Chapter 4
The small grains of rice bite into my knees like shards of glass as I kneel against Ricky’s desk, his hand firmly placed on top of my head like a prized pet.
I have no idea how long I’ve been kneeling here but the last time I moved, I was given a swift back hand from Ricky, so now I’m frozen in place.
Keeping my eyes trained on the thin fibres that make up the threadbare carpet, I listen in on the conversation between Ricky and Nico.
The very same man who drove me and Ricky to our wonderful first date, the man who also ran me off the road to bring me here.
I can’t believe I was so blind, so stupid to think everything was perfect.
Those rose tinted glasses very quickly became high definition and my husband showed me his true colours, and those colours are dismal and dark, void of all life.
“We sold ten girls on Selection Day, boss, a total of thirty grand.” Nico says like it’s an everyday conversation as he cuts the end of his expensive cigar.
I can feel my ears burning at the mention of the other women, my mind instantly worrying about Emily.
I didn’t see her after she found me in the crowd, I just hope I get to see her again.
“Good. When’s the next shipment coming in?” Ricky asks, his fingers rubbing against the top of my head like a dog.
“We’ve got a crate of snow coming in at the end of the week, along with a couple of girls.”
“How old?”
“Between sixteen and twenty, boss. Prime cuts.” Nico chuckles out and my blood runs cold at the thought of young girls coming into a place like this, knowing they’ll probably never make it out alive.
Tears well in my eyes and I accidentally shuffle on my knees to evenly distribute the pain. Ricky notices my movement and thrusts his fingers into my hair to yank my head back.
“Have you not learnt anything?” He spits out between gritted teeth, his hot breath blasting over my face but I keep quiet, my eyes burning with rage. “Answer me you fucking bitch!” Ricky yanks my head at an awkward angle that causes me to yelp at the pain.
“So the bitch does make a noise eh?” He taunts.
Immediately I grit my teeth together until my jaw begins to ache, heavy breaths firing out of my nose.
“Nico, leave us.” Ricky spits out in rage.
“Yes boss.”
I watch from the corner of my eye as Nico leaves the makeshift office, leaving me alone with my husband.
I’m not even given a moment of reprieve before I’m pulled up from the floor, the grains of rice biting into my knees, then I’m thrown over the desk again, the contents on the surface crashing to the floor.
The robe that covers my body is ripped away from the back, leaving me naked and I can hear the telltale sign of Ricky’s belt buckle clanging together as he pulls it open.
The expensive gold has become a constant haunting sound.
“It seems my little wife doesn’t understand the meaning of keeping still now does she?” Ricky taunts behind me, his voice like toxic venom as my bones tremor under my skin and I dig my nails into the worn wood of the desk.
I feel Ricky’s body heat behind me as he plasters his front to my back, his mouth barely grazing my ear and I do everything I can to keep still.
I squeeze my eyes shut and prepare for the abuse that I know is coming.
His breath is hot on the side of my face as he whispers into my ear.
“Let’s see how loud you can scream for me. ”
In an instant, the coldness of the office hits my naked skin before the crack of his designer leather belt strikes against the centre of my back.
The sound hits me before the pain, but once it does, my whole brain malfunctions as the burn from the leather spreads throughout my system like lava.
It reaches the tips of my fingers and toes then radiates outwards.
I hiss from between my gritted teeth because I refuse to cry for this wretched man. I refuse to let him break me to nothing. It’s probably stupid on my part but I’m already at the bottom of the pit, there’s nowhere left for me to go.
“I think we can do better than that.” Ricky says with a voice full of malice and I brace myself for the next blow.
Immediately the sound splits the air in half before the belt lands a heavy blow on my back again, causing me to fall to my already abused knees, my nails digging into the desk until I can feel them crack and break.
A heavy whimper leaves my mouth but it’s not a scream like Ricky is after, and I already know another one is coming. He won’t be happy until I’m wailing in agony.
My back burns as thick rivulets of blood rain down my split skin, the wounds already throbbing so loud I can hear it in my ears, the room spinning behind my heavy eyelids.
Ricky comes to stand at the side of me, belt in hand as he pulls my limp body back over the desk and I fall on the hard surface in a heap.
