Chapter 12
Nina felt a hand settle on her spine briefly before she pushed open the door to the room where everyone waited. Finch’s hand. The man who wanted no one and nothing but solitude was there for her. Why that thought above all the others rolling around inside her head got to her, she had no idea.
She’d felt the tension in Finch when she found him upstairs.
The look in his eyes was haunted, and it made her feel even sadder than she already was today.
She wanted to put her arms around his big shoulders and hug him close, not letting go until he was calmer.
Instead, she’d kissed him, which wasn’t her wisest move, as now she knew what his lips tasted like.
“Thank you,” she said, looking over her shoulder as he lowered his hand.
He gave her a small nod, and then Nina walked into the room that held both hers and her mother’s friends. Not family, because she had none of that left—well, other than a worthless criminal for a father and maybe some other relatives that belonged to him.
Not now, Nina. Don’t think about him now.
In the four days since her mother’s death, she’d kept herself busy. Nina had approached Nancy and Hank with an offer, which they’d accepted, and they were happy that Circle Left would now belong to her.
Taking a lot of cash into a bank, but not just any bank, one where the teller had come to your house for playdates as a kid, wasn’t easy. There were questions to be answered, but Nina had worked through them, and the end result was that she owned Circle Left.
For now, things were staying as they were. Hank and Nancy were happy to remain until Nina had planned what she wanted to do, which was a relief.
The sheriff and Dan had advised her to tell people she trusted with the story of her past. There was nothing to be ashamed of, and it didn’t need to be a secret, as she’d done nothing wrong.
That was all on him, her father. But they’d cautioned her not to tell anyone his name, or what hers had been when she’d been born.
Would her father come looking for her?
“We’re all ready now, Nina.”
“Thanks, Hank.” Nina focused on what she needed to do now, today, everything else could wait.
The room was warm and filled with love. Mulled wine and coffee mixed to create a scent that was almost soothing—almost, but not quite. That would come after today. She’d find a way to soothe the hurt inside her, but not yet. Today was for her mother, and Nina owed her the grief she was feeling.
These people were her friends, she thought, looking at the faces around her. People who were here because they loved her or her mother. Today is for you, Mom.
That hand skimmed her spine again, and then she watched Finch walk around her and go to his family, who were standing with the Dukes.
She wanted to call him back, just to keep him close, but she didn’t do that. Nina’s mom had raised her to be strong, and today she’d need to be that more than ever.
Cill came close, sliding an arm around her waist. “How are you?”
They both worked in The Gnat, a one-stop beautifying shop that JD Hopper had created here in Lyntacky.
“Okay.”
“I know that’s a lie.” Cill hugged her close. “It’s time now.”
They had placed chairs in rows for those who wanted to sit. Others stood, all somber and dressed in their best to pay respects to a woman they had cared about.
Nina moved to stand beside Tripp, who wore a black satin square-dancing shirt and matching trousers. His hair was braided.
“Ready?”
Nina nodded, and he began to speak.
“We are here today to celebrate the life of Shirley Leanne Winter.
She came to Lyntacky many years ago and instantly became a treasured member of our community.
If you want to know the essence of who Shirley was, you only need to look at the many people who have come here today to celebrate her life.
“She was someone whose door was always open to anyone who needed advice or just to sit and talk. She was kind and giving, and raised her daughter Nina, to be the same.
“Her love of color was legendary, as was her love of bingo.”
Nina heard the soft laughter and felt the tension inside her ease a little. Tripp was right—today was a celebration of her mother’s life. Nina shouldn’t spend it thinking about what she had withheld from her.
Tripp talked about his memories of her mother and those others had given him to share. Cill kept an arm around her waist from the right, and JD and Zoe stood to her left. In fact, her people surrounded her.
She looked for Finch and found him a few feet away, his eyes on her.
“Shirley, this place will hold your memory the way it held you. Gently, and for a long time,” Tripp said, drawing her eyes back to him, and the tears that hadn’t been too far away began to fall again.
“Just as it will hold your daughter close when she needs us the most. Rest easy now, our friend. Nina is in good hands.”
“Oh God,” Cill whispered, crying hard like Nina now too.
“We’re glad Shirley was here. We’re glad she was ours for as long as she chose to be.”
Nina had been to a few services. They were somber and respectful, and she’d never heard clapping after a speaker, but that was exactly what everyone did.
“And now Nina would like to say a few words,” Tripp said.
She’d written her speech with mixed emotions. The love she and her mother shared was never in doubt, but there was now so much more to think about. Later.
Nina shot Finch another look, and he winked at her. It was so at odds with the man who had come home to Lyntacky, it made her feel better. If he could be here for her today, even though it was hard, she could get up there and talk about her mother.
Wiping her eyes, she drew in a deep, steadying breath.
“Firstly, thank you all for coming,” Nina began.
“I’ve been trying to work out what to say today ever since Mom died.
I kept writing things down and crossing them out because nothing felt right or expressed just what my mom meant to me.
She would have told me to stop overthinking it and just speak from the heart.
“My Mom worked harder than anyone I have ever known. She didn’t acknowledge it, just got on with it every single day. ‘For you and us,’ she used to say when I asked her why she worked so hard.
“Mom had dreams that unfortunately we couldn’t fulfill. Dreams to cruise the Mediterranean and see the world. But her illness took that from her and us.”
