14. Hettie
Chapter 14
Hettie
O ver the next week, Rip and I share no more moments like the one we had outside the makeshift lab, which I’ve now dubbed The House of Wolfsbane, or HW for short. We also haven’t poured our hearts out to one another again. Part of me feels bad for not going into further detail about my life before Mescos and the reasons I sought out Ender, but I’m not ready.
I know telling Rip about my past will feel like a weight lifted off my shoulders. He won’t judge me; there was only concern and understanding in his eyes the other night. Learning about his parents put a lot of things in perspective for me too. Like why Rip is the way he is. Why he cares so much about his pack and keeping everyone safe. He doesn’t want to fail again.
Rip and I spend most of our days together, except for when he has patrol, or something else important comes up. Then Tallie and Thorne are with me. But every night, I go to sleep next to him and wake up next to him—albeit grumpily because mornings suck .
It’s…comforting.
Lycan Forest, although not home, has started to feel familiar. The pain of leaving home is still there, but it’s no longer sharp and all-consuming. I’ll never stop missing my sister and mother, but the pain, in time, should become more manageable. I wonder what their life is like now? If Ender kept his part of the bargain, which I have to believe he did, are they upgrading the house? Buying a new one? Maybe going on a vacation?
Most of my time now is spent learning about the pack, like the procedures and laws Rip has put into place. I hesitate to learn about the way he leads his people because I’m not sure I’m the leader they deserve. The more I learn about the pack and the operations, the more I appreciate Rip and his ability to lead a pack of this size.
Everyone in the pack contributes, whether it’s running patrols, working at the packhouse, or running one of the businesses in town. My favorite is working with Tallie in the nursery with the pups—children of the pack. They range in age from infants to talkative preteens, and I steal away to the nursery whenever I have some downtime.
Which, surprisingly, isn’t much. Rip has stayed true to his word about making me an equal partner. I have attended one meeting he conducted with his pack council. Most of the information involved things I had little knowledge about, like territory borders and correspondence with other kingdoms. When the topic changed to Nephilim and Michael, the room grew tense.
The forest and borders have been quiet. I thought this was good news, but Rip looked stressed. His body grew rigid, and he drummed his fingers against the hard wood of the table. Each tap filled the room with apprehension.
We left that meeting with a heavy feeling of uneasiness .
I try not to dwell on that feeling for too long. When I wake up the next day, I’m surprised to find Rip still snoring softly next to me. He had gone on patrol last night to amp up security since Michael was able to sneak in so easily. With the vast number of sick wolves, we have very few wolves to spare, so Rip has been working overtime. I had fallen asleep alone, which I told myself was fine. I pretended like I didn’t miss him.
I felt him come to bed last night, but I was too tired and groggy to greet him properly. His warm body kept the chill away, and for the last few nights, I have woken up with my head on his chest and his arm curled around my waist. Our bodies seem to gravitate toward one another in the middle of the night. Today is no different. So much for the pillow wall I tried to construct.
I don’t want to wake him, so I carefully shimmy out of his grasp. He stirs the moment my feet hit the floor, and I pause, hoping if I stay silent and still, he won’t wake up. The steady rise and fall of his chest give me the confidence to move again. I go to the bathroom to take care of my needs. Warm, steamy water awaits in a basin for me, and I use it to wash my face and brush my teeth.
When I’m positive I no longer have morning breath, I tiptoe back out of the bathroom in search of clothes. I accidentally trip over Grass in the process. He’s taken over quite the pillow fort at the end of the bed.
“Shit, sorry, buddy,” I whisper.
Grass just huffs and goes back to bed.
Tallie supplied me with a stash of outfits, all of which are still lying in a neat pile on the floor. I’m not the tidiest of people, and if Rip notices, he doesn’t seem to care.
I search the pile until I find wool leggings in a light brown color and a matching hoodie. This damn cold weather is going to take a long time to get used to. Tallie even said they are expecting snow.
I turn my head once, making sure Rip is still asleep before I strip down where I stand. The cold air hits my naked body, and I shiver. My nipples pebble to painful points. I bend down, searching for panties, and find a cute cotton pair. I pull those on, quickly followed by my leggings. They are a little loose, but not to the point they threaten to fall down when I walk. I don’t bother with a bra; instead, I pull the large hoodie over my head and wrap myself in its warm embrace.
Finally feeling I won’t freeze to death, I turn around and stop dead in my tracks.
Rip sits at the edge of the bed, his gaze burning into mine. I hadn’t even heard him move. Something in his expression tells me I just gave this man a free show. Maybe it’s the way his dark eyes scan my body, feeling as if they are undressing me all over again. Or the slight bulge pressing against his sleep pants.
A cock has never made my mouth water—I would never give a man that much power. Their inflated egos need no more praise. But Rip’s? Fuck, I can’t stop wondering what it would feel like with my lips wrapped around his length.
