15. CHAPTER 15
CHAPTER 15
Cassidy
Blinding, burning pain. It runs along my arms and legs.
There's softness underneath me. I'm in bed. Whose bed?
A wave of warmth floods me, washing away the burning, and I relax.
For a few moments.
"Hold her down," a woman's voice says. "She's going to wake soon and panic."
Arms press down on my shoulders and my ankles. Panic rises in my throat, threatening to suffocate me.
"Relax, sweetheart," the woman whispers. "You're going to be okay. It's Helia. We haven't met yet, but I'm sure you've heard about me. I’ve definitely heard a lot about you."
She keeps talking even as I feel the weight of her hands on top of my ribs.
I open my eyes and stare directly into another pair of blazing green eyes.
This time, the woman is beautiful. Her wild blonde hair frames her pouty face. Her full lips are twisted in concentration as she stares down at me.
"It's okay, Cassie. I'm Helia," she repeats. "I'm healing you. You might feel a tug. That's normal. Please don't scream. That will increase the pain tenfold. Be brave. You're almost done."
It feels like there's a bomb somewhere inside me, ticking away, getting closer to the final moment of detonation. I try to twist to the side, but every move is excruciating and, more importantly, pointless. I'm unable to escape whoever holds me down.
The bomb goes off and I scream as the pain hits all my senses at once.
Black spots appear behind my eyelids, and I sink into the comfort of darkness.
The throbbing pain returns when I wake. Something cool is pressed against my neck. I want to move away, but my body is rooted to the bed. I open my eyes slowly to take stock of my body's injuries.
"How are you feeling?"
Graham's voice is my saving grace. I stop my train of dark thoughts and look up to his handsome, relieved, and most of all, worried, face.
"Sore," I croak back. "The worst kind of sore."
He leans in, but I reflexively flinch away. Though I'm aware it wasn't him who hurt me, my body recognizes him as the threat.
His eyes fill with pain.
"I'm sorry," I whisper. "I didn't mean to."
"It's okay," he replies. "You're right to be afraid of me. I tried to warn you about the danger."
I pause, unsure how to say the right thing. His guilt is the hardest thing I've experienced so far. I don't know the fate of my ex-boyfriend yet, and I'm not sure if I want to know. In fact, I'd prefer him alive so I can kill him myself for betraying us.
"I'm not blaming you," I say. "It's not your fault that I was stupid enough to stand up to the wolf."
He frowns. "Cassie, you could've died because of me. I nearly killed you. You saw firsthand what I'm truly capable of. I’ve never lost control like that before. I don't know what I would've done if you..."
"I'm okay," I assure him, barely feeling any pain at all. "Speaking of, what exactly happened?"
Graham sighs and tells me about calling Helia who came running as fast as she could.
"With you falling unconscious, I'd lost all my hope," Graham continues, his voice deepening. "Helia's a witch, but she works in a human hospital as a doctor. Her expression made it clear to me that it would take a miracle to save you. Fortunately, Grayden insisted on tagging along and since they're fated mates, she was able to channel his power."
I frown, not sure what that means. "Your brother healed me?"
"Helia healed you, but with Grayden's help," he explains. "Even with magic, you're in rough shape. You lost a lot of blood. While the physical scars have been healed, the emotional ones stayed behind. That's something even our magic can't touch."
"How did you stop yourself?" I ask. "What happened? How did you come back?"
"I-I don't know."
I'm not sure what this means. For the first time, I'm staring directly in the face of something even bigger than being a wolf. And it's shaking up everything I thought was true.
"I think you do," I tell him with a weary sigh. "I know that we hardly know each other, but I've felt more connected to you than I ever have with anyone. I know you do, too. The least you can do for me now is to tell me the truth. You owe me that much."
He shakes his head.
I grab his hand without thinking, and we both stare in shock at our entwined fingers.
His skin feels warm and cold at the same time.
