Chapter Twenty
Benji
On a normal day, Benji had a pretty good internal clock.
His body knew what time it was when he woke up, even without an alarm, and it knew exactly when he wanted to go to bed.
But ever since he had been locked in that fucking basement, he had no idea about anything anymore.
He couldn’t tell up from down, left from right.
He really had no idea where he was besides somewhere in New Jersey.
He didn’t know what day it was. He didn’t know the time.
He didn’t know the weather. It was all extremely disorienting.
There wasn’t a time in his life when he thought that he would miss the snow.
But he did. Boy did he. He would do just about anything to see it again.
But would he be able to?
That was the question that kept rearing its ugly head at Benji.
Sawyer told him he would get him out of there but where the fuck was he at?
Since Benji had been locked up, the guy hadn’t left his side for more than an hour, tops.
He had no idea how long it had been, but he knew it was longer than an hour.
Was he okay? Benji wasn’t in the best headspace when the fucker Milo and his stooges came down to take Sawyer away.
Without really trying, he had done what Sawyer had asked.
He asked him to play the part that he was still delusional and it worked.
But at that moment, Benji didn’t need to act.
He truly felt hopeless and filled with despair and it sent him to a dark place.
A place he was still struggling to find his way back from but he doubted he would any time soon.
Not until he was out of there and he had some answers…
The answers would surely break his heart.
There was really no good resolution, no matter which way he looked at it. On one hand, his sister was (maybe) a liar. She was doing nefarious things behind his back. Behind all of their backs. She was stealing money from people and keeping it for herself.
On the other, his dad knew about everything that Andi was doing and just let it happen and was even covering for her. He set Benji up for failure with that mission. And for all Benji knew, the mission itself was bunk from the start and he just set Benji and Spence up for failure.
But the more he thought about both of those options, neither one of them made any sense to him.
What would Andi need all that money for?
She didn’t do anything that warranted needing it.
And why would his dad put both Spence and him in danger?
Spence was his brother. Benji was his son.
He knew that he always preferred Andi, simply because she was smart and resourceful.
And sure, Benji had fucked up that one job but they all had messed up at some point, right?
He knew that his dad still cared for him…
There was no way he would do that to him.
Right?
The longer Benji sat there and thought about it, which was quite a while considering he had nothing better to do, the worse he felt.
Or perhaps that was just his infection that was making him feel like shit.
It was probably that. He still had a fever.
Sweat coated his body yet he would shiver randomly since he was still somewhat cold.
Benji was just thankful he had pushed past that bout of hypothermia he was battling.
And that was all thanks to Sawyer Without him, he would surely be dead.
But that brought him back to the question of where the hell that guy was?
No one had checked on him for hours. He was hungry. Thirsty as hell. Unwell. He was pretty sure he had to piss again too and he would rather be dead than piss himself.
Benji’s gaze shifted over to that poor excuse of a mattress and he spotted the half-drunk bottle of water sitting on top of it.
For quite a while, he sat there and thought about how he could, one, get there and two, open it and drink it.
It would be a lot of maneuvering but at that juncture, he really didn’t have anything better to do besides try.
What could it hurt? They all seemed to have forgotten about him anyway.
The only parts of his feet that were currently touching the ground were his toes.
At least it was something. Engaging his core, he managed to pull himself forward and balanced on his tippy toes.
Great. Now what? He asked himself as he just balanced there.
His head immediately began to spin from the exertion and he didn’t bother to think about what to do next.
He just spun and dropped the chair towards the mattress.
Benji’s head flopped backwards and he groaned.
All of that was a lot for him in his state.
But at least he was closer to his destination.
He repeated that process three more times.
On the third, the chair lost its balance and he was sent falling backwards.
Luckily, the mattress was there and it caught his fall.
His hands were crushed beneath the chair once again, which hurt like a bitch, but at least he had something squishy beneath him and not concrete.
Benji forced himself to roll over onto his side, away from the water bottle, which he then searched for with his hands.
