Chapter 15 #3
I chanced a glance over to the tree line, my stomach sinking as Mother dissolved into the shadows of the woods.
Sacha stood, spitting at my feet. I swiped my hair from my eyes and flashed a feral grin before lunging.
Our swords crashed, a thunder of sparks and roaring waves.
Each of us with a deep well of anger coursing through our increasingly desperate moves.
Sacha parried well, but he had a pattern.
And patterns were lethal openings, ready for me to take advantage of.
His right knee twitched, ready for him to spring, to slice into my seemingly exposed torso.
I danced, just a fraction out of his reach, just enough for his blade to meet nothing but air as I struck from below.
His grip was strong, but his eyes widened, jaw clenched.
Sacha knew I had the upper hand. Twisting his sword, he screamed his frustration.
His hold on his weapon weakened as I worked to wrench it free.
Hearing him cry out as his wrist bent awkwardly, I readied for a swipe at his exposed shoulder when something caught my eye.
Raine, the back of their red hair disappearing into the gloom of the trees, exactly where Mother had gone.
I hesitated. It was a mere moment, but long enough for Sacha to regain the upper hand and I hissed as a sharp pain sliced across my cheek.
With his chest heaving, a victorious smile split his face, and the crowd exploded into cheers.
He raised his arms aloft, pumping his sword hand above his head.
I swallowed down the bitterness coating my tongue and forced my chin higher.
I glanced back, but Raine had gone, swallowed by the shadows, and I hated how my lungs constricted. Sacha slammed his sword into the grass, crossed his arms, his satisfied gaze raking over the tick in my jaw.
Wiping the trail of blood from my stubbled cheek, I strode towards him, holding out my hand.
‘Good fight,’ I said, my hand hovering in the empty space between us.
He raised his arched brows as he glanced down at my hand, leaving me standing for a few moments before he grasped it, letting go quickly as though I were tainted.
‘Wouldn’t mind a rematch,’ I called over my shoulder, racing towards the trees concealing Mother and Raine, missing Sacha’s answer over the celebratory calls.
I jogged over, finally hissing at the sting on my cheek.
Gods, I hoped that wouldn’t scar. Slowing, I disappeared within the chilly gloom of the forest. I grimaced as a dry twig crackled beneath my feet.
Raine may not be able to hear me, but Mother certainly would.
The image of Raine laying their freckled hand on Mother’s elbow entered my mind, along with the uncomfortable twist I’d felt at the familiarity in their touches.
Surely, they were just friends, comrades?
I trod with more care, my ears pricked, and glared at a blackbird who called out a warning as I wove through the cramped trunks.
The woodland carpet muted my steps as the faint remnants of my mother’s laughter carried on the breeze. Holding my breath, I crept forward. Of course, they’d be signing, so there were no voices to follow, just the occasional sounds from Mother.
I halted, my pulse thundering in my ears and a hot rash exploding up my face. Clenching my fists, I fought the urge to turn back at the sounds of… no, she wouldn’t. She couldn’t.
Forgetting my stealth, I burst forward just in time to see Raine lean back from where they’d held my mother in an embrace. I halted as her eyes widened, taking in her bruised lips. Raine glanced between me and Mother, signing words I failed to see as she shrugged and crossed her arms.
Raine moved back and at least had the manners to look sheepish as I stalked forward. For a few moments, I stood before them, seething and watching my mother steel herself, ready for the inevitable argument.
‘I…’ I crossed my arms in an attempt to keep my fists away from Raine’s nose. Perhaps I could straighten out that already-bent feature. ‘Are you and Raine… are you with them?’
For a moment, pain crashed into my mother’s eyes, before she stood straighter and took Raine’s hand in her own.
‘I deserve to be happy, Matthias.’ She spoke with the same clipped tone I heard so often growing up, when I’d misbehaved and had to face the consequences of my actions. ‘I’ve been lonely for a long time. I lost my husband long before his death.’
Raine kept their blue eyes on Mother as I stared between them. I wasn’t prepared to listen to her guilt trip me over this.
‘Do you honestly think I’d begrudge you another chance to be happy?
’ I despised the way my voice cracked. I raised my hands.
I suspected Raine could lip-read, but I’d be damned if I let them get away with not knowing the level of my vitriol.