Nina thought about the money her mother had kept and why. With it, she could have fulfilled some of her dreams, but instead, she had chosen to save the money for Nina.
Looking up from her phone where she had written her notes, her eyes connected with Finch. He held her gaze briefly, then mouthed the words, “You’ve got this.”
“Mom had a plan for me,” she continued looking back down at her phone.
“I was going to be a doctor, you see, and everything was mapped out from the start. Clearly she thought I’d overcome both my hatred of study and blood, but that was my mother.
Determined. She used to say, ‘Nina, you have good hands and a good head. Don’t waste either of them. ’
“So I became a beautician, and she was in the front row when I got my diploma. After that, she would tell me about every young single doctor that she came into contact with, which thankfully was not many.”
Everyone laughed at that. Nina let her eyes roam over the people listening to her. The Dukes and their newer members, longtime friends who she could call on and they’d be there for her. The McAllisters, the Hecklers—they were all here. Everyone who meant anything to her. She sniffed back the tears.
“Mom had opinions, strong ones, but she loved louder than she argued.
“She gave me a childhood full of things she went without herself. I understand that more now than I did then. Children don’t always see the machinery behind the life they’re living.
The early mornings, the careful budgeting, the quiet sacrifices that never got named.
I see it now, Mom. I want you to know that. I see all of it.
“I am buying Circle Left, as most of you know. I want to say something about that because it matters to me, as this place meant so much to her. Nancy was her biggest champion and friend, as was Hank, so I’m buying it because this was somewhere she loved.”
She drew in another deep breath. Keep it together, Nina.
“Thank you all again for being here to help me celebrate Mom’s life, and Mom, I’ve got this now. You rest.”
People told her stories about Shirley Winters then, some she had known, others she hadn’t, and Nina cherished each one, as she did the glass of mulled wine that kept mysteriously refilling itself in her hand.
She was never alone for a single minute. Someone was always at her side. It was an occasion her mother would have loved.
“Anyone here know how to sing?” someone called out hours later.
“Nope,” Lynx the rock god said loudly. “Unless you want me to sing, Nina?”
He looked like his brother, with subtle differences. Finch was bigger, with harder edges now.
“I’m good. I’m sh-sure it would be like me going to someone’s house and them asking me to give them a facial,” she said. Were her words sounding a little slurred?
“It’s exactly like that,” he said with a straight face, when in fact, it couldn’t be more different.
She giggled, then clapped a hand over her mouth when it came out high-pitched.
“So, you and my brother were sharing a few looks earlier. Anything you want to tell me?” Lynx asked, lowering his voice so only she could hear.
“No, absolushly not.”
“Absolutely?” he teased her, but then the smile fell away. “I’m worried about him, Nina.”
“I know, but he’s home and safe,” she managed to get out slowly.
“Yes, and that makes it easier to cope when I have to leave here again, believe me,” Lynx said.
Nina staggered a little to the right as she tripped over her own feet.
“I’m getting you some water.”
“Good idea,” Nina said as she watched Lynx walk away.
She leaned back on the edge of a table and looked around her. “This is all for you, Mom,” she whispered.
“How are you getting home?”
Turning her head, she met Finch’s eyes. He’d been close, but not too close, all day.
“There are plenty of people about. One of them will take me. Or…” She raised a finger as he opened his mouth. “I’ll stay here, seeing ash—as—I’m the new owner.”
A small smile tugged at the corners of his mouth. “That was a big move.”
“Mom left me money.”
“Nice.”
Nina nodded. “She would be happy with this.” She waved a hand about, accidentally connecting with his chin. “Sorry.”
“All good.”
“She loved it here,” Nina said. “Because of Nancy. They were friends.”
“Water.” Lynx returned to pass her a glass. “Drink.”
She did, taking it and gulping it down.
“And now we’re going to all dance one last time for Shirley!” These words were spoken by Nancy, who was standing on the bar. “Everyone outside into the parking lot now!”
A cheer went up, and soon they were surging toward the door. Music started, and groups formed, oblivious to the cold.
“For Shirley!” Everyone cheered, and Nina started crying again.
“My eyes won’t stop leaking,” she said to Finch, who was beside her.
“Your mom just died, Nina. I’m sure if it was mine, I’d be crying too.”
They both searched for Meadow McAllister, who was dancing with Robyn Duke and her boyfriend Callum. She wore a skirt in the subdued colors of pumpkin and kale, and her jacket was patchwork.
“Where does she get her clothes?” Nina asked. Her head felt a little clearer now she was in the cold air and had drunk water.
“I have no idea, but I’d like to pay them a visit,” he drawled.
For a big man, he moved with grace through the steps that were as familiar to them as any, seeing as they’d been doing them since they were old enough to walk.
“And tell them thank you for making my mom happy and colorful in a world full of gray?” Nina said.
“Not quite what I was thinking, but nice words just the same,” he said.
The dark trousers and shirt looked good on his big body, and maybe he looked a little happier, but it was hard to tell. It could just be his game face for social occasions.
SJ tripped on someone’s foot and stumbled. Finch caught her with both hands on her waist. The woman looked up at him with a sultry smile in place and said something Nina couldn’t hear.
Jealousy was the only word for the emotion that chased through her.
Oh no, that would not do. This man was off-limits, and her life was a dumpster fire right now. Walk away fast!