21. Olivia #3
“Speaking of those hikes, I heard several other family members talk about it, and they described it as going on a run. So have you. But for all that running, there’s no equipment anywhere in the house.
No high-visibility vests, no running shoes, no chafe guards, no electrolyte packs or, while we’re talking about packs, fanny packs!
You’re telling me that your entire family, including the kids and the old ones, are all going out and exercising together in the heat of summer and not a single one of you has the most common purse substitute hanging around? ”
Shit, was that a thing? Did humans need to bring supplies when they went on runs? It made sense that they couldn’t drink from random streams or hunt rabbits, squirrels and other things for sustenance.
“And if you want to argue that your hikes aren’t intensive enough to need all that, how about Nonna Rizoli mentioning multiple times that she’s over a century old, including sabotage stories that line up with actual history I googled later from World War Two?
Also, that my leading nickname among a majority of your family is the big human. ”
I opened my mouth to object and insist that it was slang for “guy” even though my argument was growing more futile by the second. However, the objection died on my tongue when Keith took another step forward, his lightly amused but determined gaze growing gentler and more understanding.
“Also, while I was down in that hole, I got the impression your cousins truly believed it wasn’t a big deal and that I could get out very easily. It wasn’t a nice thing to do, but I don’t believe that they wanted to hurt me. They were just stupid.
“And finally, something I picked up on from the very first time we met, was that you, as well as the rest of your family, are ridiculously strong. Whether it’s hauling tables, clapping my back, gripping my arm for support, or even tossing a dodgeball, every single one of you has the type of power that I could only hope to attain if I spent ten hours a day in the gym for several years.
And that was just with casual things. I would hate to see how it was if your family was pushed to actually defend themselves or others in a dangerous situation. ”
“So...” I wished that it wasn’t taking five-to-ten business days for my thoughts to load, but Keith was patient as I licked my lips and tried to think of where the conversation could possibly go.
While I had heard anecdotes about an occasional human discovering shifters, and most of them were horror stories, no one I knew had been in this situation, and suddenly I found myself entirely unprepared.
I should have been terrified that Keith would expose us, which would be devastating to our limited population, but that wasn’t really anywhere in my list of worries.
No, mostly, I was trying to recalibrate that I’d spent our entire relationship racked with guilt for deceiving him and worrying what would happen when he discovered I was a monster.
And here, he’d casually dropped the revelation on me like it was the same as figuring out where Carmen Sandiego was.
“So you’ve known the entire time?” I eventually said.
“Not the entire time, but long enough to know that it really doesn’t matter to me. Lions, tigers, bears, I don’t care what your family is as long as I get to be with you. Forever.”
“You can’t mean that.” Not because I thought that Keith was a liar, but it had been drilled into my head from the earliest age that humans would never be able to accept us, since they had difficulty even accepting others with different skin colors.
His casual acceptance was nearly incomprehensible to me.
Finally, he closed the distance between us, and I didn’t resist as he pulled me into his arms. Once more I was surrounded by the warm embrace of the man I loved, the man I had clearly underestimated.
“I do. From the bottom of my heart, I do.”
“But I lied to you. From the moment we met.”
“Technically, that’s true, but I don’t think having to hide what you are for safety reasons is really the same thing as purposefully deceiving me.”
“Isn’t it, though? Can you even have proper agency in consent if I’m not honest about what species I am?”
His heart, which had been thundering in my head as a vicious background rhythm to his negative emotions, was now much steadier as it thumped against my cheek. Assuring.
“I don’t think we can view you and your family protecting your identity with black-and-white morality.
Some things have nuance. Besides, the fact that all of you put your everything at risk to let me into your home shows me how much you’re willing to risk for me.
Some people aren’t even willing to put their convenience on the line for their partner, but you, and everyone else who did their best to pretend to be human, put their entire existence on the line to make this thing between us work.
“Do I have a lot of questions that I’d love to talk about later?
Of course. Do we have things we need to discuss, boundaries to update, safety plans and other things to figure out?
Yeah, that too. But all of that can come in time.
And I fully intend to have a lot of time together, because I still want to spend the rest of my life with you. Full moons included.”
Finally, I lifted my gaze to meet his. And by all my ancestors, his eyes were filled with so much warmth, so much love, that it was genuinely difficult for my brain to comprehend.
“How can you forgive me so easily?” I said, nearly choking on the words. Because didn’t hiding something so significant, so all-encompassing, show that I wasn’t trustworthy? That I was willing to lie to get what I wanted?
“Because I love you, Olivia, and although I can’t imagine growing up in this modern world while trying to keep something so significant hidden, I don’t think you’re a bad person for doing what you needed to do in order to survive.
I’m sure, if my mother suddenly turned into a werewolf tomorrow, I wouldn’t be broadcasting it to the entire world. ”
“I love you so goddamn much,” I whispered, reaching up to stroke his cheek, his beard coarse and soothing against my palm. “I don’t deserve you.”
“Yes, you do.”
It still made no logical sense that he could possibly be okay with everything, that I could get off free and clear after everything I’d done, but as I gazed up into his face, his expression so loving and his scent so welcoming, I realized that I didn’t care if it didn’t make any sense.
I didn’t care if people would call him stupid or his reaction unbelievable.
All that mattered was that he had seen the worst of me, and he still wanted to have a future with me.
But what about his safety? What about all those grand internal monologues about putting his needs ahead of your wants? If you really cared for him, you’d—
Shut the fuck up, I interrupted myself. For a moment there, I had let the fear, anxiety, and paranoia win.
And in that moment, Keith would have been completely within his right to walk away.
But he was choosing to believe in the best in me as well as the future that we could share together. So by God, I was going to do the same.
“Can I kiss you?” I whispered, figuring I might need permission considering the emotional roller coaster I’d put the man through.
“I really wish you would.”
So I did.
And it was the best decision I had ever made.
Heart overflowing and emotions intense, the kiss was anything but chaste, and I felt myself succumbing to the rush of it all as our mouths moved against each other.
There was a desperation in my lips, a howling echo of relief in my soul.
I’d come so close to losing everything. It still seemed so impossible, and maybe I was dreaming, but if I was, I didn’t want to wake up from the fantasy.
I gripped Keith’s shoulders and hopped up, his strong hands catching me, so I could wrap my legs around his waist.
“Take me to bed,” I said beseechingly once I could finally bring myself to tear my lips away from his. “And make me forget ever thinking I could live without you.”
He kissed me harder, and maybe if I was thinking straight I would have remembered that he was recovering from a bad fall, but his arms didn’t so much as tremble from the weight of me.
“As you wish.”