Chapter Thirty-Two
I knew he wanted it too, but I knew it had to come from me.
The second I stepped into his room, it was like a switch had been flipped and it was on.
My hands were in his hair, his arms were around my waist, I was pushed up against the door feeling my whole body screaming out for his touch.
So far he had only kissed me, but I wanted more.
No, I needed more. Something in his eyes told me he wasn’t sure how to proceed, that he was holding back, as if I might change my mind at any moment. But I was all in.
‘Touch me,’ I whispered in his ear.
He swallowed, his breath catching as he moved his hands up my sides, gathering the fabric of my dress and pulling it over my head.
A gasp escaped his lips as he took me in, his thumb lightly grazing my nipple through the sheer gauze of my bra, and even that felt like an earthquake.
He unhooked my bra before getting to his knees, tracing a line of hungry kisses down my stomach to . . .
But before he got there he leaped to his feet, wrapped his arm around my waist and picked me up in one swift movement.
‘That’s it, we’re going to bed,’ he said, carrying me to the huge white expanse that seemed just made for this moment.
He threw me down, a playful smile dancing on his lips, and then he was on top of me, his mouth moving down and down again and then finally .
. . oh my God finally, the heat, the pressure, the sparks of his tongue against my clit, his fingers pushing inside me, then his hands on my hips pulling me towards him.
I arched my back, wanting to be closer to him, somehow even more under his touch than just lying on the bed, like I couldn’t bear to be away from his hands, his mouth, all of him and as I felt him moan into me, I felt this intense rush and I couldn’t stop myself saying his name as I sank my hands into his hair, my fingers tangling in his curls.
Whenever I’d had sex before, it was as if I was trying to push myself to come quickly so they could stop, like I was inconveniencing them and wanted to let them get on with something more important, but this time it was more elemental than that: I needed to come, needed to experience the release of everything that had built up inside me.
I couldn’t stop saying his name over and over as his tongue swirled into me and just as I edged towards my orgasm, he murmured my name back and it pushed me right over the edge.
The release was like nothing I’d ever felt before, radiating waves covering my whole body, leaving me panting, desperate to feel it again and again.
‘Fuck . . .’ Josh propped himself up on an elbow and looked at me, the aftershocks still pulsing through my body. ‘Is it always like that?’ He looked starry-eyed, almost disbelieving.
I felt my cheeks flush, shook my head.
‘Just for me, huh?’ He didn’t sound arrogant, or even the slightest bit cocky. Just overwhelmed with the moment.
‘This is starting to feel a little . . . uneven,’ I said, pulling at his T-shirt. ‘It doesn’t seem fair for you to keep your clothes on.’
He grinned at me and rolled over to the edge of the bed, standing to yank his top off over his head, letting his shorts drop to the floor.
All that was left were his tight grey jersey trunks, which left absolutely nothing to the imagination.
I could feel myself getting wetter at the sight of him, everything in me desperate to feel him inside me.
‘You can do the rest.’ He moved back towards me, planting a hand on either side of my shoulder and holding himself up as I completed the task. ‘Now we’re even.’
Gazing up at him as he reached for a condom, I could barely believe this was all happening.
Rolling it on with one hand, he pushed my leg aside with the other so he could tease me slowly before he sank himself into me, the force of it so exactly what I needed that it made my head spin.
I could hear myself letting out sounds that I didn’t even know I knew how to make, burying my face in his broad shoulder so I didn’t feel self-conscious about how intensely I was feeling everything.
But Josh wanted to see it all, leaning back so he could take in the look on my face, feel it all with me.
He watched my expression as he sped up to a more intense pace, holding my hips as he pushed deep inside me, harder, deeper, and all I could do was run my hands over the muscles of his chest, his shoulders, his back, now slick with sweat.
He looked down at me like I was the most miraculous thing in the world and as I rolled my hips I watched his jaw go slack, his eyes flickering with intense pleasure, and I felt my eyes roll back as I came again.
In that moment, I realised I didn’t care how I looked, only cared how I felt, how we both felt.
He closed his eyes, lost in intense concentration, clearly trying to hold back, but it was no use. ‘Shit,’ he said, panting heavily, as exerted from the orgasm as if he’d run a hundred-metre sprint. ‘You’re just too . . .’ He looked at me dreamily, cupping my face in hand. ‘Hot.’
Josh settled himself on the pillow next to me, his breathing steadying.
‘I don’t think anyone’s ever called me hot before,’ I said, rolling over to look at him.
‘Well, they’re idiots.’
‘Clearly you know something they don’t,’ I said, with a shrug.
‘And now I really know it,’ he said as he ran a hand up my thigh.
Falling asleep in Josh’s arms was not something I had ever expected to happen, but as I drifted off, my body exhausted but my mind at peace, I realised it was everything I wanted.