Chapter 28
Mackenzie
Hospital… Atrial fibrillation… Emergency department… Ablation… Sandra’s words echoed around and around inside my head, unable to be shut out as I stumbled out into the living room. Dressed now, but that didn’t help settle me at all. My heartbeat racing just reminded me of what Sandra had said.
Apparently, atrial fibrillation was a rhythm and rate disorder of the heart.
Quite common, it was often easily controlled with medication.
Medication Mom had been taking for months without letting me know.
She’d taken her meds religiously but had still gone into atrial fibrillation and they couldn’t get her to ‘chemically convert.’ She’d had several procedures called a cardioversion, and I had no idea what the hell that was, but it sounded terrifying.
Sandra said her heart rate just wouldn’t slow down.
The hospital said she needed a procedure called an ablation and I…
I needed to get home right now and make sure she was OK.
Tickets, transport, car, baggage. I sank down into a chair, overwhelmed by the need to do something, but unable to move. What if something happened while I was in Australia? Or on the plane…? My fingers gripped my phone way too tightly as I stared blankly at the screen.
“Mackenzie…?” Charlie appeared in the doorway holding a baby joey she was feeding. “Everything OK?”
“Um…” My throat felt like it was closing up, swallowing down the words. “My mom… She’s in the hospital.”
“Shit!” The joey startled, stopping feeding from the bottle, and shot her a disgruntled look. “Shit, you need to get home.”
“How?” I wasn’t normally this useless, but right now, it was as if my entire brain had gone offline. “Melbourne. Flights.”
“I’ll sort it out for you.” Charlie opened the same laptop we’d used to discover all the family secrets as she hung the joey’s pouch on the back of another chair. “Go and get packed.”
Glad to use all that adrenaline for something, I stumbled to my feet as I made for my bedroom. I grabbed things from the wardrobe, the floor, everywhere. It wasn’t so much packing, but shoving whatever I could find into my bag until I was forced to stop.
Mom told me not to go.
My breath was coming in faster and faster as my hand went to my forehead.
She said I should’ve gone to Canada instead.
My heart raced in sympathy for my mother.
She asked me to come home when the heat wave…
Shit.
I remembered how pale she had gotten, the way her hand went to her chest. Was she experiencing palpitations then? With a glance around the room, I saw nothing that was seriously important and so I zipped up my bag and wheeled it forward.
Which left me standing outside Troy’s bedroom door.
My hand shouldn’t have risen and then come to rest on the painted surface.
The need to stride down the hall and back to Charlie rode me hard, but instead I turned the doorknob and stepped inside.
The heavy sounds of Troy breathing, the whip of the breeze coming in through the window, they beckoned me forward, until I came to stand beside the bed.
He had his hand tucked under the pillow and with his eyes closed, his whole body relaxed, there was something almost boyish about Troy.
I smiled, even if it hurt to do it, as I moved closer, pushing a lock of hair out of his eyes.
His nose wrinkled and with a little snort, for a moment I thought he’d wake up.
Part of me wanted that.
To stare into his eyes one more time, even if they were unfocussed and bleary.
To see him blink, blink, then smile at the sight of me.
He’d pull me down onto the bed beside him, snuggling in close, but then when he saw I was dressed, he’d ask questions.
I’d tell him, I knew that, vomiting up all the fear and worry that roiled around inside me.
But I was leaving.
He wasn’t my boyfriend, my partner, my… We were always going to go our separate ways. I just… I thought we had more time and that fact had my fingers flexing, wanting needing, to touch him one last time.
Instead I walked back out of the room, shutting the door quietly behind me.
“There’s a flight that leaves in five hours,” Charlie said, not even looking up from the screen. “An hour drive from here to Melbourne—”
“How?” I asked, unable to speak a full sentence.
“Are you OK to drive?” She glanced over at the joey. “I’d take you, but I’m stuck here with this little guy.”
“I… Yes.” I said that far more definitively. “But what car am I supposed to take? The hire car was returned months ago, and the place isn’t likely to open for hours.”
“Take the 4WD.” She held out a set of keys, then pressed them into my palm. “Leave the keys in the glove box and park the car in long-term storage and I’ll go up with one of the boys to pick it up.”
Boys… I glanced back over my shoulder.
“I… I should go. Shit, tickets.”
Pulling out my wallet, I walked over to the screen to see it was already paid for.
“Charlie…” I said.
“Consider it a bonus for being such an amazing wildlife carer.” When her arms went around me, I sank into her embrace, needing that human touch right now.