I feel the moment his mouth touches the shell of my ear but I don’t even have the energy to recoil from his touch.
“You will scream.. louder, until I’m satisfied.”
His body heat is there for a second, then it’s gone and the abuse begins all over again. Blow after blow until I’m handing my voice over to him, screaming in agonising pain but I’m not crying. No tears will grace this face whilst my husband is alive.
He can beat me down to nothing, tear my insides open and bleed me dry but I’ll never shed another tear for him.
My physical body might be here in hell, but my soul is locked up tight in Rockford, a small town in the middle of nowhere with a man who will scorch the earth to ash to find me and I owe it to him to keep that part of me alive, even if my body doesn’t make it, he’ll always have that part of me.
Black clouds obscure my vision as I’m dragged out of the office, my toes scraping across the concrete floors of the tunnels.
I’m not even sure I can feel the pain anymore, my whole body feels numb, like it’s floating above the clouds in a dreamless state but what I can feel is the blood that’s pouring from the open wounds on my back, it’s warm and sticky as it soaks into my skin.
I wonder if it will kill me.
I guess that would be nice.
To not feel anything anymore.
The sounds of gasps and quiet whimpers bring me back to the present and I shove the toxic thoughts away, refusing to listen to the voices that have somehow seeped into my mind. I can’t think like that. I need to keep myself together.
Lifting my head the best I can, the cages come back into view and I’m kind of grateful for them. At least Ricky will leave me alone here for a while.
The guards carrying my heavy body, place me into my open cage then swiftly lock the iron bars behind me, signalling my captivity once again and I fall onto my side, feeling weaker than ever.
“Oh my God, Ana! What happened?”
Emily’s voice rings through the haze and I do my best to face her but she stops me in my tracks as she shoves her arm through the shared bars to place it on my shoulder.
“No. Stay there, please don’t move. Who did this?” She whispers, her voice so full of concern that it stabs into my heart. She shouldn’t have to worry about me, no one should. I got myself into this mess by marrying that fucking psycho. This is my fault.
“It.. it was my husband.” I mumble.
“Your husband? I thought you had a boyfriend?” She questions and I can understand her confusion. I never wanted anyone to know about Ricky, about the power he has over this place but I know she will find out soon enough.
I nod. “Yeah. My husband runs this hell hole. I’d spent a long time in an abusive relationship with him until I ran away, that’s how I met Dean. The car crash was my husband’s fault. I thought I could run from my demons, but it turns out they were a lot quicker than me.”
My throat tightens at the memories of the crash. The screeching metal that reverberates around my head on a daily basis as I smashed into the barrier.
Stepping out of the small coffee shop, the summer sun low over the horizon, I bring Ellie in for a hug, her familiar floral scent invading my senses.
“I’m so glad to see you’re alive, and happy too!” She says, her face so full of love.
“Me too. I’m so sorry I didn’t tell you sooner.” I say into her flame hair and she squeezes me tightly. “Don’t be silly. You don’t owe me any answers. It’s in the past now and you’re here, alive, and that’s what matters.”
I nod before pulling back and grabbing my phone from my back pocket, noticing a text from Dean to let me know that he’s already on his way back from work. A smile passes across my face before I slip my phone back into my pocket. I’ll send him a text once I get in the car.
“I better go. Jake’s taking me out for dinner. Please let me know when you’re home, yeah?” Ellie says with her keys in her hand.
“Yeah. I’ll let you know.”
Giving her one last hug, I walk across the quiet road to where I parked my car and slip in behind the wheel to let Dean know that I’m on my way home. Once the text is sent, I place the phone into the centre console, buckle myself in and head out.
The roads are pretty silent at this time with the odd car cruising along the quaint streets until a larger vehicle pulls up right behind me, its headlights blinding in the rearview mirror.
I try to swerve to the side to let the driver go but they stay put behind me, almost bumper to bumper.
I’m driving a little bit over the speed limit so it’s not as if I’m holding them up, so what’s their deal?
Turning the wheel slightly, I pull further to the side to see if they will pass, and again, they don’t, which immediately has my anxiety on high alert, causing me to grip the steering wheel tightly.