Chapter 26
They’d carried all of her things into the cottage when they’d returned. The scent of smoke lingered, but after a ride on the back of his pickup, it wasn’t too strong.
“You moving in, Nina?” Lynx joked as he staggered inside with a suitcase full of her clothes.
“No way could I live with you two,” she said, staring at the pile Finch was standing beside in the middle of the living area. “But I am grateful to you both for stepping in to look out for me and letting me stay here.”
“Why can’t you live with us? We’re house-trained,” Finch protested.
“I have never lived with anyone but my mother, and she had the same habits as me.”
Finch took in the dark smudges under Nina’s eyes and the tension in her that had her shoulders raised.
She was coiled tight, like a spring wound one turn too many.
There was only so much a person could take, and Finch was sure she was reaching her breaking point, especially after seeing the damage to her home.
He’d watched her stand in the wreckage, dry-eyed and steady, which was the way she wanted people to see her coping.
It was only now that the cracks were starting to appear, if you knew where to look.
Finch did know, having been through a whole heap of trauma himself, he’d perfected the art of hiding his emotions.
“I’m heading into town to pick up some food. Message me anything you need,” Lynx said, grabbing his keys and jacket.
The front door closed minutes later, leaving them alone.
“Nina—”
“I’m going to shower off some of this smoky stench.” She didn’t exactly run after those words, but it was close.
Finch let her go and carried her suitcase into his room, setting it down at the foot of the bed. Then he stood for a moment in the doorway, listening to the pipes groan as the water came on down the hall. He thought about all the things he wanted to say to her, but wasn’t sure how.
He headed for the bathroom. There were no locks on the doors in a McAllister house, which right then he had to say he was glad about.
The shower was running, but she wasn’t in it—she was standing just outside the spray, naked, arms wrapped around herself, staring at the tile floor like it might tell her what to do next.
All that beautiful flesh was covered in goose bumps that she seemed oblivious to, steam curling up around her and coming nowhere close to warming her.
“Hey.” Finch moved in behind her and wrapped his arms around her body, pulling her back against him. Running his hands up and down her arms, he tried to chase the chill out of her skin. “You’re freezing. Water’s right there.”
“I know.” She didn’t move toward it. “I’ll get in soon.”
“Okay.” He didn’t push her, and just held on, his chin resting against the crown of her head.
“I always have a plan,” she said finally, her voice cracking on the last word.
“I always know what to do, Finch. There isn’t a single thing in my life I haven’t had a contingency for.
But I don’t have one for this. I don’t know what to do, and it’s not my fault.
None of this is, but I still can’t fix it. ”
He felt something in his chest twist at the rawness in her voice. Nina, who never let anyone see her rattled, finally cracking open in his arms.
“That’s how I felt after the accident,” he said quietly. “In fact, it’s how I’ve felt ever since. Like you’re standing on the sidelines of your own life, watching everyone else move through it while you’re stuck. But in my case, it was my fault.”
“No.” She turned in his arms to look up at him. “I heard it wasn’t your fault. A deer ran out in front of your vehicle.”
“Maybe, but I should have been concentrating on the job at hand.” Finch stroked the hair back from one cheek, his thumb lingering against her jaw.
“What are we doing, Finch. We’re both broken. Are we just looking for a distraction?”
He studied her face for long seconds working through what he needed to say. He had to be honest with her now.
“You’ve been on my mind for a long time, Nina. Longer than I’ve wanted to admit. I just kept telling myself it wasn’t the right time and couldn’t go anywhere, and that if it went wrong, we would see each other constantly when I came home on leave.”
He’d shocked her silent. Her mouth opened, then closed again twice.
“Yes, we’re broken, but I can feel myself healing inside, and I know you’re part of that.”
“But our lives are a mess, Finch.”
“I know, and I’m not sure what I’m trying to say but I need to explain how I feel.
” He brushed his knuckles along her cheek.
“Watching you almost lose everything tonight made me realize how stupid it is to keep sitting on things that matter. Maybe because standing here with you, after everything, is the most certain I’ve felt about anything since the accident.
For once, I don’t care about my problems because yours are more important. Your safety is more important.”
Her eyes locked on his, but Finch couldn’t read anything in her expression.
He slipped his fingers into her hair. “I want you, Nina—a lot. I have no idea what that means, but for now, it’s enough.” He then kissed her.
It started slow, careful, like he was giving her every chance to pull away.
She didn’t. Her hands fisted in his shirt instead, dragging him closer, and the kiss went from careful to all-consuming in the space of a single breath, hot and open-mouthed, her fingers sliding from his shirt to his jaw to the back of his neck like she couldn’t decide where she wanted to hold on to him.
