Chapter 14
She wasn’t sure if she wanted to answer his question, so Nina let the silence settle between them, watching out the corner of her eye as he raised his coffee to take a mouthful. Finch seemed comfortable with quiet, and she envied him that.
While her life had been spent mainly with her mom, if she was on her own, there was usually a radio going. Nina wasn’t sure what that said about her, but she wasn’t keen on absolute silence.
It probably says you don’t like your own company.
“Why did you ask me that?”
“It was just something Sheriff Dans said to me.”
Her chest tightened. “What did he say?”
“He asked me if you had told me anything, and then he said, ‘Do me a favor and keep your eyes out for anyone in town who makes you uneasy.’”
“Wh-why would he ask you that?” She heard the stutter in her own voice and cursed herself for it.
“Because he saw us kissing upstairs when he was getting something for Nancy.”
Nina wrapped her hands tighter around the mug, letting the warmth settle her after those words. “You should go, Finch.”
“I can, or you can tell me why he asked me that.”
“No.”
“No, there is nothing going on that’s worrying him?”
“That—the last one,” she said too quickly.
“That man is one of the best I know. He’s honest, intelligent, and would protect this town with everything at his disposal if need be. If he says something like that, then there is a problem, Nina.”
“He had no right to—”
“I told you he saw you kissing me and clearly thinks there is something between us, although I explained there wasn’t. But my point is, he deliberately spoke to me about you, and I want to know why.”
“It’s not your business,” she said.
He’d seen her throw up in the bathroom, which was mortifying, but right then she didn’t have the strength to care. Exhaustion had her head hitting the back of the sofa. She hadn’t slept much since her mom died because she couldn’t shut down her brain.
“Maybe it isn’t my business,” Finch said, “but then again, maybe it is and I can help.”
She turned to look at him, head still resting. “You can’t.”
Why was he pushing this? Finch 2.0, which Cill was calling this version of the man, was different. He didn’t seem to like people overmuch, and definitely avoided talking to them, so why did he care about what Sheriff Dans had told him?
“I’m not forcing you to tell me, Nina, but it might help if you talk to someone.”
“No offense, Finch, and I’m grateful for the ride home and for you watching over me while I puked, but you’re not really the confiding type. I have friends for that.”
Clearly not offended she didn’t think of him as a friend, he said, “Have you talked to them?”
“No. This—I only just found out.”
“So you’re telling me there is something going on?”
She watched him sip his coffee then. No pressure. Not crowding her. Just patience she hadn’t asked for and didn’t quite know what to do with.
“I’m just not ready to talk about this with anyone, Finch.”
“I won’t share what you tell me, Nina. Hell, I don’t even talk to people if I can help it, most days.”
That pulled a small laugh out of her. She looked down at her mug.
“Come on, I’m good for it. I promise. If you don’t tell me, I’ll have to go back to the sheriff and hound him.”
Nina knew he could be trusted to keep what she said to himself, but did she want him to know?
“Just tell me and get it over with.”
Maybe talking about it all again would help her make sense of everything? Only a handful of people knew, but Dan had told her to talk to her friends. Finch wasn’t really that but still…
“I’m going to tell my friends, but until I do, you can’t tell anyone, Finch.”
“Okay.”
“I wasn’t born Nina Winters.”
She felt him go still beside her.
“Who were you?”
“I don’t—”
“Just tell me, Nina. I won’t share what you say with anyone I promise.”
“I was Christina Falcon. My father was a criminal, but Mom didn’t know that when she married him.
When I was three years old, he was put in prison for drug smuggling.
” She paused, taking a sip of her tea to ease the tightness in her throat.
“When he was imprisoned, Mom left and changed our names. She ended up here. The day she died, Nancy handed me a letter Mom had given her, which explained everything.”
“Christ, that had to be a tough read.”
And then some. “She told me to go to Sheriff Dans, as he knew the full story. He was the one who told me my father got out of prison two months ago.” She swallowed. “He then handed me a box Mom had asked him to hold on to until she had passed. Dan, Nancy, and Hank also know all this.”
