20. Rip
Chapter 20
Rip
T here are many productive ways I should be spending my time, especially knowing my pack isn’t safe from Michael. I pride myself on the safety of my pack, but these last few weeks, I’ve felt little more than a failure. A King Alpha who cannot protect his pack is no alpha at all. Giving in to failure is exactly what Michael wants, though, and I refuse to submit to a traitor who goes against their own kind.
I could also spend my time finding wolfsbane to help cure the wolves withering away in the infirmary. My team of healers has been working around the clock to find something to ease the pain of the cursed wolves. There may not be another cure besides wolfsbane, but that doesn’t stop Lucielle from trying.
I should be with her now.
But no.
Instead, I’m pacing back and forth in the courtyard, dressed in a suit I’ve never touched before, waiting to have dinner with my wife. Conflicting feelings war inside me. On one hand, I shouldn’t allow myself the luxury of a date when my pack is suffering. But on the other hand, I need to strengthen the bond with my Luna. Rose and Malix said love is the only way to come out victorious in this war.
I don’t know if what I feel for Hettie is love, but it’s…something. Fragile. Breakable. Explosive. I don’t know what to think about my feelings toward my wife, but I know she’s mine.
“Where are they?” My voice comes out as a sneer. From my peripheral vision, I see Thorne smirk. He stands on guard just a few feet away from me. I have him here to calm me, but it’s not working. Unfortunately, Thorne is in my line of fire.
“They should be here soon. Perhaps a drink of champagne will ease your nerves.”
“Perhaps not,” I hiss. If Thorne takes my attitude personally, he doesn’t show it. He knows me well enough to know I’m not angry at him. I’m not truly angry at all, but rather restless. I don’t think that will go away until I see Hettie.
As if thinking her name brings her into existence, I feel her near. Our bond is weak, but it’s enough to know she’s made it back inside the packhouse. The soft smile on Thorne’s lips tells me he senses Tallie. Under normal circumstances, I would make fun of his obsession with his mate. That was before I had one of my own. I get it now. Maybe not on the same level as Thorne and Tallie because they fell deeply in love before mating, but the things I feel for Hettie…make me absolutely feral.
The smell of Hettie perfumes the air, lavender reminding me of a spring day, so out of place in our wintery weather. I turn in time to see Tallie walk through the glass doors. She gives me a wink before stepping out of the way, exposing my wife .
Our eyes meet, and time stops.
Hettie wears a floor-length red gown. The billowy sleeves are sheer, cuffing at her wrists. The bodice of the dress hugs her curves perfectly and flares out around her hips. Tallie piled Hettie’s raven-colored hair into a low bun; a few dark strands frame her face. A peach blush tints her cheeks, and her lips remind me of ripe strawberries.
She is a portrait come to life, a beauty only an artist can capture. I want to fall on my knees and worship every inch of her body.
“Your Luna is ready for you.” Tallie smiles, taking Thorne’s hand. “We’ll take care of everything tonight. You enjoy one another.”
I nod, my words not yet coming to me. All I know is that I need the pair of them gone.
Hettie and I remain locked in a stare, neither of us speaking, as my best friend and cousin take their leave. Then it’s just the two of us.
“You look beautiful, Dove.”
My words seem to catch her off guard, and her blush deepens. She runs a hand down the silk of her dress. “It’s not too much?”
“It’s perfect. You’re perfect.”
Like a plant to sunlight, we gravitate toward each other. I take her hand, leading her toward the table set up for us by the kitchen staff. The garden is covered in a thin layer of snow. No flowers bloom, and no tree holds any leaves. Even in death, the scene is beautiful, knowing that, in a few short months, the area will come alive once again.
A burning fire warms the air around the table. I watch Hettie as she sits, wondering if she’s cold. She doesn’t shiver, but I ask anyway. “Are you cold? ”
“Surprisingly, no. Your cousin’s room was sweltering hot. It actually feels wonderful out here,” she assures.
I take my seat across from her. A mixture of cheese, meats, and bread sits in the center for us to graze from. Despite not eating since this morning, I don’t find myself particularly hungry, but I still grab a piece of bread, giving my hands and mouth something to do.
I’m rusty at this whole wooing thing. I’ve never had to seduce a woman before or try hard to get one to flirt with me. I took the ones who threw themselves at me to bed. We’d have a fun night, but that’s all. It ended quickly. Small talk, compliments, and getting to know another person on a deeper level have never been my strong suit.
