Chapter 55
LETTING GO OF PERFECT
NATALIE
Imet Lori for lunch the following week. From the moment we sat down, we hit it off.
She was sharp and direct, with no time for small talk, yet she had a way of making me laugh without even trying.
Her mannerisms were distinct—sophisticated, fast-talking, unapologetic.
Her New York energy stood out against California’s laid-back rhythm, and I loved it.
Her enthusiasm was contagious. As she talked about the city center project, I found myself mentally sketching ideas before she even finished her sentences.
“Let’s start with the restaurants,” she said, waving a perfectly manicured hand.
“Get the big stuff flowing. I want cohesion: patterns, textiles, wallpapers, all of it. It’s a premium location, so everything’s got to look like it belongs.
We’ll keep it uniform but still chic. You can handle that, right? ”
“Absolutely,” I replied, scribbling furiously in my notebook to keep up.
She mentioned a real estate agent handling the leases, saying I’d eventually meet with the new tenants to help bring their visions to life. I couldn’t help but wonder if that agent might be Will. She didn’t drop a name, but this opportunity had him written all over it.
Still, I pushed that thought aside. This wasn’t about Will. This was about me.
That evening, I returned home to an empty house. The kids were with Jason for the weekend, and for the first time in weeks, the solitude didn’t feel heavy. It felt freeing.
I wandered into Jason’s old office, standing in the middle of the room, taking it all in.
His things were nearly gone—his books, his framed photos of Bebe and James, even his golf clubs.
The chapter of our marriage was coming to an end, but surprisingly, it didn’t feel like a loss.
It felt like closure. The house was mine now.
Jason had wanted the kids to have a steady home base, and truthfully so did I.
We were thriving better as co-parents than we ever had as a couple. The kids had adjusted well to their new routines, and Jason and I were settling into a new dynamic, one that, strangely, made more sense than our marriage ever did.
I decided then and there: this office would be mine. My creative space.
The sadness of what was ending mixed with the excitement of what was beginning. It wasn’t just about reclaiming a room, it was about reclaiming myself.
Later that night, I sank into a warm bath. My thoughts swirled with paint colors, wallpapers, and fabric swatches; the City Center project felt like something I was meant to do. I felt truly alive, like I was stepping into a version of myself I hadn’t seen in a long time.
And along with this major project, my new neighborhood friend Lauren asked me to design her new home, and I couldn’t wait to dive into that project, too. It felt like life was finally falling into place, and the best part? I was doing it on my own.
Well, not entirely alone. James and Bebe were still my world, my constant companions. Bebe was growing more independent, and James, forever my little guy, still clung to me in the sweetest ways.
But for once, I wasn’t defined by anyone else, not Jason, not Will, not even my kids. My life was full, and I had built it.
Of course, there were still moments when my heart ached for Will.
I couldn’t deny that he’d played a part in this new chapter, at least indirectly pushing me toward it, but I couldn’t dwell on that.
Whether he had given Lori my name or not, by designing his home he had awakened something in me, a spark, a sense of possibility.
After my bath, I dried off, pulled on my robe, and walked into the bedroom. I sat on the edge of my bed, staring at my phone.
My finger hovered over Will’s name in my contacts. For a moment, I hesitated, but then, slowly and deliberately, I tapped Delete Contact.
It was time to close that door.
I walked into the office that evening, now empty and waiting to be transformed. Jason’s old desk sat in the corner, a blank slate, waiting for its next purpose. I sat down, already envisioning how I’d fill this space with my sketches, fabric samples, and plans for the future.
As I opened my laptop, a notification pinged—an email from Lori.
I clicked it open, my heart quickening as I read her words:
Subject: Next Steps - Restaurant Designs
Bring your A-game. I have big plans for you.
A smile spread across my face.
I took a deep breath, glancing out the window at the sunset over the hills. The sky was streaked with gold and soft pink, a quiet kind of magic unfolding in front of me.
Somewhere between endings and beginnings, I let go of what wasn’t ready to stay, and for once, I didn’t try to chase it. I chose me.