14. Sunday, October 15, 2023 #5
She flushed it all away and then got up and brushed her teeth to get rid of the taste of dirt and grit.
Bending over, she drank straight from the tap.
Only after satiating her incredible thirst did she splash water on her face and come up for a look in the mirror.
Dark circles ringed her eyes and her skin was pale and streaked with dirt.
Her lips were chapped and cracked, and her hair was a nest of tangles with leaves and twigs stuck in it.
She turned the shower on as hot as she could stand and got in.
After pulling all the bits and pieces out of her hair, she shampooed it, then scrubbed her entire body with soap.
Between her legs she was bruised and sore.
Rinsing off, she was hit with another wave of nausea so unexpected all she could do was bend over and puke onto the floor of the shower.
With her bare foot she stamped the brown, chunky vomit down the drain.
Wrapping herself in a towel, she’d shuffled back to bed, her hair dripping wet, her stomach churning.
Burrowing under the covers, she lay on her side, as still as could be to combat the queasiness, trying to piece together her night in the woods.
She had no recollection of walking home or climbing through her window or putting herself to bed.
And the rest of the night was just fragments with no reason or linearity: hearing her sister’s voice in the cave, feeling Gray move inside of her, sinking deeper into the ground, and looking up to see shadowy figures watching.
At the last memory, she’d shot up in bed, her heart pounding.
Alice
When she opens her eyes, it’s just starting to get dark outside.
She’d slept through the entire afternoon.
Somehow, despite the horrific things she saw in the woods, or thinks she saw, she slept a deep and dreamless sleep.
Her entire body aches, but it could be worse; she could have broken bones.
She lies there staring out the window. A bruised October dusk is upon her and the trees of the forest have become black silhouettes, their branches waving slowly in the autumn wind.
What happened in there, she asks herself, knowing she has no answer.
In the safety of her bed after hours of sleep, it feels like a bad dream.
Geoff and her mother are both alive and well, but she also knows what she saw, what she felt.
The chill of the pale flesh of those bodies, the tangle of white hair through her fingers, the stench of damp earth and rotting leaves.
Can hallucinations be that real? she wonders.
The smell of onions cooking reaches her, and a pang of guilt hoofs her in the stomach.
She’s been in bed all day, has barely seen her kids or done anything for anyone, and now someone else is cooking dinner.
Throwing off the covers, she slowly eases out of bed and makes her way to the kitchen.
Geoff is the only one in there, standing at the stove, minding two pots.
She likes to think her family can get along without her, even if they act like they can’t, so she has mixed feelings when they prove that they can.
It’s happening more often now that Geoff has finally started pitching in.
“Hey,” Geoff says softly, as though he’s afraid to break her. “How are you doing?” He leaves the stove to come over to her, putting his hands on her shoulders and gently massaging them.
She nods. “I’m okay. Just feeling a bit sore.” She forces a little laugh. “And like maybe I’m losing my mind.”
He frowns and shakes his head. “Alice, trust me, you’re not losing your mind.”
The confidence in his voice bolsters her. “So, you think maybe I really saw something? I mean, obviously it wasn’t you or my mom, but maybe it was other bodies and the shock of it made me misidentify them. Does that seem possible?”
He smiles, looking like he’s trying to hold back laughter.
“Other bodies? No. That’s not what I meant.
” He goes over to his coat, which is hanging on the back of a chair.
“I meant that I think it’s just a strange, isolated incident and not that you’re going crazy.
” He reaches into the pocket of his coat.
“I went into the woods while you were sleeping and found this.” He holds up her phone.
“I found it in the ferns, and while I was looking, I didn’t see any bodies.
” He shrugs. “I didn’t see anything out of the ordinary at all. ”
“You went in there, Geoff? No! Please, no more. But you don’t think I’m losing my mind?”
He passes the phone to her and shakes his head.
“No. Like I said, it was probably just a one-off. Maybe you lost consciousness after the fall and had a hallucination.” He grabs a bottle of wine from the counter and starts to uncork it.
“I mean, it’s not unheard-of for women your age to have episodes. ”
“Women my age?” The soft pop of the cork punctuates her question and Alice thinks she’s never heard a sweeter sound.
Geoff gets one glass down and starts to pour the red wine.
