Chapter 25
STRAYING FROM THE PLAYBOOK
JASON
Things at home felt more mundane every time I was there, except the night Natalie surprised me, kissing me awake. We had intense sex, something we both needed and hadn’t experienced in a while. But unfortunately, that night passed as quickly as it came, leaving little behind.
Work had so much more meaning to me than home.
I couldn’t help it. And, my connection with Shannon kept growing.
She made me laugh. She was really into sports, unlike Nat.
We’d catch up on game scores, sometimes leaving a game on in the background while we finished work.
We bantered about her being a Mets fan and me being a Cubs fan; the rivalry adding an easy familiarity to our conversations.
She made me feel awake in a way I hadn’t in a long time.
There was always something to talk about.
With Natalie, I came home and just went through the motions.
I loved my kids, none of that ever felt forced, but with Natalie and me…
the passion was gone. Was it my growing crush on Shannon, or was this just who we had become?
On my last night before heading home, Marcus leaned back in his chair and stretched.
“I’m spent. We need drinks tonight. I need to get laid and take some heat off.”
Shannon scoffed, “Marcus, you’re disgusting, but I could use a drink.” She turned to me. “Jason, you in?”
“Sure,” I said.
I sent Natalie a quick text.
Jason: Going out with Marcus for a drink. I’ll text you tomorrow when I’m up and on my flight.
A few minutes later, she responded with a thumbs-up; the new standard for us when I was away.
We headed to The Campbell in Midtown, a place I liked for its old-world charm.
Plus it wasn’t too loud and you could actually have a conversation.
Once we got settled with drinks, Marcus was already scanning the room for prospects.
He spotted a group of four women in the corner and stood up. “Excuse me, ladies and gentlemen.”
Shannon rolled her eyes, “Oh, God.”
She shot me a look and laughed.
“Yeah, Marcus is on a mission. The only time I’ve ever seen him semi into a girl was with my sister-in-law Meredith.”
“Sister-in-law?” Shannon repeated.
“Yeah. Natalie has one sister. She actually lives in Manhattan, but she spends a lot of time visiting Natalie and the kids.”
Shannon hesitated for a second. “Oh.”
She looked like she wasn’t sure what to say next. Like the idea of me having a sister-in-law upset her somehow.
We never really talked about my family. Neither of us wanted to acknowledge that part of my life, so we could keep pretending that whatever was happening between us wasn’t crossing any lines.
“You don’t really mention your wife,” she said, sipping her drink.
A tightness settled in my chest. I swirled the ice in my glass and exhaled. Change the subject, Jason. “Let’s talk about something else,” I said.
Shannon raised an eyebrow. “How about how the Rangers beat the Blackhawks in overtime?”
I groaned, shaking my head. “You really want to rub that in, huh?”
“Obviously,” she said, grinning. “I mean, I could be nice about it, but where’s the fun in that?”
I chuckled, leaning back against the barstool. She was good at turning tension into light conversation, making things feel natural. Maybe that was why I liked being around her so much.
She nudged her drink closer to mine, the rim of her glass brushing against mine for a fleeting second. A small, innocent movement, yet I felt it like a jolt to my system.
God, she was beautiful, and I wanted to kiss her, to see what those lips tasted like, to feel her soft, full breasts pressed against my hand.
Shit.
I glanced toward Marcus. I needed him to come back. “Should we check on my boy over there?” I asked.
“He looks like he’s doing just fine,” she said.
Marcus was sitting with the women, making them all laugh.
All the same, when I got up, so did she. We crossed the crowded room to Marcus.
“Hey,” Marcus greeted us, just a little too loudly. “This is Jason, my boss.”
One of the women, a redhead, tilted her head. “Aren’t you handsome?”
A blonde with a short bob looked from Shannon to me and back again. “Are you two a thing?”
“Oh, no. He’s married,” Shannon said.
Her words caught me off guard. I should have felt relieved. Instead, it was like a slap in the face.
The redhead pouted. “Oh, too bad.”
“Married,” the blonde repeated, her voice dripping with something between disappointment and mockery.
“Right, right,” the redhead said, trailing a finger along the rim of her glass. “Still, I could eat you up.”
“Nice to meet you, too,” I said, trying to laugh it off.
“Oh, the pleasure is all ours,” the redhead purred.
Shannon set her glass down and straightened. “I’m calling it a night.” Looking to Marcus, “Try not to get yourself into too much trouble.”
Marcus grinned. “No promises.”
That was my cue, I clapped him on the shoulder. “See you tomorrow.”
With that, Shannon and I stepped out into the cold Manhattan night.
The warmth of the bar was gone, and reality settled back in. I pulled out my phone to order an Uber, but Shannon stood beside me, arms crossed over her coat.
“What was that?” she asked after a beat.
I exhaled. “What was what?”
She turned to face me fully, her expression unreadable. “In there. The way you…” she trailed off, shaking her head. “Never mind.”
I stared at her for a moment, then looked down the street, watching headlights blur through the city. “This isn’t something we should be talking about.”
Shannon let out a short, humorless laugh. “Right,” she said. “Because you’re married.”
The way she said it wasn’t a reminder. It was an accusation.
My jaw tightened. “Yeah, I am.”
She looked at me then, really looked at me. “Are you happy?”
The words hit me like a punch to the gut. I swallowed. “I can’t discuss this, Shannon,” I said finally. “She’s a good person and the mother of my children.”
Her lips pressed together. She nodded, but her shoulders stiffened. My Uber pulled up to the curb. I hesitated.
“Do you want me to wait until you get a ride?”
“I’m fine,” she said, voice flat.
I knew she wasn’t, and I hated the part of me that cared. She didn’t move. The air between us felt heavier now, like there was more to say but no good way to say it.
Shannon finally exhaled, shifting her weight slightly. “Have a safe flight, Jason.”
I nodded, gripping the door handle. “Good night, Shannon.”
She gave the smallest of nods before turning away, disappearing into the glow of a streetlamp.
I got into the car, shutting the door behind me.
The driver pulled away. A part of me wanted to tell him to stop.
To get out and follow her. To pull her into me and kiss her, to feel the heat of her body against mine, to bury myself so deep inside her that I forgot who I was.
Instead, I sat still, staring blankly ahead as the driver pulled into the slow crawl of late-night Manhattan traffic. I clenched my fists against my lap, my breathing unsteady. I stared out the window, with my reflection blending into the blur of city lights.
When I got to my hotel room, I went straight to the sink and splashed cold water on my face.
I stared at my reflection. What the hell am I doing?
Guilt settled in my stomach like a stone. I hadn’t done anything technically wrong, but the way I felt…I just hadn’t done anything technically wrong yet.
Tomorrow, I'd wake up and be a better man, I promised my reflection. I’d go home to my family. I’d be the picture-perfect husband and father, and everything would be fine.