled.
I stilled in his arms. “I wasn’t—”
“Relax.” He kissed my forehead. “Give me a second to recoup, and then I’ll top that orgasm with round two. We’ve got a lot of years to make up for.”