Chapter Thirty
Singapore welcomed me with a thunderstorm.
It felt like a suitably dramatic beginning to the Asia premiere of Wonderwick, a film that already was starting to feel like a dream I’d had a long time ago.
One thing I knew was real was that Josh was hot on my heels, his plane from LA landing a couple of hours after mine came in from London.
My stomach kept doing somersaults at the thought of seeing him again, like the idea of him had kept building up and up and up in my brain since we’d last been in the same place.
I desperately hoped that when I did see him, it would all feel like a big disappointment and that I’d been crushing on a fantasy for all these months.
Absence makes the heart grow fonder, right?
That was the best possible outcome: being faintly embarrassed that I’d been thinking about him at all.
I was actively seeking cringe! Craving the ick, even.
The premiere was that evening, and the publicity team had scheduled a couple of interviews with major Asian outlets at the hotel before I had to get ready to go out.
By some miracle or more likely administrative oversight at Legacy, I had the next morning free before more press in the afternoon.
Time off on a press tour was not something I would take for granted.
Nor would I take for granted the beautiful, elegant suite at Raffles.
I like hard work as much as the next person, but I had to fight the urge to stay in my room and take a long bath when I knew I had a press junket to attend in another part of the hotel.
Wonderwick was big in Asia, so the interviews had been divided up between the cast for maximum coverage. Josh was in the room next door, and all I could think about while I was talking to the journalists was the fact I was going to see him soon, for the first time in months.
Walking from the interview room back to my own room to meet the makeup artist, I spotted Darcy and Josh in conversation in reception.
It was a bit of an anticlimax, encountering him there like this.
I’d thought there would be . . . I don’t know, fireworks or something.
He was leaning against a pillar in the big atrium, while she stood in front of him.
They didn’t look like they were talking about anything particularly important, and Josh waved at me so I went over.
I hugged them both, and Darcy seemed a little taken aback.
‘Oh, yeah, it’s my new thing. I’m trying out this concept called hugging,’ I said, lightly.
‘I like it!’ she said, smiling. She was nowhere near as spiky and intimidating as she had once been. I guess you could say the same thing for me, too.
‘I was just saying to Darcy we should have a post-premiere drink in the bar later. Can’t stay at Raffles and not have a Singapore Sling, right?’
‘Sounds fun, I’ll see you both there,’ I said. ‘I’ve got a makeup artist waiting for me so I have to dash!’
I didn’t want to rush off, but I wanted as much time as possible to get ready.
My outfit for the premiere was a long-sleeve minidress, kind of sixties inspired.
I was continuing my trend of trying to dress a bit more fun while also still dressing like myself.
I could do long sleeves with a short dress or strapless with a long dress, but not both.
I wanted to feel like me, and between the gorgeous hair and makeup and the perfectly cut dress, I did.
The evening itself was thick with humidity, and another dramatic storm passed just before we headed for the cars to take us to the huge cinema Legacy Studios had hired out.
The green carpet was lined on either side with press and photographers, with fans crowding outside the entrance and most of them dressed up in costumes or wearing some kind of Wonderwick merch.
Courtney squeezed me tight when she saw me on the green carpet. ‘You look amazing!’ she said, eyeing the cream lace babydoll dress.
‘So do you!’ She was wearing a bias-cut satin dress in the most delicious shade of hot pink, paired with chunky orange sandals.
‘And what do we think of Josh’s look for the evening?’ She cast an eye over Josh’s outfit. ‘I have to say he’s really stepped into his own recently.’
He was wearing a beige linen suit with a crisp white T-shirt underneath. It had a slightly higher neck than your average T-shirt and gave a deliciously eighties effect. ‘Very smart. Him and Tommy look like they’re having fun.’
We watched as they performed some viral dance for an Asian entertainment network, only for Max to catch sight of them and demand they started again so he could get involved.
With all the excitement of everyone being back together, I almost forgot we had a film to show.
Although we would often slink off at premieres, none of us had seen the film yet so we all stayed in our seats, watching the hard work of all those months at Smithdown coming together with the magic of post-production.
And the magic of the kiss.
On screen, our chemistry sizzled in a way I didn’t know possible.
I had spent so long worrying about this kiss, how we could ever make it believable.
Now, it was almost too believable. I felt my pulse quicken, my breath catch in my throat.
People around me turned to look at me with knowing smirks, raised eyebrows, a sense of where-did-that-come-from?
I didn’t know where it had come from, either.
All I knew was that it had shifted something in me, and seeing it again just made me want it more.
As Josh and Darcy had planned, we regrouped at the bar. Well, most of us did. Tommy and Max were out partying somewhere, but the rest of us – Josh, Darcy, Courtney and I – were back at Raffles, a round of their signature Singapore Slings in front of us.
‘Are we gonna talk about it . . .’ Courtney raised her eyebrows at me. ‘That kiss?! Girl!’
‘Don’t!’ I blushed, covering my smile like a giggling schoolgirl.
‘That was legit hot. Not hot for a film, but just . . . hot!’ She kept her voice down but Josh shot a glance in our direction. He caught my eye and we smiled at each other, holding the gaze a little too long.
‘I know! I can’t believe it!’
‘So I feel like if there was something going on between you two then I would know about it, right?’