“You can teach people about the business, but only people with the heart for it really understand what it takes.” Her hand squeezed my arm.
“You’ve got that heart.” Her eyes stared intently into mine. “Look after it back in the States.”
“Right now I need to look after Mom’s,” I said, then glanced over my shoulder again. “I don’t want to wake Troy up.”
“Makes sense. He’s always a grumpy in the morning, but he’s twice as bad when he gets woken up,” she replied with a wry smile.
“This was always only temporary.” So why was my voice catching on my words? “Just casual.”
“Of course.”
My lips pressed together as my muscles trembled. Run out the door, half of me insisted, even as the other half was sure I needed to stride down that hall, kicking the door open before throwing myself into Troy’s arms.
“I’ll send him a voice note.” Gripping the handle of my bag, I took a step in the right direction. “Explaining everything.”
“Do that,” she replied with a nod. “But not until you get safely to Melbourne. Driving at night—”
“Means keeping an eye out for kangaroos and koalas,” I said. “I remember.”
“Remember this as well.” Her eyes creased at the corner. “You’ve got friends and family in the States, but… You’ve got one here in Australia, mate.”
“I’ve gotta go,” I croaked out, my eyes filling with tears and without another word, I walked outside.
Throwing the bag into the back of the 4WD, I turned the engine over when I got behind the wheel, only to sit there.
Twin rings of golden light illuminated the bare expanse in front of the main house, the tree trunks bleached white.
The next eucalyptus trees I’d see would be those that grew alongside the roads at home. That gave me no pleasure, because it was now that my eyes started to fill with tears. Because I was leaving, because of why I was going.
Because none of this was what I wanted, but I was a grown adult. The world didn’t pay me no mind and it wouldn’t now.
But Nugget would.
Right as I put the car into gear, a flash of movement had me looking up, just in time to see the wombat trundle out and into the car’s path.
“Nugget,” I said, waving my hand, but of course, the wombat didn’t budge.
Winding down the window, I yelled out his name, but those beady little eyes just stared me down.
Grabbing my seatbelt, I unclipped it and then went to get out of the car, only to find the marsupial had trotted off into the darkness.
Which meant there was nothing else to keep me here. Reminding myself of that fact, I drove down the driveway and hit the road.
“When you get this, I’ll be gone.” I winced against the pink and orange of the dawn skies as I spoke into my phone.
I’d set it up on the centre console of the car, ignoring Charlie’s very sensible advice.
“Just know…” My sigh came from the depths of me, so much more than air rushing out with it.
“Just know I’ll never forget my time on your farm.
” My eyes creased, my vision starting to get blurry as I swallowed furiously.
“I’ll never forget you, Troy. I came to Australia to escape my old life, but I found so much more.
” I couldn’t hold back my sad little laugh.
“Heaven, that’s what the last few months has been and apart from the animals, you were the best part, you belligerent asshole… ”
Hours later, I was sitting in the international lounge of Melbourne airport, staring at the screen that showed all the departures.
My fingers clutched the handles of my carry-on bag, right up until they announced that passengers were invited to board.
One last look at the panoramic view of Melbourne shown through the floor-to-ceiling glass windows and then I was walking down the gangway and onto the plane.
The flight was long, draining, and the nervous tension that thrummed in my body didn’t ease.
Not when I got off the plane and collected my luggage.
Not when I caught a taxi, going straight to the hospital Mom was staying in.
Not even when I strode down the bright white corridors, glancing around until finally I found the nurse’s station on Mom’s floor.
“Hi, I’m looking for Kimberly James’ room?” I said to the nurse.
“You must be Mackenzie,” the woman replied with a smile, then glanced down at my bag. “You came from the airport? Sandra said you had to fly back from Australia…”
I think I kept up my side of the conversation. The need to be polite rode me hard, but all small talk was shoved aside as I walked into the room.
“Mom…” No child should ever have to see their parent lying on a bed, looking as pale as the sheets.
No one should trace all the wires stuck to their skin, trying to work out what they were all for.
Staring at the heart monitor, seeing what should be a series of regular upwards spikes look instead like a wild wiggly line is something I’d want to spare anyone from. “Mom…”
“Mackenzie?” When she lifted her head, I dropped my bags to the ground and rushed over to place another pillow behind her head. “Baby, what’re you doing here?”
“I called her.” Sandra walked in, carrying a coffee. “Hello, sweetheart.” She pressed a kiss to my cheek. “How was your flight?”