Chapter 18
CATHERINE’S DIARY
It’s the day before my wedding.
I love Henry with all my heart. He is sweet and kind and I cannot wait to become his wife.
For the last six months, we have worked to get past the horror we experienced together.
I think in the end it brought us closer together.
We are the only two people in the world who could possibly understand what happened, and that creates a very special bond.
Our life is much calmer and more settled now.
I love our new home together. Although I visit Mr. and Mrs. Langon occasionally, it’s nice being out of London and living in the country.
I mean, sure, I miss the excitement of the city.
I miss seeing the latest play or popping into the pub on a whim to have a drink with a friend.
I can’t believe it, but I also miss all the noise of the tourists as they’d hobble by in the rain straining to hear their Jack the Ripper tour guide rattle off all the gory murder details.
I even miss the racket of the constant traffic and passersby.
There was just so much energy to living in London.
At first Henry and I would come into the city for some fun every other weekend, but that dwindled off after he proposed.
It was to be expected. We have a home to decorate and a wedding to plan.
Plus, we both want children soon. Then there is my new job.
I found work reviewing the research papers of other scientists for factual errors.
It’s not as intriguing as being inside a laboratory when scientific breakthroughs were happening, but at least I’m one of the first people who get to read about it.
Besides, Henry says it frees up time for us to be together.
The country can be so quiet and lonely at times. Still, as he says, I have Henry for company. Good, solid, husband-material Henry.
He no longer works on experimental research.
He’s now a chemistry professor. I tease him on how he used to only wear tweed vests but now he wears the typical old man tweed jacket with the suede elbow patches.
He teases me that he’ll soon start smoking a pipe and insist on sitting by the fire reading each night. At least I think he’s teasing.
I know this is what is best for me. This is the life I’ve chosen. It was the smart, sensible decision.
Still… there are times at night that I miss him.
Hyde.
I know he was not real. I know he was an extreme chemical hallucination brought on by the formula, but I can’t help thinking about him.
Henry is a wonderful man, but after we’re done making love and he kisses me on the forehead and rolls away to fall asleep, I can’t help how my mind wanders.
I can’t help thinking about how Hyde never made love to me… he fucked me.
I tried once to get Henry to spank me with his belt and it was an embarrassing disaster.
He was too timid and kept asking if he had hit me too hard.
The entire time I closed my eyes and would try and remember the harsh feel of Hyde’s grip, the sting of his belt as he ruthlessly whipped me until my ass was on fire.
I’d then touch myself as I remembered how the fabric of his denim trousers would roughly brush my punished skin when he pushed his hard cock inside of me and thrust at a punishing pace.
At times it’s hard to believe that Henry and Hyde had the same cock!
I should stop writing and get ready for bed. Tomorrow is supposed to be the happiest day of my life. I should be thinking of my future, not dwelling on the past. I’m happy with my decision to be with Henry. I’m sure all this rambling is just nerves.
All I can hope is that tonight, when I close my eyes to sleep, my thoughts are of Henry and not of Hyde, although I’m probably hoping in vain.
I know Hyde will return to me in the darkness.
It is in my dreams that I fall prey to him.
He stalks me there. A relentless predator, always seeking me through the mist. Tonight, one last time, I hope he catches me.
Then I promise I will banish the monster from my thoughts forever.