Chapter 28
UNDER THE INFLUENCE
NATALIE
My sister Meredith is a freelance photographer, mainly in fashion. When I worked in design, she did some design photos, and they turned out beautifully, but fashion was her thing. In a way, it always has been.
She was gorgeous with full lips and long curly dark brown hair.
She took after my dad, while I took after mom, but we both had long hair and once gave each other haircuts so horrible that to this day I watch my kids whenever they have scissors to make sure no one gets out of hand playing beauty salon.
Meredith and I have always been close, but we got even closer during my parents divorce.
My parents were never happy together. Dad made a lot of money selling insurance, and I guess that was good for a while, but eventually, my mom had had enough and left him, or rather all of us.
She left right before I turned sixteen and Meredith was fourteen. Then, my father remarried.
Veronica was ten years younger, she redid every square inch of our home, and while she acted like we were her beloved daughters in front of him, whenever he wasn’t around, she ignored us or made us feel like we didn’t belong
She revamped every inch of our home, making it dark and gaudy. No wonder Meredith and I both spent so much time focused on making ourselves and our homes look the way we wanted them to look.
As soon as we were both old enough to go to college and move out, we did just that, realizing we could only rely on ourselves.
Meredith really was the most independent person I knew. She called the shots, and people listened. She was funny and brilliant. I was so honored she was not just my sister but my best friend. Right now, I needed her humor and charm to get me out of this sinking ship I felt I was sailing.
When Meredith arrived the next day, the kids were thrilled to see their cool aunt. She brought Bebe the cutest outfit and jewelry and more Legos for James. I don’t know how she had time to pick any of this up before she came, but she always was magic.
I told Jason, Meredith would be staying here for a week. All he said in reply was, “That’s great.”
But I think this also gave him the idea of staying at work longer with Danny, or maybe Shannon.
He asked if it was okay if he went straight from his boy’s golf trip in Arizona to New York where he’d be meeting with Marcus for the next week.
I said it was fine. I didn’t even care at that point. Meredith was here.
We spent the day relaxing in the hot tub and playing card games with the kids. Meredith took photos, which I loved. She knew how to capture memories in a way that you think only your soul can feel.
That night, we had a dance party with the kids, playing Taylor Swift and Whitney Houston super loud. Then after the kids went to bed, Meredith went into Jason’s office to look for some weed.
“He doesn’t have any of that,” I said.
“Sure he does. Over the summer, we got baked in here.”
I burst out laughing. “Always the last to know.”
“Jackpot,” she said, rooting around in his file cabinet. She pulled out a big fat joint.
We sat outside on the porch, started the fire pit, and got under some blankets.
“So,” she said, “Honestly, Jason is being a prick. I think we should get you some evidence on this Shannon girl, and then you go have a fling with that hot dad.”
“It’s not that easy. He has a bunch of kids, and I have kids to think about, too. We both come with a lot of baggage.”
She repeated the word, “Fling.”
“I don’t think he is a fling kind of guy.”
“Well, he is absolutely loaded and handsome,” she said. “I looked up every detail about him. Not that Jason isn’t those things, but Jason has a stick up his ass. He never has fun with you. Maybe he’s saving himself for fun with this Shannon.”
I scoffed. “We have fun. We had great sex last weekend. We did it on the couch.”
“Snore,” she said. “Will would do you wherever. Guaranteed. You haven’t been around the block. Your oats have not been sown, girl.”
Meredith went to get us some wine.
Me, I picked up my phone and flirted with Will. I knew it wasn’t good, but I did it anyway.
Natalie: Hey, you!
Will: I thought you were writing me off.
Natalie: I thought so too.
But I couldn’t stop thinking about that kiss, that spark between us that hadn’t gone away, no matter how much I tried to ignore it.
Natalie: That kiss
A moment passed and then he wrote:
Will: I can’t stop thinking about what else I want to do to you.
Meredith came back with a bottle of wine and saw the look on my face.
“You’re texting him, aren’t you?” she asked, her voice a mix of amusement and encouragement.
I nodded like a guilty kid. “I know I shouldn’t.”
“Let me read it!” she squealed. After she wrestled me for my phone, she leaned in with a devilish grin playing at her lips. “You need to go over there and feel something exciting.”
I shook my head, even though a part of me wanted to go. “His kids are there. It’s not the right time.”
She shrugged, unfazed. “Tell him the truth. Go to him.”
I could feel the pull, the temptation. I typed,
Natalie: I am under the influence…of my sister. She gave me a hall pass to come over. Should I take it?
Will: Damn, I want you, real bad. But it’s my weekend with the kids. Think that hall pass is still valid on Monday?
I stared at the text. Monday felt too far away, and I hesitated before typing back.
Natalie: We’ll see. Night.
I added a kiss emoji, but a heavy weight sat on my chest.
I wasn’t good at this. The whole thing, this mess I was creating, felt like it was spiraling out of my control. I was digging myself deeper, but the allure of what might happen next was pulling me further in.
I sighed, the high was starting to wear off, replaced by the gnawing guilt. “Meredith, what am I doing?” I asked softly, the question hanging in the air like a shadow.
“You’re living, Nat. You’re finally doing something for yourself.”
But I knew better. This wasn’t living. This was…something else. It felt like I was playing with fire, and I wasn’t sure how long I could keep it from burning me.