‘Court, there’s nothing going on between me and Josh.’ I yawned widely. ‘Jet lag is absolutely ruining me. And I know whatever time I go to bed I’ll be wide awake at like . . . five o’clock in the morning.’ I was grateful for an opportunity to change the subject.
‘Whenever I go away I always get some cheeky sleeping pills,’ she said, rummaging around in her bag.
‘Want one?’ I eyed them warily. ‘Come on, they’re not, like, heroin.
I get them from my actual doctor.’ She paused.
‘In London,’ she added for effect, to reassure me that they weren’t being handed out like sweets from some private office in Hollywood.
‘All right,’ I said, holding out my hand.
‘Oh, don’t act like I’m forcing you!’
‘I’m not! I want one! I need a good night’s sleep, I didn’t get a wink on the plane.’ She handed it over. ‘Thank you, Courtney, you’re the best.’
‘What are your plans for tomorrow morning?’ Josh asked the table. ‘I was thinking maybe we could all hang out? Do something together with our rare window of freedom?’
‘Uh, I’m flying home?’ Courtney offered. ‘Aren’t you?’
‘No, I’m staying another day, Legacy has got us on some show tomorrow afternoon.’
‘Me too,’ I added.
‘I should have guessed it was just the mere mortals that were flying halfway round the world for one night only,’ she said with a chuckle.
‘Darcy?’ I offered, holding my breath with hope that she would say no. It wasn’t that I didn’t want to spend time with her, I just felt this huge certainty that if I spent some proper time with Josh, I would feel clearer about everything, one way or the other. ‘Want to hang out with me and Josh?’
She shook her head, her sharp blonde bob slicing against her cheeks. ‘I’ve got a meet-and-greet. I’m huge in Singapore.’ She shrugged.
‘Oh, that’s a shame!’ I said, maybe a little too quickly.
‘Guess that just leaves us,’ Josh said with a small smile.
‘I guess it does.’
‘Well, I’m going to bed. I don’t want to hear about all the fun things you two are going to get up to tomorrow without us.’ Courtney hugged us both in turn.
Once she’d left, Darcy sighed heavily. ‘I still feel like such an idiot for how I behaved in the beginning. It’s like I can’t shake off this fear that everyone still hates me.’
I shook my head. ‘No one hates you, honestly. You’ve been totally delightful ever since the . . . er . . .’
‘Jonas threatened to have me recast? Yeah, remarkable the effect that can have on a person,’ she said with a laugh.
‘Yes, that.’ I smiled back, sipping my drink and feeling a wave of affection for Darcy. She might be a nepo baby and my rival for the Wonderwick fan’s affections, but she definitely hadn’t had it easy.
‘I can’t believe I almost jeopardised everything for . . . what? A reputation for being cool? What even is that?’
‘Being cool sucks, I’ve decided,’ Josh said, smashing a peanut against the marble table under the heel of his hand before extracting it from the shell.
Each table had a hemp bag full of peanuts and guests were encouraged to sweep the shells onto the floor, something Josh was clearly enjoying.
‘Maybe this was the Wonderwick that killed cool once and for all.’
I shrugged. ‘Maybe cool is just being yourself. Whoever that is.’
‘I’ll drink to that,’ Josh said, clinking his glass against ours.
Darcy hoovered up the last of her cocktail and announced she was going to bed. ‘Gotta be bright-eyed and bushy-tailed for the fans, even if I don’t know what day it is!’
Josh and I sat, alone together for the first time in a long time. It felt slightly thrilling.
‘You still think it’ll be fun, just you and me?’ Josh asked, finally breaking the silence. I couldn’t tell if he wanted me to say yes or no. In the minutes since the idea had been suggested, I’d grown unpleasantly attached to it. I liked the thought of having one-on-one time with Josh.
‘So, what’s the plan?’ I asked, sipping my Singapore Sling.
Suddenly, I felt emboldened. Maybe it was the cocktail, maybe it was the prospect of spending time with Josh.
It filled me with a confidence I hadn’t felt before.
I realised I wanted Josh to know how much I liked him.
I wanted to flirt with him, I wanted to give it a go and see what happened.
‘You’ve got the suite next to me, right?
’ I nodded. ‘I can knock for you tomorrow morning after breakfast. I don’t think I’m gonna make it to the buffet,’ he said, stifling a yawn.
‘I’ll knock for you at the front door, rather than the one onto the cute little verandah.
Don’t want people to see me sneaking around that partition, thinking I’m a thief. ’
‘See you then.’ I pulled the maraschino cherry off the cocktail stick and placed it on my tongue, making sure I was making eye contact with Josh the whole time.
He looked like he was about to faint, but that might have been the jet lag.
It was as if I was play-acting, trying on what it would feel like to be someone more sexy and assertive than myself.
I thought about what I’d said earlier, about how cool was being yourself, and wondered if I wasn’t being a hypocrite.
But it struck me that for so long I’d had a fixed idea of who I was, and thought I had to stick to that, for the fans, for the studio, for my family.
It was OK for me to try things out, harmless things, not berating drivers or runners like Darcy had, but little things.
‘Uh, yeah, see you then,’ he mumbled before disappearing off to his suite, his jacket thrown over his shoulder.