“How long have you been awake?” I try to make my voice sound casual, but there’s a slight breathiness to my tone.
“Long enough,” he says in that low, gruff morning voice that makes me nearly have to change my panties.
“How much did you see?”
“Not nearly enough, Dove.” His lips twitch up to a predatory smirk. His stare pins me in place, caught between fleeing and saying fuck it. One taste of him couldn’t hurt…could it? He is my mate, after all, so it seems only natural .
“Your scent is fucking intoxicating when you’re turned on,” he growls, licking his lips as if he can taste me. Part of me feels embarrassed about him smelling my arousal—I didn’t even know shifters could do that. Still, the other part of me relishes the attention, needing more of it.
“And how do you know I’m turned on?” We’re playing with fire. One stray ember will set us ablaze, but I don’t think I care.
“Because.” Rip is up, crossing the room in three powerful strides. He presses against me and forces me to move until my back hits the wall. He leans so close, ducking his head. His nose brushes against my cheek, and I feel something wet on my neck where his bite is. Was that his tongue?
My body acts of its own accord, arching into him. The impressive erection presses into my hip, pinning me in place.
“Because,” he starts again, hot breath against my neck, “your scent consumes me. It blooms around you, begging me to touch you. Is that what you want, Dove? To be touched?”
My panties are soaked. His nostrils flare, and I know he’s picking up my arousal again. “Yes.” The answer comes out as a surprise, but once out, I don’t dare take it back.
Something changed between us over the last couple of days. A sort of understanding for each other’s pasts, and part of me is desperate to explore this growing tension. Even though I swore I wouldn’t fall into the bed of any eligible man showing me an ounce of kindness.
But this is Rip. This is different.
Rip’s lips press against the mark he placed on my neck. It’s mostly healed now, outlining where his teeth sank into my flesh, creating a scar. He brings his hand up to cup my breasts above my shirt, and I let out a breathy moan. “Is that what you want, Hettie? For me to fuck you? To finish my claim on you?”
“Fuck yes.”
He chuckles deeply. “Needy thing, aren’t you?”
He doesn’t know half of it.
I don’t want to fight this anymore. I don’t care to think of all the reasons this could be a stupid-ass decision; I just want to feel. “Rip, please?—”
His lips crash against mine in a claiming kiss, stealing the breath from my lungs. His hand reaches up to bracket my neck, pulling me closer. I give in to his demands, a strangled gasp leaving my lips.
His tongue pries my lips open, forcing his way inside. This kiss is different from our mating ceremony kiss. For one, there isn’t an audience—not counting Grass—which Rip uses to his advantage. His rough thumb runs over my nipple, and my body arches closer.
The need to have him closer is almost painful. Wetness pools between my thighs, and my clit throbs, begging to be touched.
It’s both too much and not enough.
My hands rest on his chest, feeling the hard muscles I want to trace with my tongue. Taste the saltiness of his skin and feel him tense underneath me.
Would he fuck me hard? Or take his time and draw out my orgasm?
Either way, I want to find out.
“Hettie,” Rip pants. His lips brush against mine. I whimper at the lost contact, and he presses another panty-melting kiss to my swollen lips.
My mind is a cloud of lust, need, and desperation. Talking is an effort, but I need him to stop holding back and ruin me. Fuck the aftermath; I need him now .
“Rip, please?—”
That’s all I manage to get out before there is a loud knock on the door, followed by a sweet feminine voice. “Hettie? Rip? You two in there? I’m coming in.”
Tallie bursts through the door, a wide smile on her face. Her eyes sweep the room until they land on us and widen. “Oh.”
Rip curses under his breath and pushes me behind him. My face flames red as I desperately try to get myself together. Was my whole boob out? What did she see? Fuck, how am I going to answer her questions that she’ll surely ask now about my relationship with her cousin when I can barely answer them for myself?
“Yesterday we planned on going to the nursery together, but if you two are busy…” Tallie breaks off with a laugh that she tries to hide with a cough.
“Give us a moment, Tallie. Hettie will be down in a minute,” Rip says, though he doesn’t sound happy about it.
“Of course. I’ll wait for our Luna downstairs.”
I wait until I hear the door shut behind her before peering around Rip to make sure the coast is clear. “Holy fuck.” Tallie is a splash of cold water, awakening me from my horny state. “I need to go.”
“Hettie—” Rip reaches out for me, but I sidestep his grip.
“Just give me a moment, and we can go.” I plaster a smile on, even as I feel Rip’s walls slowly rebuild. Disappointment mars his features, but he nods regardless.
Like the chicken shit I am, I hurry to the bathroom and shut the door, putting distance between us. I need to breathe. To think.
What the fuck am I doing?