If Hettie feels awkward, she doesn’t show it. Her eyes sparkle as she takes in the setup. “A charcuterie board? I’ve always wanted to learn how to make one of these.” She reaches for a bit of everything, not shy about taking food.
Good. There’s no reason to be.
“How are you adjusting to your life here?” This is probably a question I should have asked long ago, but I’m not sure I was ready for the answer then. I’m still not completely ready to hear the answer now because, if she says she hates it here, then I can’t keep her here against her will. I can’t send her back to her world, but I’d figure something out.
“I didn’t think I would like it here.” I appreciate the honesty, but I still tense, hoping her mind has changed. “But I…I don’t know. I just feel like I’m supposed to be here? Tallie has been amazing, and I love helping her out at the nursery, and then there’s you…”
She trails off, biting her lower lip. Hettie averts her gaze from me, and I’ve never wanted to reach across the table and bracket her neck more than I do now. Then she couldn’t escape my gaze. But I’m not a beast, at least not entirely. “Look at me, Hettie. Not at the ground. Me.”
There’s a slight hesitation before she obeys, meeting my gaze once again. “What about me?” I ask, needing to hear what she thinks about me. If she’s affected as much as I am.
“You’re…you. And I’m…me. And we’re…”
“Eloquently put, mate. But I need you to be more specific.”
Hettie groans. “Don’t make me say it.”
“You sound like I’m torturing you,” I say, deadpan, “when all I want to know is what you think about when you think of me.”
“That’s the thing, Rip. I can’t stop thinking about you. You aren’t the type of man I’m used to.” Another sliver of her past, but not one that satisfies my need to know everything about her.
“What type of men are you used to, Dove?” My mind takes me back to the few times she’s flinched when I’ve moved my hand toward her face. That is an indicator of the type of men she is accustomed to. Weak men who need to prove their dominance over people physically smaller than they are.
Men like Michael.
“It’s mostly my fault. I always put myself into these situations, even knowing what might happen. My actions hurt many people, both emotionally and financially. It’s why I made the deal with Ender.”
I wait in anticipation, wondering if this is the moment she will finally trust me enough to open up to me fully. She knows about my parents and life before her, but much of her life is still so unknown to me. Before I can ask her more about it, though, a beta brings out our dinner. Pork roast with a medley of vegetables. Despite not being hungry only moments before, my mouth waters.
When the beta leaves, I ask, “You made the deal with Ender to escape these men?”
Hettie pushes the diced carrots around on her plate, separating them from the rest of the veggies. I make a mental note that my mate isn’t a fan of carrots, filing it away for later.
“Yes…and no,” she says slowly. “My fucked-up obsession with bad men was a major reason, but I can’t blame all my actions on them. They were my actions. I so badly wanted to feel important and accepted by these idiots who did stupid shit. Petty theft. Got involved with drugs, nothing hardcore, just enough to land me in jail for a night or two until my mom could scrounge up enough money to bail me out.
“We were so deeply in debt because of me. My father was the main breadwinner of the family, and when he died…we all struggled. My mother most of all. I tried to help with the bills, but I couldn’t keep a job and fucked up the small income I had.”
Hettie goes silent. She blinks rapidly, holding back tears. Her small body trembles, and I feel her fear through the bond. Fear of the past? Or fear of telling me? I’m not certain, but I don’t push her to say more. I don’t fill the silence with useless talk either. I let her words sit between us until she’s ready to continue.
“So, I made a deal with Ender,” she says after a pregnant pause. “That I would come here and marry the King Alpha, and he will make sure my mother and sister are taken care of. I don’t know if he held up his end of the bargain?—”
“He did. ”
Hettie snaps her head up. Her expression is a mixture of hope and relief. “He did? How do you know? Have you talked to him?”
“I haven’t talked to him,” I admit, and her body deflates. But I quickly add, “He’s bound by his word. All Guardians are, or were. Ender is the last one, I think. If your contract stated he’d take care of your family, then he has. Your sister and mother are living the life you have always wanted them to have.”
This time, tears fall down her cheeks, but there’s no sadness in her eyes. Only relief and something that resembles acceptance. Acceptance of her mistakes. Acceptance of the future she provided for them but will not be part of. It was a selfless act and one her family might never truly understand.
But I do.
“I know why Ender chose you for me.”