"I didn't want to believe what I've had a hunch about since our first time together," he admits. "But seeing you like that...Nearly losing you...Nearly killing you...Fuck. It hit me with full force. I don't know how it's possible. I don't know how it works. But I know this is what I think it is."
I peer into his black eyes.
"What are you talking about?" I ask. I'm struggling to keep my emotions intact. I need to focus. I don't know how much I can still lose and make a sane decision.
He swallows. "I don't know if I should've brought it up already," he explains, his tone uncertain.
"Please," I implore him. "This is making me too nervous. Just say what you want to say. You can't fuck this up any worse than you already did."
His eyebrows raise at my words, but then a soft, amused smile reaches his lips.
"Perhaps it is time for me to utter those words for the first time," he admits. "You're my fated mate, Cassidy. I feel it within me. I felt it when we first got together."
"Fated mate?" I ask, my brows furrowing. "What exactly is that?"
He chuckles. "Simply put, you and I are destined to be together. You probably didn't sense it because you're human, but my wolf and I had a faint feeling that connected us to you. We were drawn to you, which is probably why I couldn't let you go. I tried very hard to ignore it. I wrote it off as an attraction. But when you nearly died...when I nearly killed you...something snapped inside me. I think it's the bond setting in place that saved you and kept me from killing you."
"Am I supposed to believe that this is real?" I ask, disbelieving.
"Shifters understand the concept better," Graham explains. "It's not necessarily related to shifters. I mean, Grayden and Helia are fated mates too. It was a bit of a surprise, to be honest."
"Are they soulmates?" I ask, still trying to wrap my mind around it.
He smiles. "Yes, if you're referring to the idea of an eternal bond that can never be broken. Soulmates and fated mates are basically the same thing. I guess humans are more familiar with that term."
"How do I know for sure?" I ask him.
Graham chuckles. "I knew it as soon as our bodies connected. The only thing I'm asking now is not to fight this. Give it a chance. I can't promise anything except that whatever you decide, I will honor it.
Not every soulmate or fated mate ends up happy, and I wouldn't ever wish you pain. I understand this is a lot to take in. I've had some time to come to terms with it, and even now, it's hard to wrap my head around it."
There's a stirring inside me. Something that ties me to him. I don't know if it's what he's talking about, but a part of me is rooting for his explanation. The implications have my head spinning. This means that Graham and I can be—
"Stop torturing yourself," he gently chides. "Rest, Cassie. Try to recover, and when you're feeling well, we'll talk about it again."
"It's not that easy," I mutter, aware that I may start tearing up soon. The memory of pain grips me tightly. My senses seem heightened with each passing minute.
"Let yourself off easy," he demands. "Go to sleep, Cassie. Go to dreamland. Sleep like you're meant to. It's the only way for your body to fully heal. Magic can only do so much."
"I don't think I can," I say, swallowing past a lump in my throat. "Not with everything that's going on."
He looks at me and hesitates for a moment. "Do you want me to help you?"
"How?" I ask.
"Helia is in the living room," he replies. "I can call her in."
"She'll put me under a sleeping spell?" I ask, my eyes wide.
"Not if you don't want to," he says quickly. "But maybe you can talk to her. She might be able to explain things better. Five years ago, she was in the same position you are now. Although, hers was worse, considering that witches and wolves were known enemies."
"I think I'd like to thank her for saving my life," I admit.
Graham nods. "I'll ask her to come in. If you want me to leave…"
"No," I say. "Despite everything, I feel a bit safer when you're here."
Graham glances back at me before going out.
What am I doing? The logical part of my mind is in self-preservation mode. Logic shouldn't even have a part in this because no matter what I decide, my heart will take the hit. But with Graham so near, that part of me stops making rational sense.
He makes me think of fairytale castles and princes that come to rescue the princess, even if they have sharp fangs and claws.
Will the wolf in him appear again, making me walk on broken glass? Or will the fated mate bond keep me safe?