“Holy fuck, Nina. This all has to mess with your head.”
It did. More than she’d let herself admit. She nodded. “The box was full of money.”
“And you used that to buy Circle Left?”
“Yes. I talked to Sheriff Dans about it, and he said I should use it for whatever I wanted, as it came from Mom. So, I told Nancy and Hank I wanted to buy Circle Left.” She glanced around the room—her haven.
She heard him whistle softly.
“Sheriff Dans can’t be sure that my father won’t come looking for me. I have a different name, but there’s a chance he may try. I’m his only child.”
“Does Sheriff Dans know where he’s living?”
“Arizona, but unlike when he was in prison, they can’t track his movements as easily.”
She watched Finch as he worked through what she’d just told him. There was something steadying about the way he did it. No reaction, no alarm. Just quiet consideration. She’d have been pacing the room and talking really fast if one of her friends had come to her with this news.
“Did your mom leave with much stuff? Would she have anything that he may come after besides you?”
A chill ran down her spine at his words. “Wh-why would you ask that?”
“My mind is always full of what-ifs. It’s how it works,” he said. “Your father may just want to see his daughter, you, which is understandable, but there could be other reasons. I’m just speculating, but—”
“Wild speculation,” Nina added.
“Maybe.”
“Sheriff Dans wants me to go through Mom’s things and see if there’s any documentation of where she filed the name change.
Because that’s a way my f-father could find me.
” The words my father sounded weird on her tongue.
“But I’m sure I would have known if Mom was hiding something.
My earliest memories here in Lyntacky are that we didn’t have much, and what I packed up from her house were things like photos, books, and knickknacks.
Mom always told me there wasn’t much money when she was with my father, which I now realize may have been a lie, because Sheriff Dans said he had money, as did his family. ”
“Okay, well, that’s good. So maybe your father won’t be a problem. He did close to thirty years inside, right?”
She nodded, not avoiding his eyes as he studied her.
“So maybe if he wants to find you, it’s because he wants to connect.”
“Maybe.”
“It’s a lot, with your mom passing and then finding out about all this other stuff.”
His words didn’t offer sympathy, exactly, and didn’t come close to what she’d heard today, but Nina felt the tears again. It was exhaustion, she told herself.
“Hey.” He took her mug and placed it beside his on the table. “Come here.”
“N-no.”
“Yes.” He picked her up and lowered her onto his lap.
She didn’t fight him because it felt good to be pressed to his solid warmth. She turned her face into his neck and let the tears come, ugly and silent, her fingers curling into the front of his shirt.
“I-I can’t stop crying,” she whispered.
He said nothing. Didn’t rub her back in that circular, mechanical way people did when they didn’t know what else to offer. He just held her, one hand heavy and warm against her back, the other resting on her hip, and let her fall apart against him.
She didn’t know how long they sat like that.
At some point the crying stopped, not because anything was better, but because Nina simply ran out of tears.
She lifted her head.
He was looking at her, but she didn’t see pity. There was something else in his eyes. Something she felt her body respond to.
“Finch—”
“I know,” he said. His voice was low.
“We shouldn’t.”
“No.”
But neither of them moved. And then she made the mistake of looking at his mouth, and everything changed. Putting a hand on the back of his head, she pulled it down and kissed him.
Or he kissed her. She wasn’t entirely sure where one ended and the other began. Only that it started soft and tentative, and then her hand was on his jaw and his tightened around her waist, and the gentleness stopped as need took over.
She kissed him like she was drowning and he was the only solid thing she could hold on to. She kissed him because her mother was gone, and her name had once been Christina Falcon, and the life she’d built suddenly felt unsteady.
He pulled back. “Nina.” Just her name, but rough around the edges. A warning. Maybe to her. Maybe to himself.
“Don’t.” She pressed her forehead to his. “Don’t be sensible right now. I can’t—I just need—” She stopped, closing her eyes. She couldn’t even finish the sentence.
His exhale was unsteady. She felt it against her lips.
“It’s been a long time since I’ve been with a woman, Nina. Since before the accident. You should know that.”