“Finch.” His name came out broken against his mouth. “I don’t want to think anymore today. I just want—”
“I know.” He pulled back only far enough to look at her, to make sure this was real and not just exhaustion and adrenaline talking. “I know what you want. I want it too. But I need you to know I’m not going anywhere after tonight. This isn’t me taking advantage of a bad day.”
“I know that.” Her hand found his jaw again, steadier now. “I’ve known you my whole life, Finch McAllister. I know exactly who you are.”
Her eyes locked on his, and had he not seen the heat, he wouldn’t have done what he did next. Finch walked her backward, lifted her onto the vanity top, and then stepped between her thighs. He wanted this woman with a desperation that robbed him of every other thought.
His hands came to her breasts, and then he set about showing her exactly what she meant to him.
Kissing his way down her body, he worshipped every inch, and when he knelt between her thighs, Nina was panting hard, her fingers in his hair.
“I need you now, Finch.” The words were tight with tension. “Now!” She tugged hard on his hair.
He ran his tongue along the damp seam between her thighs, and she shuddered, so he did it again and again. Pushing fingers inside her he continued to torment her until she shuddered out a release.
“Get up here now,” she rasped. “I want to feel you inside me.”
As he was just about cross-eyed with need, he did exactly as she asked.
After quickly removing his clothes and then finding his wallet, Finch pulled out the condom he’d replaced after the first time they’d slept together and ripped the foil.
She took it from him and rolled it slowly onto his erection.
“Fuck, that feels good, Nina.”
She then reached for his hips and pulled him close. Seconds later he was sliding into her slick, wet heat, which drew a low moan from both of them.
Go slow, he told himself, easing out and back inside her again. The feeling of her muscles tightening around him was almost too much. Nina let him set the pace until she was ready for more.
“Faster. Harder,” she panted. Her hands were now wrapped tight around his back, her breathing warm against his skin.
“I’m never going to get enough of you, Nina.” He increased his speed. Steam filled the room as he drove into her again and again, her cries and his moans driving him on. When she cried out his name, her orgasm slamming into her, his followed two thrusts later.
Panting, Nina laid her head on his shoulder, her limbs wrapped around him, and slowly their heartbeats calmed down, and for the first time, the cold inside him was completely gone. No more knots of pain, confusion, or fear. He felt like he was beginning to feel whole again.
“I should be a wreck right now,” she murmured. “But being in here with you after great sex, I don’t have the energy.”
“That about sums up how I feel.” Finch’s fingers traced lazy circles against her bare shoulder.
She tipped her head back to look at him. “I think that’s on you because of what we just did.”
“I’ll take the blame for that one.” He pressed a kiss to her forehead.
Finch carried her into the shower and then lowered her to her feet because he couldn’t hold her forever, even if he wanted to.
They washed, and then he got out, leaving her to do whatever else women did, and headed to his room. After dressing, he went into the living area and loaded wood into the stove.
Crouching, he stroked Mabel’s head. The cat started purring loudly.
He heard the door to the bathroom open and the one to his room close. Finch liked knowing Nina was in his house—well, not technically his, but having her close felt good.
Should he buy the Burns land? The ideas Dan had given him had taken root, and the more he thought about them and the more notes he wrote, the bigger the small kernel of excitement inside him grew.
Then there was the fact that Nina thought it a good move on his part.
Not that she had any say in what he did. But maybe she would?
He hadn’t felt anything close to excitement in months.
Nina was changing him, or more importantly, what he felt for her was.
“Out here, Finch! And bring Nina!”
That was his mother yelling his name, which usually meant she wanted him to do something his father couldn’t.
He grabbed his jacket because it was bloody freezing and then stomped his feet into the boots that were at the back door.
Stepping outside, he closed the door to stop the heat inside from escaping, and looked at his parents’ house.
His mother was standing on her deck, waving at him through the trees.
“What’s up, Mom?” he yelled back.
She just proceeded to make hand gestures, which told him precisely nothing.
Finch jumped off the deck and made his way across to his parents’ house through the shrubs, randomly planted fruit trees, and the occasional bunch of spinach that was put there, because his mother had decided that exact spot felt right for it.
The McAllister land had no cohesion, and yet his mother said everything was where it should be, which made sense to McAllisters, but no one else.
Jumping a low bed that had been prepared for spring planting, he reached the rear of his mother’s house and stopped.
“It’s freezing” were the first words that came out of his mouth as he studied the scene before him. “Have you all lost your minds?”