Chapter Fifteen
Alara
“Christopher seemed okay with how I handled it,” I told Ezmeray as we sat alone in the apartment after Brio and Christopher took Tuna for a walk.
I tried not to let myself remember his hand on my arm, the intense look in his eyes, or the sincerity in his voice as he spoke to me after Charlotte walked out of the room.
“It sounds like you handled it better than a lot of parents would have in that situation. Sometimes, we tend to jump to assuring kids that they’re okay.
When they’re clearly not. And that’s invalidating.
” She paused, running her fingertip over the lip of her coffee mug.
“Though I hate how some of that advice came from personal experience.”
“We went through a lot.” I shrugged it off.
“You went through a lot more.”
“Ez, you had to marry that son of a bitch and be abused by him…”
“I meant when we were kids still. I was an adult then. Barely, but an adult. You went through a lot more as a kid. And don’t think I don’t know how much you’ve edited what went on when I wasn’t around anymore. Because I knew those guys. I knew how they were.”
“There might have been more propositions and groping than I’ve mentioned before.” Ezmeray’s face hardened. “But it never went, you know, too far.”
“That was already too far. You were a child.”
“There’s no reason to be upset about it now. They’re dead.”
“But they didn’t die painfully enough, now that I know that.”
“It was more important to be free than to get revenge.”
“I guess. I still hate that I couldn’t protect you.”
“That goes both ways.”
She nodded.
We’d both been through a lot.
We both would have liked to protect each other. And our mother. But we were young girls stuck in a group of men’s sticky web.
“Doesn’t this seem like a long walk for little Tuna?” Ezmeray said when she glanced at the clock.
“Oh, please. This isn’t a dog walk. This is a super-secret mafia meeting that they aren’t letting us be a part of.”
“You’re probably right,” she said, then shook her head. “Now, I’m wondering how many of these long walks Brio has taken the dogs on have been meetings.”
“Knowing this Family, most of them.”
“I wonder what he would do if I offered to do the walks.”
“Likely tell you it wasn’t safe.”
“These Costa men,” she said, shaking her head. “Speaking of.”
“Oh, do we have more dirt?”
“Maybe, but you’re the one who has it.”
“What?”
“What’s going on with you and Christopher?”
“What? Nothing.” That came out too fast, too pitchy. Even as my mind flashed with memories of him behind me in bed, his hand between my thighs, his hard length against me.
“Oh, please. You’re staying at his apartment to recover.”
“He offered.”
“So did Brio.”
“Your place is packed.”
“This place is packed too.”
“But it’s all on one level.”
“Alara,” Ezzy said, rolling her eyes. “This is me. We don’t need to lie to each other.”
I sighed, looking out the window. “Maybe it’s because I was feeling shitty. And I didn’t need to, like, perform for Christopher.”
“You don’t need to perform for us, either. But I get what you’re saying. You are more likely to put on a brave face for us and our kids, even when all you want to do is wallow.”
“Yeah, I guess that’s it.”
“But let’s be real. That’s not all of it.”
“Ez…”
“I’m not blind. I’ve seen the way both of you keep looking at each other when you think the other isn’t looking.”
“I’m not going to lie. Some… stuff has happened.”
“Okay. And?”
“And… nothing. He doesn’t want me.”
“I think said ‘stuff’ happening proves otherwise.”
“I guess maybe it’s more that he doesn’t want to want me.”
“Why?”
“Because of Brio, mostly. And because I’m younger than him.”
“Oh, my God. It’s not like you’re eighteen years old.”
“Right?”
“And what about Brio?”
“I’m his wife’s baby sister.”
“Right. Like Brio doesn’t know you’re a full-grown woman who spends time with men, and occasionally goes home with them.”
“You know how the Family is about this stupid crap.”
“Like, I’d get the concern if Chris was planning on fucking you and fucking you over. But I really don’t think he’s looking just to hook up with you.”
“No, he’s… I think he’s in a more serious phase of his life. Random sex isn’t what he seems to be looking for.”
“I’ll mention it to Brio. No, don’t interrupt,” she demanded, holding up a hand. “In a casual way. In a ‘it seems like Chris and Alara have a spark’ kind of way. See what he says. But I know my husband. He wants you happy. He wants Chris happy. He would love it if you made each other happy.”
“I think everyone is just getting away with themselves here. It’s not that serious.”
“Is it not that serious, or are you two fighting it? There’s a difference.”
“I think—”
I was saved from answering by the men coming back with an exhausted-looking Tuna. Each man had a bag of something that smelled like onions and vinegar.
