21. The Governor’s Mansion #4
“My mother…” He hesitated, chewing the inside of his cheek. “My mother took issue with my father being a pirate.”
Cecily’s head cocked. “Did she not know?”
Jack stared into the depths of the dressing room.
“He wasn’t a pirate when they married. He wasn’t even a pirate for most of my childhood.
He had little to do with any of that until my grandfather’s death, but my family needed money, so he decided to take up the mantle.
” He ducked his head. “She, uh…her objections destroyed my father when she found out, as he felt he had no choice but to take the captaincy. She said she would rather be dead than be a pirate’s wife, so he stopped for a while, even as our money dwindled.
But it wasn’t enough. Her despair and horror made her sick, and for two years we watched her waste away.
The doctors tried, my father tried, but when she passed… ”
Grief passed over his face, so much like her own.
“She got her wish,” he said reservedly. “I was eight.” He shifted on his feet and cleared his throat.
“I respect my father for all he’s done and how hard he works.
But he has expectations, most of which I can meet, though when it comes to spending my life with someone…
” He scrubbed a hand over his face, but the drawn scars didn’t budge.
“You heard him—sometimes he makes it hard to make any kind of choice. I want to make him happy, and you, and I want to be happy too, but someone’s going to lose…
I just want to make sure it won’t be you.
I want to know I can make you happy. That you won’t come to resent me for being what I am. ”
Forgetting the dresses and finery, she drifted closer, noting the fear in his eyes that she’d never seen before. She couldn’t resent him for the very thing he’d accepted in her. Despicable as she could be, she couldn’t bear to do that.
“I meant it when I said you could have more than this,” he told her, eyes boring into hers. “Would you really give it up for me? A thieving, murdering Copson with a bloody legacy for my inheritance?”
She stood in front of him now, the candle burning between them. She thought of the life her father had wanted for her, and she hoped he would at least be pleased to know that she had found someone who cared for her and would give her the best he could—even if he was a pirate.
Even though she was a pirate.
“If I wasn’t willing,” she said, “I’d be filling my pockets. As it is, there’s only one thing I want in this house.”
He gazed at her solemnly. Held at the mercy of his intense focus, she felt like a book opened to reveal her innermost pages. The ones that had only just been written, the ink so fresh it was still wet and capable of smudging.
But permanent nonetheless.
“You’re beautiful,” he whispered. There was no hint of teasing or lust, and for a moment, Cecily was taken aback.
She’d heard of her beauty plenty before, but not in the way he said it now. It wasn’t intended for his benefit, to flatter her or indicate his interest. He said it like it was for her sake alone, like telling her it was time to wake up. Like telling her she was home.
Home. The word lifted in her mind and heart, and she wondered if it was because of love, or foolishness, or hope that she thought it. She wasn’t sure if it was true yet, or if she wanted it to be. It would be too soon to know such a thing.
At least, it felt like it should be too soon. Still, she knew it anyway.
She studied his fake scars and the real one hidden beneath, and wondered openly what she had once asked in desperation. “Do you think you deserve me?”
The first time she’d asked, he’d given no answer.
She was determined to have one from him now.
After all his questions about her being a lady or pirate, and for all her thoughts about goodness and deserving, she wanted to know what she was to him.
He’d called her a blessing last night, but was a blessing for a pirate less than that of a higher man?
His hand moved beneath her chin, tilting her face toward his. “Does it matter so long as I want you? So long as I have you?”
“Humor me.” The candle flickered as her breath passed over the flame.
“I do deserve you,” he said, boldly and without hesitation.
“And I’ve thought so since the day I saw those bloody teeth and knew I’d be locked in a stalemate with you forever.
” His eyes followed his thumb as it drifted over her bottom lip.
After a moment, he met her gaze again. “You are my equal, Cecily, and for that I deserve you. And it’s neither bad nor good, but I believe it’s for the best—mine and hopefully yours as well. ”
A slow grin spread over her mouth. “A simple yes would have sufficed.”
Jack blew out the candle. Then he plucked it from her grip with one hand as he hauled her, squealing, to his chest. “What am I to do with you,” he said, his smiling lips at her ear.
“Decide later,” she said. “We’re out of time.”
He kissed her cheek and grumbled, “Convenient.”
Nevertheless, he wound his fingers through hers and pulled her from the room.