Chapter Eighteen
“It keeps getting worse. I tried to save Rory and accidentally saved stupid Mason instead. Plus, Floyd got away.”
“Accidentally saved? I bet Hartman doesn’t see it like that.” He stroked the inner wrist of my non-ravaged right hand with his thumb. “And Floyd getting away might’ve been the best-case scenario. He’s fast and brutal. The wolves you took out couldn’t beat him in an arm-wrestling contest.”
“I killed all eight.”
“And I’m glad you didn’t face Floyd along with them.”
He was probably right. Besides, if I’d killed the alpha leader instead of Ronan, it would’ve created a whole bunch of problems. This had to be done the right way. A pack challenge between the two wolves.
“If you hadn’t pulled Hartman out of there, he’d be dead by now.” His smile was less fragile than before. “Which must really gall him. I can hardly wait for him to wake up so I can throw it in his face.”
“Where is he?”
“Gladys’s. Ida called Margaux and Bronwyn to come work on him. I helped with some of the external silver, but I couldn’t help much with the stuff lodged inside his body. The witches are having better luck.”
“How did we get here?”
“You don’t remember?”
I shook my head. “I don’t remember much at all. The killing. Finding Mason.”
“Because of your demon side?”
“Yeah,” I said.
His thumb moved from my wrist to my palm.
My brain was a raging storm of regret and grief, and his touch sent calming waves through me.
“From what he said before he lost consciousness, you threw him over your shoulder and carried him to the Mini where you stuffed him in the back seat. You drove home, leaving him in the parking lot with the car.”
“There’s no way I could’ve done that. He weighs a ton, and I’m beat up.”
I did it, the demon said.
“Oh, good, my demon side says she did it,” I muttered.
Ronan cocked a red-brown brow and peered into my eyes. “Is she talking to you? Your demon side?”
I gave him the tiniest of nods.
“Thank her for me,” he said. “From what Mason said, if she hadn’t been in control when Floyd’s wolves attacked you, neither one of you would’ve survived.”
I protected us.
I didn’t know what to say to either of them, so I set my attention on my partners, who’d been very quiet since handing Ronan the charm. Cecil was looking at the dead basil plant on the floor, hands on his hips. Fennel was staring straight at me.
“I don’t expect you to forgive me, but I hope you will. I promise to never to do anything like that again. I was wrong to let her take over.”
Fennel’s tail twitched. So did Cecil’s hat. It wasn’t absolution, but it was reassuring all the same.
Ronan flicked a glance at the boys. “I guess Ida speaks Cat, because Fennel was able to relay to her what you were up to.”
“Fennel has a way of getting his point across,” I said.
He withdrew his hand from mine and squeezed it into a fist. “I was in wolf form, following another bullshit lead on Rory’s whereabouts. It took her hours to track me down. Hours.”
His stare took on a thousand-miles-away quality, and he went dead silent, the way only true predators can. Alpha power flooded the room. It was as if he were sweating fury and dominance.
Fennel and Cecil backed up a step.
“Ronan?”
“I won’t do that again—be out of touch for that long. You could’ve been killed.” It was hard to breathe; the rage he was radiating crowded out all the air.
“It’s not your fault I made a stupid choice,” I said.
“No, but I think you’re acting under a misconception about me, and I need to set you straight. I can kill Floyd.”
“I know that, Ronan.”
“Do you?” His gaze snapped to mine, sharp and unyielding.
His jaw flexed. “Do you also know that not only can I kill my father, I want to kill him. To watch the life drain out of his evil body. To know that his corrupt soul screams in the deepest, most despairing part of Hell. I’ve never wanted anyone dead this much, and that includes the bastards who murdered my real dad. ”
I nodded. Swallowed.
“If you’ve learned one thing from my life story, let it be this: when Niamh and Ronan Williams’s backs are against the wall, we get real fucking pragmatic.”
Niamh, his mother, the person who’d fed him silver as a child to make him strong. She’d wrested control of the wolf pack that murdered her beloved husband then they’d both systematically taken out every person involved in his murder—male or female, wolf or not.
“Betty, I love my sister and would give my own life in any normal circumstance to save hers. But the circumstances aren’t normal. I need to reevaluate my actions. It’s time for me to stop allowing Floyd to lead me around by the snout.”
The coldness in his words took me aback. Was he saying what I thought he was saying?
“Because even if he weren’t cheating, this wouldn’t be an easy fight. His methods are brutal, yes, but the worst part is that he doesn’t actually need them to win. He likes the brutality, and so do the alpha wolves close to him.”
His eyes flashed a shade of gold so bright it hurt to look at him.