“Brought back lunch.”
“Me too, but you and I are eating it alone in our empty house,” Brio said, reaching out to snag my sister around the waist and pull her to her feet.
“I’ll check on you in a day or two,” Ezzy said, but it was clear I’d already lost her focus as Brio whispered something in her ear while ushering her to the door.
Alone, I turned back to Christopher as he pulled subs out of the bag.
“Did you have a fun super-secret mob guy meeting?”
His lips tipped up at that. “That obvious, huh?”
“What did they find out?”
“They were looking into Robin’s murder, obviously. And her life.”
“Did they find anything?”
“Not necessarily about her, no. She had a boyfriend up until a few months ago, though. He got locked up on some outstanding warrant.”
“Did he get out and kill her?”
“No, he’s still locked up. But they shipped him out of state, so even if we could get a visit, it’s not likely to happen.
Our best bet, though, is that whatever is on that flash drive is likely his information, not hers.
He has a rap sheet as long as my arm. But he’s done a lot of floating around to different crews, so it’s hard to pin down what could be so valuable to someone. ”
“Did they find the drive?”
“Not yet.”
“What? Why not? There wasn’t that much of a mess.”
“They’re on it. If it’s there, they will find it.”
“It has to be there. You said the door was locked when you got to it.”
“It was.”
“I don’t think they would have taken the time to lock it after stealing the flash drive.”
“Yeah, no. We’re working under the assumption that it’s still there. Just lodged under somewhere or something. You want a plate?”
“And make one dirty when the paper serves the same purpose?”
“I never thought I’d see a day in my life when a comment about plates could be relatable, but here we are. But these kids seem to use three plates, two bowls, and four different utensils for every meal. I feel like loading that dishwasher is my part-time job. And the laundry is another one.”
“They’re both old enough to do their own, no?”
“They would be. If the one in the building wasn’t creepy as fuck. I don’t want Charlotte down there.”
“I spent my whole childhood in laundromats, so when I do mine, I try to get it all done at once.”
“That was your parents’ business? A laundromat?”
“Yeah. Half of my memories are hanging out behind the desk there, doing schoolwork or messing around on my phone. I know my way around just about any kind of stain. I once helped someone get a suspiciously large bloodstain out of their shirt that, in retrospect, was likely evidence.” I took a bite of the sub.
“I mean, if you’re going to murder someone, don’t do it in your favorite jersey, so you can just throw it out. ”
“Sage advice,” he said, shooting me a smirk.
“So what happens when you guys find the flash drive?”
“I guess we bring it to someone to try to get into it.”
“Zeno.”
“Zeno?” he asked, brows pinching. “I guess he always was on his computer when we were coming up.”
“Is it disorienting not to know everyone anymore?” I asked.
“Sometimes, I think, to an extent, the guys who have settled down and started families aren’t as hard to wrap my head around. We’re all in a sort of similar space. It’s the guys who are still single and the new faces that trip me up still. So, what do you know about Zeno?”
“I’ve actually only met him once, when Ezzy and I passed him on the street. He was wearing pajama pants with sharks on them, a flannel, and unicorn slippers. He looked like he hadn’t slept in a week and had a tray of coffee that was all for him.”
“He was always a little… absentminded.”
“From what Ezzy says, it sounds like he might have some executive dysfunction. Apparently, he gets so wrapped up in work that his apartment becomes a biohazard zone. Leo complains about it all the time.”
“What about Gavino?”
“Gav might be the one Costa I know the least about. He’s such a shut-in. I’m not sure how he even gets money because he never seems to be working jobs with anyone else. But I don’t think he has, like, agoraphobia or anything. He just… hates everyone.
“I’ve only seen him twice, and once he was telling Leo that he’d rather roll himself in honey and waltz into the bear pit at the zoo than come with him to dinner at Lorenzo’s place.
“I know his family is worried that he’s never going to find someone in his apartment.”
“Eh, you never know. Maybe she’ll be the cop who comes to do a wellness check on him,” Christopher said with a smile. “How are you feeling?”
“I’m alright. I think it’s swelling up now. That seems to be when it starts hurting again.”
“You should go put it up. Remember what Sal said about doing too much too soon.”
“Ugh. Don’t remind me,” I said, wrapping up the rest of my sub. “I don’t want to be in this stupid thing any longer than I have to be.”
“Mind if I head out for a bit?”
More than I had any right to.
“No. You’re not my babysitter.”
“I just want to get a quick workout in. Don’t get a lot of chances these days.”
It was a public service to let this man work on his body.