SATURDAY, SEPTEMBER 30, 2023 #4
His mother’s eyes widen with shock at his words but then they narrow, and he sees a rare fury in her expression.
“How. Dare. You.” Her words come out quietly, through clenched teeth.
“Did it ever dawn on you that if you had stayed at that fucking sleepover like you were supposed to, none of it would have happened? Why am I always the one to be blamed for everything?” His mom’s voice grows louder with each word, her fists clench at her sides, and her cheeks bloom red.
“Your dad gets stumbling drunk, flirts with other women, then wanders into the woods, and somehow it’s my fault that he’s missing?
Tell me how that’s possible, Quinn. Tell me how the fuck I’m to blame. Go on, then. Tell me.”
She’s practically yelling now. “Do you think you’re the only one who’s scared that he’s missing right now? The only one who ever suffers? You selfish little—”
His nana puts a hand on his mom’s arm. “Alice,” she says firmly. “Stop.”
His mom, nods, turning away from them all, but not before Quinn sees her face scrunch up with tears.
“Go to bed, both of you,” his nana commands, and Quinn does what he’s told. He works hard to keep his own tears from falling.
Alice
She’s put on a few more layers, along with a coat, and brought out the duvet from her bed. She wraps herself in it and stretches out on the deck chair. Panda is curled into a ball on the ground beside her. Quinn had slammed the door on Panda, refusing to take her to bed with him as he usually does.
She still can’t believe she said those things to him.
That if he had stayed at the sleepover, none of it would have happened.
She had thought it, more than once, but never imagined she’d say it out loud.
Something in her had just snapped. The ever-careful and measured maternal part of her vanished in an instant.
Leaving only a tired, beaten-down, angry woman who was fed the fuck up with criticism.
Her mother had tried to console her after, saying that Quinn would understand in the end, that tensions were running high, that everything would be better in the morning.
Platitudes that Alice didn’t believe but appreciated hearing.
She has no idea if he’ll ever forgive her for what she’s said, but she can’t even think of that right now. Her husband is missing.
She stares at the path leading into the woods. It’s not like him to disappear into nature; he’s not the outdoorsy type. That makes her wonder what drew him in far enough to get lost and not come out again?
She has a knot in her stomach the size of a small boulder.
Her last words to him were awful—just be better.
She’d stormed back into the party after their fight and downed a couple of glasses of wine, purposely keeping her eyes off the back door for his return and staying engaged in conversations until her guests gradually started to leave.
It was when only Libby and Ralph remained that she’d realized Geoff was missing.
She’d thought the whole time that he’d been with Ralph out in his writing studio, likely complaining about her, but Ralph said he hadn’t seen him for at least an hour. Alice said he’d probably passed out on the couch out there and promised to tell him they said goodbye.
When Ralph had left to get the car, Libby had looked Alice right in the eyes and asked, “Are you okay? You seem… on edge.”
“More than usual?” Alice replied with a little laugh that sounded bitter and crackling.
“I don’t know,” Libby said, staring even harder into Alice’s eyes. “It’s different than your usual stuff. Deeper. This is not an easy time in a woman’s life, and it’s okay to admit if you’re struggling.”
Alice was so sick of people talking about menopause. She shook her head. “I’m fine, Libby. It’s just the stress of settling into a new place, that’s all. Give me a few weeks and I’ll be so relaxed and blissed-out from living in the woods you’ll barely recognize me.”
“Okay. If you say so,” Libby answered, sounding unconvinced. “And you’d better be at my Halloween party.”
Alice had reassured her friend that she’d be there, then hugged her tight, not wanting to let her go.
Only once they’d pulled out of the driveway did Alice go looking for Geoff in his writing studio, leaving her mom to put away leftover food.
With one hand on the door, she’d wondered if she might walk in there to find him with a woman, the one she’d seen him sharing a cigarette with earlier.
She felt a wave of nausea at the thought, but also an unexpected rush of adrenaline.
Something akin to a craving for the drama of it all, for the chance to unleash pure fury on him, not just for infidelity but for everything else.
He wouldn’t be able to gaslight his way out of it, not if she caught him with his pants down.
She entered and, finding the cabin empty, was flooded with relief.