Hettie tilts her head and scrunches up her nose in a way that’s both adorable and funny. “Why?”
My finger curls, gesturing for her to come to me. Hettie just stares, and I think she’s going to ignore my wish until I hear her chair rubbing against the concrete. There’s no hesitation as she draws near and promptly sits her pretty ass down on my lap. I hadn’t expected her to actually comply, but this woman is full of surprises.
This close, I can properly admire every curve of her body. The way her pouty lips look painted in red. The smell of lavender that is distinctly her. The same smell all over my sheets. My clothes. My skin. It drives me fucking wild, and she doesn’t even know the effect she has on me. If she did, she wouldn’t be sitting on my lap right now. Not when I want to ruin her from the inside out .
“Do I have to ask again, Alpha?” the seductress purrs, eliciting a growl from deep within my chest.
My body responds to her, and I’m helpless to stop it. I bring my hand up to tangle in her hair, grabbing hold and giving it the smallest of tugs. Hettie bites her lip as her desire permeates the air. “He chose you because you are a true Luna. Because you understand what sacrifice is. You put others before yourself to a detriment, I might add. You’re strong, Hettie. No one else deserves the title but you.”
“Careful, Alpha,” she says breathlessly, “it almost sounds as if you like me.”
“And if I do?” I draw her closer until our chests touch and I feel her heart beating against mine. “Would that be so bad, Dove?”
“Only if you come to realize you don’t care for me.” Her voice is so small, reminding me of a scared doe. I don’t know the other men who came before me, but they all deserve to have their hearts ripped from their chest. I’d do it. If she wanted me to. Present them on a platter for her.
Because somehow Hettie has wound her way around my heart and squeezes it tight. There are a million reasons we shouldn’t take this any further. It’s too dangerous. I’ll get distracted. Hettie could get hurt…
But none of them stop me as I press my lips against her shoulder. It’s a soft touch, barely there at all. Still, I feel Hettie shiver under my touch. “A man who doesn’t care for you is a fool, Dove, and I’ve never been a foolish man. Stubborn and impatient? Plenty of times. But never foolish.
“Kiss me, Rip.”
The words are the permission I need to stop fighting the urge to make her mine that has only grown stronger since our mating ceremony. My lips are on her, and I devour my mate. She tastes of champagne, and I lick away every drop. Hettie moans, and I think that sound will be my undoing.
I break apart from her abruptly.
“Rip—?” she cries, clearly confused by my sudden change.
I sweep my hand across the table of our plates, glasses, and utensils. It all clatters to the floor, making a mess I’ll feel bad about later. There’s nothing more appetizing to me at this moment than the woman rubbing herself against me.
I lay Hettie down on top of it, my eyes roaming over the expanse of her body. “You make me a starving man, Hettie. I almost think you enjoy teasing your alpha.”
“Rip,” she whines. “Just fucking kiss me.”
And so I do.
I claim her lips, prying them apart with my tongue. She opens beautifully for me, a sigh of pleasure leaving her lips. She’s laid out for me like a feast I’m dying to devour. I’ve been patient. I’ve made sure she’s comfortable. All the while, my wolf howls and rages for me to take her. She’s mine and needs to be claimed as mine.
“Rip,” she pleads, bunching up my shirt in her small hands. She’s so tiny and delicate, but it’s all a mirage. My mate is steel and unbreakable.
I slide my hand up the outside of her dress until I feel the curve of her full breast. I hesitate only a second, allowing her time to stop me if she wishes, but Hettie leans into my touch.
“Eager girl.” I laugh, taunting her. Before she responds, I squeeze her breast, running my thumb over her taut nipple through the fabric.
Her desire fills the air, and Hettie hooks a leg around me, pulling me closer. I know she feels just how hard I am for her. There’s no missing the erection behind my pants. I need her. I want her. But I don’t give a shit about my pleasure. I just want Hettie to come undone by my touch. It’s about time my wife orgasms with my name on her lips.
“Rip,” she moans again. I enjoy seeing her worked up, rubbing that sweet pussy all over my hardening cock.
“What do you want, Hettie? I need you to be very clear in your needs, mate.” I tease her nipple again. I want to rip the damn dress off her, but I’m certain my cousin would skin me alive if I ruined the gown she spent all day finding for Hettie.
“You,” she whimpers. “I need you to make me feel wanted.”