‘I hate the thought of you being lonely, I do.’ I glared at Raine, the rebel leader.
The person who could have told the truth to The Alliance, spared Father his humiliation.
‘But why them? How could you? After everything they did to Father? To us?’
Mother’s nostrils flared. Raine placed their hand over hers with a gentleness that set my teeth on edge. Mother opened her mouth, but Raine raised their hand and she let out a shaky breath.
‘You may be king,’ they signed slowly, ensuring I understood every word, ‘Isbeth may be your mother, but I’ve known her a long time.’
Crossing my arms, I narrowed my gaze at my mother, a rare blush creeping across her neck and over her copper cheeks. What did they mean, known her a long time? Visions of Raine creeping around our home flashed through my mind. A time when my parents had apparently been happy.
‘We’ve waited a long time to admit our feelings,’ they signed. My jaw ached against my grinding teeth. ‘We put an ocean between us. Isbeth put an ocean between us. But I love her, Matthias.’
I took a step forward, and they raised their hands once more. Tears I would never allow to fall pressed against my eyes.
‘I get how this must seem. We understand how difficult this is for you.’
‘We do, Matthias. Why do you think I went away?’ Mother interrupted.
I blew out a long, shaky breath. ‘Because I failed yet again?’
Her narrow brows furrowed, head shaking.
‘What? No. Never.’ She reached for me, but I stepped back.
Did she not understand what this relationship could cost us?
Cost me? If The Alliance got wind of this, there would be nothing I could do or say to remove the taint from my throne.
‘I have nothing but pride for you. All of you. Even Ifan.’
The rage I’d barely contained burst through, my vision misted as I stepped back.
‘Ifan? Ifan? The one who betrayed us?’
A tear shone on her cheek as my back collided with the sharp branches of a gnarled tree.
‘The Ifan currently standing by while the empress destroys our home?’
She gripped the ring around her neck.
‘Yes. My son. The same son who was ripped from me. The son who was put under the care of a monster and nothing, nothing, I ever did, won any of you back.’
Her fingers brushed the ruby.
‘Don’t you dare,’ I hissed. ‘I’m taking a horse and going. Getting away from all of you before I lose my throne forever.’
‘Matthias.’ I turned my back on her, my skin prickling as I stormed away. She called my name again, a part of me breaking at the crack in her usually steely tone. ‘I love them. I love Raine.’
I turned on her.
‘Do you have any idea what The Alliance will—’
‘Yes.’ Desperation rippled across her face. ‘Of course I understand our love could risk the ire of The Alliance.’
My eyes widened. ‘I’m doing everything in my power to keep my throne.’
Mother’s voice wavered as a fierce heat raged through my veins and the first beads of sweat trickled down my forehead. ‘And they’re willing to help you. Help us.’
I let go of the tree, my guts roiling as I signed.
‘We don’t need the help of rebels.’ I watched as Raine wrapped one arm around Mother’s shoulders, kissed her forehead, and it was all I could do to keep my fists from flying into their face. ‘Especially them.’
‘We’re willing to help,’ they signed. ‘Despite everything that happened. Despite the animosity, we understand the empress is our biggest threat.’
Mother took my trembling hand, her eyes shining. ‘See, Matthias. You’re not alone. We’re not alone.’
I stood back. My mind swam. It seemed no matter which way I turned, I was trapped.
Leave, and I’d return to the poisoned mercy of the empress.
A risk to Sorrow and all we shared. The empress had made it clear that my kingdom’s children would pay a heavy price.
Stay, and I was damning the Elmswood rule to the annals of history.
Of all the people Mother could ally with, fall in fucking love with? Why them?
‘It seems my hands are tied,’ I said. ‘Again.’
‘Matthias—’
‘No.’ I cut Mother off, wiped the sweat from my face. ‘I want it on record; I have no wish to be beholden to the Midnight Insurgence. You do what you like, Mother. But I lost my father, my childhood, due to their actions. I can’t forgive them.’
As I turned, thick bile rose up my throat. I fell, my hands slipping through the damp leaves as I heaved. My far too heavy head collapsed into the bile as I blinked away the dots.
The last thing I saw was the panic on Mother’s face.