Once the door opens and Graham comes in with Helia and Grayden, my mind recognizes her green eyes and long blonde locks. I gasp.
"Hello," she greets me with a warm smile. "I'm glad to see you’re awake."
"And in one piece?" I joke, the entire situation making me more nervous than I expected. I don't even know why. Maybe I just hate feeling helpless.
"That too," Helia chuckles. "How do you feel?"
"Like I went through an MMA fight," I reply, thinking of the phantom pain. "Thank you for everything you did for me. Both of you."
She smiles and puts her arm around Grayden's waist.
"Welcome to the family, Cassidy," Grayden says with a smile of his own. "I always knew Graham to be a weirdo, but I never thought he'd bond with a human."
"You bonded with a witch," Graham mutters back.
Helia rolls her eyes. "I don't think Cassidy is in the mood for your pissing contest. The most important thing is that she is safe and recovering."
The two brothers mutter their apologies.
She turns to me again. "I would advise you to take a few days of bed rest. It will give your body some much needed time to heal. Our magic worked on repairing the outer damage, but the rest is up to you and your human will."
"I can't miss work," I argue. "We've made some important discoveries."
"Garren and Gavin are on their way to bring Tim in," Grayden informs me. "We'll let him sweat for a few hours before we interrogate him."
"Don't hurt him," I say. "I don't know how he got mixed up in this, but I'm sure he's a good guy."
Graham lets out a low growl. Grayden shoots him a warning look.
Helia comes closer and sits on the edge of the bed. "No one will hurt anyone," she assures me. "We just want to ask him some questions. The sooner we stop Jason, the better."
"What if he doesn't talk?" I challenge. "Will you torture him then?"
"Not exactly," Helia replies. "Long ago, witches perfected the art of getting into someone's head. If he doesn't talk, we're going to have to look through his memories ourselves."
"What if I talk to him?" I offer. "I'm sure he'll tell me everything."
"Too risky," Grayden says with a shake of his head.
"No way," Graham growls.
"Relax, you two," Helia chides, her gaze stern. "If you keep scaring her like that, she's never going to embrace the bond."
The room is silent for a moment, as Grayden and Graham seem to recollect themselves. Helia seems to know what she's talking about, and that makes me even more interested in getting to know her.
She turns to me, her green eyes meeting mine. "Did Graham talk to you about the fated-mate bond?"
"He did," I say, choosing my words carefully.
I already know the basics but not how it should be or how it will be. This is not something a human could understand. Not something I can pretend to make logical sense of. It is something much more.
Graham seems to understand the question without Helia spelling it out because he clears his throat and shifts his position.
"If you are to reject the bond, a part of our soul will get irrevocably damaged," Graham explains with a hint of fear and sadness in his voice. "Though we'll be alive, we'll never be able to fully recover from the pain and hurt."
"You're human, so you won't feel it as deeply as Graham," Helia adds. "In fact, you probably won't even notice much difference at all."
Grayden straightens his shoulders, and there's a challenge in his dark eyes. "Which is why I'm pleading with you to at least give him a chance before you decide to reject him."
"I don't need you two to fight my battles," Graham tells them. "That's between Cassie and me. She's under a lot of pressure as it is, and though I appreciate the sentiment, you're making it worse."
"That's a lot to take in," I say. "Perhaps it's too much too fast."
"I understand," Graham says and pauses.
He clearly wants to add something. I hold my breath.
"I hope you'll think about it," Graham says and gives me a sad smile.
"I will," I tell him, but then an idea occurs to me. "I want to talk to Tim before anyone else tries to interrogate him. Take it as my condition to give this a chance. Take it as a way of you showing me that I'll be your equal despite not being a wolf. Or a witch."
My demands are met with silence.
Helia is the first to break it. "If that will give you peace of mind," she offers, a small smile playing on her lips.
