Chapter 23
When Finch opened his eyes, he wasn’t sure what time it was because the curtains covered the window, but he knew exactly whose head was lying on his chest.
Nina.
Finch would have walked through flames to get to her last night. There was no getting around that fact. The thought of her in a burning house and him not being able to reach her—no, don’t go there. It didn’t happen. Shutting down his spiraling thoughts, he worked through what he knew.
Someone was deliberately targeting her. Jett Hyland had said it could’ve been her hair straightener, but she was adamant she’d not left it on.
Yes, she had a shit ton of stuff going on right now.
Enough to derail any sane person, but Finch didn’t believe this fire was started by her.
The more he thought about it, the more he was sure it had something to do with her father.
Finch felt the moment she woke because her body stiffened. Before that she’d been curled beside him relaxed, one of her arms over his waist.
“Nina, it’s okay. You’re safe here with me.”
She flattened her hand on his chest and pushed upward. Eyes dazed, hair mussed, she looked rumpled and sexy, and what he really wanted to do was roll her under him and wake her up with his mouth, but he wasn’t an animal and could control himself, he reminded his body.
“Hi,” she whispered. “I’d hoped that was a bad dream.”
“Not a dream,” he said, tweaking a strand of her hair.
Her PJs were silky, and Finch knew if he slid a hand underneath, he’d feel her skin, smooth and warm from sleep.
“Want some coffee?”
She nodded, then added, “I don’t have food for Mabel.”
“That’s okay. I have some tuna.”
Nina was the first woman he’d ever woken up with. It felt right having her here in his bed. He wanted more of it, but that wasn’t something up for discussion right then, as they had other things to deal with.
“Let me get you something to wear. My sisters always leave stuff here, things I told them I was chucking out if they didn’t come and get them. So far they’ve ignored me, which is pretty much standard behavior for Blue and Birdie.”
“You’re lucky,” Nina said as he climbed out of bed.
“With those two as sisters?” Finch asked, pulling on some clothes.
“Having siblings and people who love you,” she said softly, and he could hear the longing in each word.
“Nina—”
“I didn’t say it for sympathy, Finch. I said it to remind you that you are lucky and to never stop appreciating who you have in your corner, even when they annoy you.”
She had her back against the headboard now, arms wrapped around her drawn up knees, watching him. Lost, he thought, that was how she looked. Lost and scared, even though he knew she’d deny it. Nina had taken knocks that would have put anyone off their stride, and they just kept coming.
Looking at her sitting there, vulnerable in his bed, he realized something. She was important to him, and he had no idea what to do about that, but maybe he could start by being open with her about what he was going through.
He came back to the bed and sat on the edge of the mattress, looking at her.
“If I’m honest—which I’m trying to be these days—I don’t know how I would have coped without them.
They made sure I had someone with me when I needed it most. Even when I came back after my discharge, Birdie and Dad were there, waiting to bring me home, although at the time, I believed I wanted to be alone. ”
“I’m sorry you had to leave the army, Finch. I can’t imagine what it would feel like having part of your identity ripped away like that.”
He made himself look at her even as he wanted to leave the room and stop this discussion. When Finch let himself think about the life he’d walked away from, it felt like someone was squeezing lemon juice over a hundred cuts on his body.
“Sometimes I feel like I’m lost,” he said slowly. “I didn’t plan for anything else, Nina.”
The mattress moved, and he felt her arms encircle his shoulders. Finch pulled her into his lap, needing her closer.
“Of course you didn’t, because you thought you’d be a soldier until you retired,” she said, leaning her head on his chest.
“Who am I if I’m not a soldier?” The words came out a rasp.
“I can’t tell you what to think, Finch, but I can tell you what I know.”
“What do you know?”
“Plenty, actually.” That made him smile into her hair. “But let me tell you what other people and I see when we look at you.”
“No need—”
“Birdie told me once that your dad was wonderful but gentle. He avoided conflict most of the time, but not you. She said her big brother was strong, way too good at equations, and always there when she needed him to be.”
He listened as she talked, knowing she wouldn’t stop until she was done. Like Blue, Nina was determined, and he knew she’d follow him around until she’d said her bit.
“Blue said that your determination was what told her to never give up when she wanted to. She told me you used to help her with her homework because no one else was smart enough to try.”
“Only because she didn’t want to do it by herself, so I used to make everyone sit at the table and do it together.”
“Organized and disciplined at a young age. Nice work.”
“I’m glad my sisters liked me, Nina, and that’s important—really—but it doesn’t change who I am now. A man with no plan B who is building an extension on a coffee hut and working the bar.”
“And yet what you could be doing is nothing, which is what plenty of people would be doing in your situation,” she countered.
“I went to look at the Burns land.” Why he’d told her specifically that, when only Dan knew, he wasn’t sure, but the words had come out anyway.
“And what did you find?”
Finch could get used to holding her like this. She fit, and wasn’t that a scary thought?
“Land and a house with an outbuilding.”
“Standard stuff for farmland around here, then.”
