Chapter 38 #2
‘Oh, Constance, you are so sweet, but really, I can’t see how there could be enough work to keep me busy for much more than a few weeks every year.’
‘And so, what if there wasn’t? Aren’t there other things to be doing, couldn’t you sit back and take it easy for a while, walk the beach, get a dog, maybe join the local women’s group…
’ Constance paused. ‘Look, I’m just saying, if you want to stay and work on the books, I can’t think of anyone else I could ask… ’
‘Thank you, I’ll take that as a huge compliment, but I suspect there will be plenty who’ll want a few hours every week to help out.
’ It wasn’t real of course, Heather knew that, Constance must surely know it too.
They would be lucky to secure the house with whatever royalty payments were made; she couldn’t imagine the income stretching much further than that.
‘Live for today, that’s all you can do, that’s all I could do when the very worst happened in my life all those years ago,’ Constance said and Heather thought about all that Constance had lost when her husband had drowned.
Of course, now, as they all sat here a little shellshocked with Constance’s terrible news of a few days earlier, living for today resonated on the air between them in a whole new way.
‘That’s my experience, just live for today and tomorrow will look after itself. ’
It was with these words ringing out in her mind that Heather slipped out a little later to get some groceries in the village.
They were like a balm, giving her a relief she didn’t know she needed.
When had she last just lived for the present moment?
On the way back, she turned down towards the pier, intending only to sit on the wall for a while and watch the trawlers return with their catch for the day.
The pier was as busy as she’d ever seen it.
Most of the boats were back for the day, moored quayside, three abreast in places.
She supposed some were holiday makers, spending their leisure time on the water, making the journey across from the mainland and perhaps having lunch in the hotel and a ramble about the island for a change of scene.
It would be a lovely way to spend a holiday, she imagined.
Among them, she spotted Finbar’s boat. It was easily recognisable with its Mayo flag, but smaller than the other island boats.
He kept it as clean as if it was just out of the yard, even though she had a feeling it was a working boat as much as any of the other larger trawlers on the sea.
‘Penny for them.’ Jake sat next to her and handed her a cup of coffee.
‘Ah, that’s really nice, thank you,’ she said, because for all the time she’d lived in London, there had never been a coffee shop that knew exactly how she liked her coffee, much less one that gifted her as many as she purchased.
‘You’re welcome. I’m closing up for the day, I was just making one for myself when I spotted you walking along the path.’ He looked at her now. ‘So, what’s up? You look as if you’re lost in thought?’
‘I suppose I am,’ she said.
‘You are what?’ Finbar said, hopping over the wall from behind and sitting on the other side of her.
‘Lost in thought,’ she said, but suddenly, she did not feel quite so alone as she had earlier.
‘Hope they’re worth it,’ he said and she saw that he too had a coffee, made in his own mug, but it smelled as strong as the best coffee Jake had ever made for her.
‘Oh, I don’t know…’ She told them both about Philip and the baby and the fact that it had made her feel even more as if she was drifting without anchor.
‘What do you mean drifting, aren’t you one of us now?’ Finbar looked at her in a way that made her stop. ‘What’s wrong with you at all, if there’s a job with Constance and you have a place to stay and you’re happy here, why on earth would you be even thinking of going back to England?’
‘Why indeed?’ Jake shook his head.
‘But there is no job with Constance. Not really. I mean, there’s some work, but…
’ Heather didn’t want to say out loud that she could afford to drift, in financial terms. There was a sizeable nest egg on which she could live for some time to come, plenty to buy a little cottage with and live out her days here, if she felt like it.
The problem was, she’d always been driven.
She’d always gone to work, from when she was fourteen and she’d helped out in the little corner shop at the end of the road.
‘You could take this place over…’ Jake said tentatively. ‘I mean, for the winter months. I go back to the real world, it’s only sitting here locked up. You’d have to put in your own stock and pay the electricity, but you know you could…’
‘Seriously?’ she asked. ‘I can hardly make a straight cup of Americano. I think you’re overestimating my practical skills as a barista, Jake. But thanks for the offer, it’s really nice.’
‘No problem, let me know if you change your mind, yeah?’
‘Ah here, come on now, let’s stop beating about the bush.’ Finbar sighed. ‘You’re happy here, aren’t you?’
‘As happy as I’ve ever been anywhere,’ she said, but it was less than the truth because she’d never been happier anywhere in her life.
‘And there’s a place to stay, there’s work you’re enjoying, you can manage to live on what you have for the foreseeable and Jake here is giving you the chance to earn a few bob on the side?’
‘Well, yes, but…’
‘There’s no buts about it. You belong here, you have friends, people who care about you – what have you got in London to bring you back there?’ He had turned to look at her now and she had a feeling he was saying a lot more than he was putting into words.
‘Oh Finbar.’ She knew this, somewhere in her bones, that he cared for her and she supposed, now as she sat here between these two lovely men, she cared for him too, for both of them. They had become her friends since she’d arrived, as good as any she had in London, probably. ‘Thank you.’
‘Okay, okay, less of the sentimentality, are you staying on or not?’ Jake coughed next to her.
‘Sorry,’ she said, suddenly embarrassed, because she was absolutely going nowhere while Constance was alive. She wasn’t going to abandon her, certainly; the truth was, she didn’t want to miss a moment with her. ‘I’m overthinking things.’
‘Don’t be,’ Finbar said. ‘Just stay until the end of the summer at the very least. I haven’t brought you out to see the rest of the islands yet, that’s a day that’ll make you choose Pin Hill Island over any other place in the world, for sure,’ he added.
‘Right, I’m getting us more coffee.’ Jake stood up and took their cups into the van.
‘Well, between coffee and boat trips, I suppose it’s very hard to leave just yet…’ Heather said, but deep in her heart it was decided. Pin Hill was home now, she’d found what she was looking for after all.