She’d gone back into the house to check their bedroom, thinking he’d snuck off to bed.
Not finding him there, she checked the bathrooms, the TV room, and the screened porch.
Only when she’d exhausted every place did she ask her family.
Her mother couldn’t even remember talking to him during the party.
“You know him, always flitting about, sucking up to people,” she’d said. Alice had ignored her and gone into Quinn’s room, hoping Geoff was in there playing videogames with him.
Quinn hadn’t seen him for hours. He tried calling his cell phone, which Alice hadn’t even thought of.
They found it ringing in the kitchen. Then she’d gone into Polly’s room, surprised to find her asleep in her clothes.
She hadn’t wanted to wake her, but she was the only one left who might know where Geoff was.
When Polly told Alice that she’d seen him go into the woods two hours earlier, she’d checked the trail-cam app on her phone.
The video shows him stumbling into the woods and disappearing into the dark. Then calling out “Hello,” but nobody answers. There’s the sound of rustling leaves, and he asks if anyone is there. Then the camera goes to static, just like it did before.
After watching the video, she called the police.
Now, sitting there alone on the back deck staring into the woods, her worry has turned to full-blown fear.
What if something bad has happened to him?
It would be all her fault this time. She’s the one who moved them to this house with fifty acres of forest to get lost in.
She’s the one who chased him across the backyard, scolding him.
She’s the one who has secretly wished him away countless times over the past few years.
A wind moves through the trees around her, making the rustling of dry leaves sound like a million hissing whispers. Panda lifts her head and growls. A shiver runs down Alice’s spine.
“Geoff?” she calls, just in case. The sound of a branch cracking rings out.
She sits forward in her seat, her whole body tensed, and Panda sits up on the deck, both of them staring into the woods—waiting.
The wind settles down and a heavy silence blankets the yard.
Alice pulls the duvet tighter around her and calls Panda up onto her lap.
Alice knows it’s ridiculous, but she just can’t shake the feeling that she’s being watched by something just beyond the tree line, something hidden in the thick dark of the woods watching her suffer.
Quinn
He knew there was no way he was going to be able to sleep until they found his dad, but there was also no way he was going to sit out on the back deck waiting with his mom either.
He can’t believe she said those things to him.
Part of him knows he deserved it. He shouldn’t have blamed his mom for the night of the accident.
Aren’t kids allowed to lash out like that though?
Parents are not.
He tried playing videogames but was too distracted and kept making stupid mistakes that would bring his high score down, so he stopped. Now, in a moment of sheer desperation, he decides to go into Polly’s room.
She’s standing at her bedroom window, staring out at the trees and singing that creepy song about the teddy bears’ picnic.
“What the hell are you doing?” His question makes her spin so fast she loses her balance and has to use the wall to keep herself up.
“Are you drunk or something?” he says.
“No. At this point I’m hungover.” She turns back to her window.
He goes to stand beside her. “Are you looking for Dad?”
“Have you ever noticed that if you stare at the woods long enough you can see things moving in there? I can’t tell if it’s the trees themselves or shadows of the trees or…”
He waits for her to finish the sentence, but she doesn’t. He shrugs in response. Kind of knowing what she’s talking about but not wanting to think about it. They stand in silence for a few minutes, staring out the window.
“Do you think something bad happened to Dad in there?” he asks quietly.
“I think if he was hurt or something the police would have found him. Maybe he did leave the woods and go somewhere else, and nobody noticed. Mom accused him of grabbing some other woman’s ass.”
“They’re so fucked,” he says, his anger surging.
“Yeah, but at least they’re not as fucked as the family who lived here before us,” she says, turning away from the window and flopping down onto her bed.
“Did you listen to that podcast I sent you?”
“Some of it. But it creeps me out. And, like, I want to know but I also don’t want to know. You know what I mean?” She yawns and curls up into a ball like she’s about to fall asleep.
“Do you want to listen to one now, together?” He’s desperate to keep her awake. He doesn’t want to be alone yet.
“I think it will make us more worried. Don’t you?”
He shrugs. “Maybe. Or we might learn something important about this place.”
She shifts over to make room for him and pats the bed. “Okay, sure, but if it gets too intense, we’re turning it off.”