“Don’t be offended. I just mean that I’ve read that the hormones of menopausal women go haywire.
I mean, it’s crazy what’s been reported.
” He holds the glass of wine out to Alice.
“Sit down and relax while I finish dinner.” She’s not sure whether to feel offended or grateful, whether to tell him to fuck off or do as he says and relax.
He must sense this in her because he adds, “It’s just something to think about.
An explanation that, in my opinion, is better than really losing your mind.
And who knows, maybe I’m full of shit. I think it’s probably best to just put the whole thing behind us.
” He shrugs and moves over to the stove.
“Sometimes things happen in life that are just inexplicable.”
“Like you suddenly making dinner regularly?”
He laughs, unbothered by the dig. “Touché. And that is a gibe from a very clear-minded individual, if you ask me.”
Alice convinces herself that Geoff isn’t being patronizing, that he’s troubleshooting in his very male way, so she sits down at the island to enjoy the wine he’s poured for her. Examining her phone, she’s amazed that there isn’t more damage. Just a small crack in one corner of the screen.
“How on earth did you find this?”
“I walked down there and called your number and then followed the ring.”
“Good thinking,” she says, wishing that she’d thought of that. Although she was sure she’d turned her ringer off for yoga that morning and hadn’t turned it back on. She checks it now and sees that it is off. “Weird. The ringer’s off. Did you hear it vibrate?”
He glances at her over his shoulder looking slightly annoyed. “The ringer was on when I found it. Maybe I turned it off by accident when I was cleaning the dirt off it.” He turns back to his stirring. “What’s with the third degree?”
She looks up quickly. Is she being paranoid or just an asshole? “I’m sorry. The whole thing has me unsettled. I don’t know why I’m questioning you.”
She watches his shoulders rise and fall with a shrug. “It’s okay,” he says, still focused on his cooking. “I understand.” He turns back around with a smile as though she hadn’t insulted him. “I got some fresh shrimp to throw in the alfredo sauce I’m making. I thought it would be a nice treat.”
“Are you joking?”
The pleased expression on his face turns to confusion. “What? Why would I joke about that?”
Alice widens her eyes at him. “Because I’m allergic to shrimp and it will kill me?”
There’s a blankness to his expression that Alice finds very unnerving, as though he’s trying to remember something and that something is her deadly shellfish allergy.
“Well. Yes. I know that.” He doesn’t sound very convincing.
“I meant I’d serve the shrimp on the side for the people who aren’t allergic. ”
“As long as you’re not trying to kill me.” She’s only partly joking. In truth, she’s feeling quite disturbed.
“Of course not. You’re the breadwinner in the family.
” He winks, and Alice laughs in surprise.
In the past, any reference to her being the main provider made him defensive and grumpy.
She appreciates the moment of recognition and decides that the shrimp in the pasta was just a momentary brain blip. She has them all the time these days.
He returns to cooking, and she keys her passcode into her phone to make sure it’s working properly. It opens to the camera app she was using when she fell. There’s a thumbnail photo in the bottom corner that she doesn’t remember taking. She taps on it.
The picture that pops up is a blurry mess. “What the hell?”
“What is it?” Geoff asks over his shoulder.
“When I fell, I had my camera open trying to get a photo of the ferns. I think it must have taken a picture before it hit the ground.”
“Yeah?” He puts down the wooden spoon and comes over to where she’s sitting.
She zooms in on the photo, then zooms out, flips it to the right and then to the left. “I just don’t know how…”
“Pretty blurry,” Geoff says, standing over her shoulder peering down at the phone.
“I think it flipped midair so that the screen was facing up, not down.” She points at the screen. “See? That looks like the tops of trees and some sky.” She zooms in on one corner of the photo. “And that’s me, falling.”
Geoff leans in to get a closer look. “How can you tell?”
“It’s blurry, but look, you can see the gray of the leggings I was wearing, the black of my running shoes, and the green of my windbreaker.
” Alice reaches out for her glass of wine and only then notices the slight tremble in her hand.
She takes a sip, hoping to drown the anxious feeling that’s building in her gut.
“But that’s not the weird part.” She zooms in on another part of the photo.
“Look what’s standing on the ridge. In the exact spot I was before I fell.
” She points at the outline of a person in shadow.