There were a few times his fingers brushed over it, which then caused it to shift out of his grasp again. His frustration was mounting. He was so fucking thirsty though. Plus, if he happened to pass out, at least he’d pass on the mattress that smelled a lot like Sawyer.
Benji continued to struggle with that damn water bottle.
He managed to grab it at one point but getting the lid off was impossible with one hand.
He got so frustrated after about five minutes of trying to get it off that he just gave up and collapsed as much as he could while bound to a chair.
He had been so close to doing something that felt important for him to do and he couldn’t even do that.
No wonder why his dad so easily gave him up.
He cringed immediately when that thought crossed his mind and he closed his eyes, willing the whole idea to go away.
Perhaps he could just sleep it off.
He was pretty tired after all that. And he was still sick. Sleeping actually sounded like a really great idea. And by the time that he woke up, maybe Sawyer would be back…
“What the fuck happened…?”
Benji groaned from the voice that roused him from rather uncomfortable and, honestly, shitty sleep. His heart began to pound in his chest. He didn’t know who it was. He didn’t quite process it. Was it Milo? If it was, Benji knew he was in for a world of hurt in just a few moments.
“Benji, are you okay? How did you get over here?”
He released a breath when the soft lilt of Sawyer's voice reached his ears. “I was thirsty,” he managed to say with a grunt.
With far more difficulty than he was expecting, the man lifted his chair up from the mattress, which Benji didn’t mind. His arm had fallen asleep a while ago. He watched Sawyer collapse to his knees immediately after Benji was right side up and his brow furrowed. “What’s wrong?”
“I-It’s nothing. I’m fine,” Sawyer panted out. A light sheen of sweat seemed to instantly cover his brow.
“You look anything but fine…”
“What would you even do if I said I wasn’t?”
That was a valid question. Benji couldn’t do much in his predicament. He wasn’t that well off either. Plus, he was still attached to the chair. “I don’t know…”
“Then you don’t have to worry about me.”
“Easier said than done. You’re the only person I have right now, Sawyer.” That statement seemed to have given Sawyer some pause. He turned his head towards Benji and the two just stared into each other's eyes before Sawyer forced himself to look away. “If there’s anything I can do…”
Sawyer stood up with some great difficulty, Benji noticed, before he reached into his pocket and pulled out the keys to the cuffs. A few moments later, his arms were free and Sawyer got to work untying his feet. “Are you sure you should be doing this?” Benji asked, rubbing his raw wrists.
“At this point, I don’t give a fuck,” he admitted.
Once Benji was released, the chair was pushed away by Sawyer and he pulled himself onto the mattress, laying on his front. “I brought down some protein bars, if you’re hungry,” he said and turned his head to look at Benji, “How are you feeling?”
With some minor difficulty, he stood up from the chair and wobbled, both from not using his legs for however many hours and his general lightheadedness.
Luckily, he didn’t fall over. He just grabbed a couple of the protein bars that were lying on the ground and laid down on the mattress beside Sawyer.
“Hard to say,” he admitted, “Head hurts. Body still hurts. I think I still have a fever. I’m nauseous most of the time.
My family has betrayed me in some way. And I’m still held captive down here.
” Benji looked at Sawyer. “All in all, I’d say not great. ”
“I’m sorry.”
“It’s not your fault,” he said and actually meant it.
Over the time he spent with Sawyer, he really believed that the guy had nothing to do with anything.
He was just an unfortunate victim of circumstances.
Benji really believed that if it were up to Sawyer, he’d have been set free immediately, if he was even taken in the first place.
Unfortunately, it wasn’t up to him though.
Out of his peripheral, he saw a bandage on Sawyer’s hand and his brow furrowed, “What’s that?”
“Hm?”
Benji pointed towards the bandage, “That.”
Seeming to realize what he was talking about, Sawyer pulled his hand close to his body, as if that would hide it from Benji. He didn’t say anything about it. He just closed his eyes.
“Sawyer? What is that?”
Again, he didn’t answer.