“You need your alpha to play with that pretty pussy you keep grinding all over me? Tell me, mate, are you wet for me?” I already know the answer. I can smell the sweet scent of her desire, but still. I want to hear it from her lips.
“Fuck yes. Are you going to do something about it, Alpha? Or am I going to have to take care of myself?” She juts her bottom lip out, doing her best to look annoyed, but the flush to her cheeks and the lust in her eyes tell me a different story.
“You aren’t touching that pussy, Dove. If you want to come, you ask your alpha. Let me hear you say you want that.”
“Are you fucking serious right now?” she growls. “Just fuck— what the fuck, Rip? ” she screams, her voice going breathy as I bring my hand down to slap her pussy. My mate is too bratty for her own good. Lucky for her, I enjoy taming brats.
“Ask me, Hettie. Ask me to let you come,” I say, voice even as I stare upon her frustrated face.
“You dick—fine!” she hisses as I slap her pussy again. Her legs quiver, and she lets out a delicious moan. “Alpha, will you make me come?” she asks with forced patience.
We will work on her tone. “Good girl. All you have to do is ask.”
She curses my name under her breath.
I kneel by the table, moving Hettie to the edge. Her dress is already bunched up, but I push it up more, exposing her smooth brown thighs. Her legs open for me, but one article of clothing still remains between us. I make quick work of her panties, tugging them down her legs and pocketing them. A reminder of tonight.
When the cold breeze of the winter’s night hits her bare pussy, Hettie shivers and tries to close her legs. Though I’m not sure if it’s from the chill in the air or her own insecurities. Either way, I place my hands on her thighs, keeping her spread for me.
“Unless you want this to end, you’ll keep your legs open for me. Understand?”
“Yes, Alpha.”
Yes, Alpha. The sweetest fucking words I’ve ever heard.
Her pussy is so fucking wet, and she smells fucking delicious. I yank her closer, and she lets out a mix of a gasp and a moan. I press my fingers harder into her thighs, making sure she knows to keep them open as I lean forward.
The first lick of her seam has us both moaning. “You taste so fucking good, Hettie. So sweet, like candy. Did you know that?”
“N-no,” she whimpers.
“You’re my dessert, Dove.”
And then I start to eat her out in earnest. I can’t stop. I can’t slow down. I wanted to take this slow. Play with her and slowly coax her to orgasm, but I’m too impatient right now. My tongue darts inside of her, her cream so sweet on my tongue.
She moans my name or screams. I’m not really sure. I can’t concentrate on anything other than devouring her pussy.
My tongue sweeps over her clit, eliciting a loud, sensual moan. She reaches for me, tugging on my hair. It adds the perfect amount of pain, making me growl. I suck the sensitive bundle of nerves into my mouth, pressing a finger inside her.
She clenches around the digit. She’s so fucking tight. I want to sheath my cock deep inside of her, inch by inch. Feel her stretch and tighten around me. It’ll be fucking heaven.
“Fuck,” she pants, grinding down on my face.
I laugh softly. “Ride my face, mate.”
This is a command she doesn’t fight me on. Her hips work against my tongue. I add a second finger, moving it in and out in rhythmic timing. It’s not enough, not nearly enough, but it’ll do for now.
“Alpha!” Hettie screams as her orgasm takes her over. Her body spasms, and her legs tighten around my head. I taste her satisfaction, groaning with each swipe of my tongue. I don’t let up, not until she collapses back on the table.
“Fuck.” Her breaths come out in labored pants. “Give me a minute, and then I want to please you.”
There is nothing I want to see more than her lips wrapped around my cock, but tonight isn’t about me. It’s about her, and the way her eyelids droop, I know she’s tired from today’s events and her orgasm.
“Not tonight, Dove.”
“But— ”
I kiss away her protest, letting Hettie taste her cream on my lips. She moans softly, wrapping her arms around my neck. “Not tonight,” I repeat against her lips. “You’ll take my cock soon, but right now I’m taking you to bed.”
Hettie looks ready to protest further, but then thinks better of it because she acquiesces. She rests her head against my chest, and I ignore the mess we’ve made of dinner. I will apologize to the staff later, but I don’t regret a single second of tonight.
“You’re a good alpha.” Hettie’s words are hardly audible, but I hear them. Pride swells in my chest along with something else I can’t fully describe. Adoration? Hope?
By the time I carry my mate upstairs and to our bed, she’s fast asleep.