“Pretty much. Dan told me I should buy it and start a fitness retreat. Something for corporates to come to, and young people who need straightening out—”
“Oh my God, yes!” Her shriek had him wincing.
“Tell me what you really think,” he teased her.
She leaned sideways to look up at him. “This town is growing, and we need to work on the tourism side of things. Growth is important for Lyntacky’s future.”
“Slow down, tiger,” Finch said, running his eyes over her pretty face. “I didn’t say I’m buying the land.”
“But we need to keep the small-town vibe here. That’s important to everyone, especially the older generation,” she continued, like he hadn’t just spoken. “But we also need expansion in a way that works alongside that.”
It was good to see a small spark of excitement in her eyes, even briefly. They had to head into the police station and talk about last night soon, and that would not be easy on Nina.
“Blue has good ideas, and Zoe, too, for the Circle Left. When this shit show that is my life now is cleared up, I’d like to explore the possibilities.”
“We’ll get it sorted, Nina.”
She touched his chin, just a small brush of her thumb, but he felt it everywhere. “You should buy that land, Finch, whether or not you do the retreat. You need a focus, and it would give you that.”
He leaned down and kissed her soft lips, and her response was to lean into him and take everything he gave her. Finch slid his hand under her top and felt the smooth, warm skin under his palm.
“Lynx is in the house,” she whispered, easing back.
“He won’t come in here.”
As if saying his name was a sign for his brother to speak, there was a pounding on the door.
“Sheriff Dans called my phone because yours is off.” Lynx sounded grumpy. “He’s coming here in twenty minutes, and Mabel is missing Nina, so get your lazy asses up.”
“Lynx is not a morning person,” Finch said. “He was hell to get up for school.”
“Did you have to get him up?”
“We shared a room, so when I got up, I woke him.”
“You’re a good guy, aren’t you, Finch McAllister?” Her smile was small, but still packed a punch.
“I’m not sure about that anymore.”
“I am,” she said, touching his chin again.
“Nina, I know all this is hard on you, but I need you to know I’m here for you.”
“Thank you,” she said, looking serious now. “I haven’t forgotten the hell that’s going on around me, but being here with you pushed it back a little, if only for a while, Finch. So thanks for that too.”
He kissed her again, soft and slow, and their lips clung to each other. “Welcome.” He lifted her off his now painfully aroused body. “You want a shower?”
She nodded.
He rifled through the closet and found a pair of stretchy leggings—which must have belonged to Birdie because the legs were too short for Blue—and a sweater. He had no idea who owned that.
“I’ll just clean up a bit first. Then the bathroom is all yours.”
“Okay.” The word sounded small because the fear was returning, he knew.
Nina was strong, but even a strong person would struggle to cope with what she was going through.
Finch washed in the bathroom and then told Nina it was free. He found Lynx in the kitchen, his eyes squinty as he cupped his hands around a mug of coffee like it was a lifeline. Mabel was at his feet, staring adoringly up at him.
“You all good there, bro?” Finch asked, nudging him to one side. He got out a saucer and poured the cat some milk and then found a tin of tuna and emptied that into another bowl.
They’d never owned a cat because his mother didn’t want one killing the birds, but he’d wanted one, and maybe when he had a place of his own, he’d bring a cat into his life.
“You’re an asshole,” Lynx muttered.
“Hey, don’t get angry with me because you’re a night owl. Not my fault you rock star prima donnas sleep all day and party into the early hours.”
“Fuck you.”
His brother inhaled his coffee while Finch made toast and scrambled eggs with bacon, which he hoped his parents didn’t smell, as his mother would lecture him about the life that was taken so he could eat.
“So, Nina?”
“She’s in the bathroom.”
“You know what I mean, Finch.”
“All you said was ‘So, Nina?’”
“Are you two going to have a thing?”
He turned down the heat in the pan so the butter didn’t burn and looked at his brother. “If only your adoring fans could see you now.”
“They’d love me if I walked around in a plastic bag—which I wouldn’t because plastic is bad for the environment—but we digress. Are you two going to have a thing?”
“By thing, do you mean relationship?” Finch asked, stalling for time.
“That.” Lynx jabbed a finger at him.
Finch went back to his eggs. “Butter that toast.”
His brother shuffled to the toaster and lowered his mug onto the countertop.
“And I don’t know. Honestly, I’m not really in a good place to think about anything like that, but—”
“You can’t know when love is going to slap you hard in the face,” Lynx added.
“No one said anything about the L-word, bro.”
“Didn’t have to, I have eyes, don’t I? You only ever show this kind of emotion for your family because you love us. Ergo, you love her.”
“Ergo?” His heart rate had just increased at his brother’s words.
“Morning, Lynx.”
The McAllister brothers turned as one and looked at Nina. Her hair was wet, she wore his sister’s clothes and his socks, and right then Finch knew his brother’s words had a ring of truth to them.
What he was feeling was very possibly a lot more than like, and Finch wondered how it had crept up on him so fast.