The admission cost him something. She could feel it in the way he held himself, and that slight stiffening in his body as he waited for her reaction.
She drew back just enough to look at him properly. “Finch.” She said his name the same way he’d said hers. Then she brought her hand up, slow, and laid it flat against his chest. His heart was thudding as hard as hers. “I know what I’m doing, so I won’t hurt you, okay?”
His snort was soft, and the tension eased inside him.
He stood, taking her with him. Nina wrapped her legs around his waist and her arms around his neck.
He may have been injured and wasn’t yet back to the man he’d once been, but there was no doubting the strength he still had as he carried her easily down the hallway to her bedroom.
“How did I know you’d have a room like this?” he said, lowering her to the bed.
She watched him switch on one of her lamps and then close the curtains.
“What’s wrong with my room?” Nina studied the floral curtains and matching bed cover. She had two lamps, the shades dark pink, beside the large bed—she was a restless sleeper and liked the space. It was colorful but coordinated.
“Nothing. It’s colorful and sexy, just like you,” he said, coming back to the bed. His jaw was tight and his eye darker than usual.
She reached up and pulled him down on top of her. He kissed her again, slower this time, one hand braced beside her head, the other moving to the robe and parting it.
“I’m glad I didn’t know you were naked under there, or we’d have ended up here earlier, before talking.” His words came out a rasp.
Nina felt him lift her and pull the robe free, and suddenly she was naked and exposed to his heated gaze. She’d never worried about her body. She was just who she’d always been and knew she couldn’t change that. Did she have imperfections? Yes, plenty of them, but they were hers.
His mouth settled at her collarbone, and she stopped thinking about anything but the sensation he was creating inside her. A soft moan slipped from her lips.
Finch drew back to study her body, and there was something in his expression that made her breath catch. Desperation and hunger. She was right there with him.
He cupped her breasts with big warm hands, which had her arching up toward him.
“Beautiful,” he whispered, tracing slow circles over her nipples. He lowered his mouth to hers then, and she threaded her fingers into his hair and held on.
“Finch—” His name came out unsteady against his lips as he eased back again.
“Nina,” he whispered back.
“Take your clothes off now.”
“Please,” he ordered her.
“I’m not one of your men to command.”
She shouldn’t have said the words, but he didn’t flinch or stiffen; instead, a slow smile spread across his face. “My men were far more obedient and easier to command than you could ever be.”
“Whatever. Now strip.”
He sat up and pulled off his sweater, then threw it along with the undershirt onto the floor.
Nina pushed at his shoulder to roll him beneath her, and he let her. Soon she was straddling him, the heat of his gaze branding her.
She touched him, enjoying the feel of his body beneath her palms as she ran them across the breadth of his shoulders and down the hard planes of muscle beneath. Leaning forward, she pressed a kiss to his collarbone, and the fingers on her hips gripped harder.
“Good?”
“So good,” he confirmed.
Nina skimmed a finger along the scar running down his left side, but she didn’t ask how he got it. Instead, she pressed her lips to that, too, and felt the long breath he let out.
“Nina, I’m—”
“Ssh.” She pressed her mouth to his, lying along the length of his body while she took his mouth on a hot, sensual journey that had them both breathless when she sat up again.
Her hands went to the button of his trousers and flipped it open. “Take these off next.”
She climbed off him and watched as he got to his feet and took off his socks and pants.
“Nice ass,” she got out. More than nice in those black shorts. The man was ridiculously hot, and she wanted to touch more of that body.
“You’re the second person to tell me that lately,” he said, turning to face her.
“Who was the first?” Nina looked down the length of him to his erection pressing against the only piece of clothing he still wore. Seeing him so hard and aroused, she wanted him even more than she had just seconds ago.
“Jonathan.”
She couldn’t find a laugh, so managed a nod. Grabbing his hand, she pulled him back down onto the bed until their bodies touched again, but this time it was better because she could feel all of him.
“Are you sure about this, Nina?”
Her eyes moved to his and saw the fire of lust burning.
“We both need this tonight, Finch. I’m sure.”
“Thank God.” He pushed her onto her back and then followed her down.