“My father cannot be allowed to live. I won’t allow him to exact his revenge on the wolves who’ve allied with me. No matter how this goes down, Floyd dies at the end of it.”
Even if Rory is still missing.
Though unspoken, Ronan’s meaning was unmistakable.
He helped me onto the chaise while the boys examined some of the dead plants. When Cecil saw his desiccated string-of-pearls plant, he let out a sad little sigh that broke my heart. After a few minutes of this, they left.
I didn’t ask where they were going. I had no right.
“Are you sure you don’t want to rest inside the house?” Ronan asked. “I’d feel better knowing you weren’t so,” he gestured to the windowed walls of the garden room, “exposed.”
“I’m just as safe here as I am in there.”
He rose, shoved his hands into the front pockets of his jeans, and blew out a sigh. “Betty, I’m sorry, but I can’t stay."
“It’s okay, Ronan. I know you need to go. Rory’s still out there somewhere. Floyd, too.” I pointed to the heal charm. “There’s nothing for you to do here anyway.”
“Let me text Ida.” He pulled out his phone. “She’ll keep an eye on you.”
“All right.”
She showed up a couple minutes later, Meredith clutched in her hands. Ronan thanked her, kissed the top of my head, and walked out.
“Hey,” she said.
I burst into tears. “I destroyed it all, Ida. Everything. Kaboom.”
Her gaze went to my injuries. “Are you okay?”
Gods, no. Miles from it.
I sniffed, wiped my eyes. “You shouldn’t bring the mandrake in here. She’s still close.”
“Okay.” Her wide blue eyes filled with tears, and she turned away. A second later, she came back into the room without Meredith.
“I set her next to Red.” Ida perched beside me on the chaise. “She likes hanging out with the saguaros.”
“They’re okay?” It was the question I’d been too afraid to ask after what had happened in the garden room.
“They’re fine,” she said. “I checked on them first thing this morning, like I always do. Meredith likes sitting with little Violet.”
Relief washed over me. I let out the breath I’d been holding and silently thanked every god and goddess I could think of.
“What time is it?” I asked.
“Just after ten.”
I glanced at Cecil’s clock. Sure enough, half the morning was gone.
“You did a lot in ten hours,” she said, and gave me a smile that was only a little less fragile than Ronan’s. “You should’ve told me what you were planning.”
“I shouldn’t have done it at all.” Shame burned my cheeks. “I let rage and fear chew me up and when it spat me out again, she was in charge.”
“Your demon side,” Ida said, in that way that told me she was thinking hard about something she wasn’t ready to share.
“Yeah. I’m sorry for shutting you out.”
“It’s not okay, but I forgive you.” Her smile was a little steadier this time. “Hard to stay mad at someone willing to lean into her inner demon to protect me.”
“I love you.” My breath hitched. I tried hard not to start crying again.
“I love you, too.” She held out a hand, palm upturned. “So, kaboom, huh?”
“It’s all ruined.” I set my gray hand on hers. It was still covered in blood. The bite marks were most prominent on my middle finger. If it weren’t for Cecil and his charms, I’d have been bawling my head off from the pain.
“This looks awful.” Ida bent over our clasped hands and inspected the missing part. “Your favorite finger, too. Now how are you going to navigate traffic?”
A laugh bubbled up from my diaphragm and caught in my throat where it became a sob. Ida wrapped her arm around my shoulders and delicately hugged me.
“I killed my plants, Cecil’s plants—Mom’s plants.”
“Lila would understand. Not like she didn’t do some shady stuff herself. And it’s not as if that gnome hasn’t done some damage around here a time or two. He’ll snarl a bit, maybe throw a trowel at your head, but he’ll eventually calm down and help you put things back together.”
“I wanted to protect everyone,” I whispered, tears quietly running down my cheeks.
“Maybe you should worry about protecting yourself. Can’t save us if you’re falling apart.”
“Doing a stellar job on that front, too.” I sniffed, laid my head on her shoulder.
“You killed the wolf who did this to you, right?” She pointed at the knuckle of my half-missing finger. “Or am I going to have to take the LTD into La Paloma today?”
“I killed them all.”
“Good.” Her voice trembled with anger.
“It didn’t solve anything. Not really. Just proved what a freak I am.”
“Nothing wrong with that. Some of my favorite people are freaks.” Her voice returned to its lighter, more positive lilt. “You say you destroyed everything, but what if this is how you do it? What if in order to build something new, you had to, well, kaboom it all up?”
“Maybe.” I couldn’t even examine that thought right now. Couldn’t allow myself to hope. I lifted my head then held out my gray arms. The demon wasn’t fully in control, but she hadn’t let go, either. “Why aren’t you weirded out by me when I’m like this?”