"Graham," Grayden demands, and his brother looks away. "Graham, tell her you will agree to this. The traitor needs to be interrogated anyway. You might as well get something out of it too. Besides, we'll be just a door away, watching the entire thing through the two-way mirror. She'll be safe. Nothing will happen to her."
A moment goes by.
And then another.
When Graham agrees, it looks like the decision was physically pulled out of him, along with a piece of his heart.
Or that's what I'm guessing, anyway. How the hell am I supposed to know how a wolf thinks or feels?
I need to be feeling brave right now to face Tim. I need a sense of control, just to prove to myself that he hasn't taken it from me. And yet, when I think of what I'm planning to do, my bravado falters.
"It'll have to wait until tomorrow though," Graham says. "Cassie needs to rest."
"Time is of the essence," Grayden reminds him.
"The longer he sweats it out in the dark cellar, the faster the conversation will go," Graham replies. "The software is still running through Jason's known associates. If we're lucky, we'll get his location before Cassie talks to him."
Grayden nods. "I'll call Garren to see if there's any news on Tiana."
"I'm going to take another look at Cassie's vitals before I go to the hospital," Helia says with a glance at the watch. "My shift starts in an hour."
"You can head out whenever you're done," Graham tells her. "I'll make sure that Cassie gets whatever she needs. It's the least I can do to keep her comfortable."
"Graham will be an excellent nurse," Helia tells me with a smirk. "Though he could use some practice on the bedside manner."
Graham rolls his eyes. He turns to Grayden. "Let's give them some privacy."
They disappear out the door with a wave, leaving the two of us alone.
"Though you don't have any visible wounds, your body still feels the pain in the spots they were," she explains. "It should be gone in a day or two."
"What about the emotional injuries?" I ask, remembering Graham talking about it. "I'm still a bit shaken by all this. Is that normal?"
"The emotional wounds will heal too," Helia assures me. "Though you can't exactly go to the therapist to talk about it, I can give you my number, and we can meet up for a cup of coffee if you want."
"Thank you," I say, touched by her generosity.
Helia smiles. "It's not easy being mated to a Grey. Alyssa and Leia had their own troubles with the bond, but it's nothing compared to what we're dealing with. They're wolves after all, and we're not."
"Do you regret it?" I ask, my voice quiet.
"Never," Helia replies without missing a beat. "I didn't know what life was until I met Grayden. I understand now that I was just going through the motions of going to work, eating, sleeping, and repeating. Grayden taught me there's more to life than that. He showed me what it means to be alive. Being with him is worth it all. He's everything to me."
I stare at her, wondering if I feel the same about Graham. I want to be as sure about someone as Helia is about Grayden. I want to have what they have.
She smiles at me warmly. "Give the bond a chance," she says softly. "I think you won't regret it. I never do."
I nod, emotions bubbling to the surface, rendering me speechless.
I want to have this connection with Graham more than I can say out loud. But accepting the bond seems huge and hard. I don't even know how to go about it. Do I have to say it out loud? Is there some ritual I should go through?
I'm way out of my depth here. I want to ask Helia, but I also don't want her to know what I'm thinking about. I don't want her to give Graham false hope. Besides, after her words, I feel that I'm the only one who can accept the bond.
"I'll see you tomorrow," Helia tells me. "I'll be there when you talk to Tim."
"Thank you," I say, meaning it. Her presence is calming and reassuring. I'll be glad to have her in my corner.
"Get some sleep," she says and gets up. "You'll need all your strength."
"Would you mind..." I start and trail off, unsure of how to continue.
Helia lifts her brow in question.
"Would you mind helping me quiet my thoughts?" I ask softly.
She gives me a knowing smile. "Of course," she confirms and gently sets her hand on my forehead.
She mutters under her breath, but I can't concentrate on what she's saying because I'm too tired. Whatever she's doing is quickly taking over. My mind relaxes, and I fall into the softness of the bed. All the worries fade as the darkness brings me into a deep slumber.