23. Gigi
CHAPTER 23
Gigi
I bite my bottom lip as I look at myself in the mirror. This is my third outfit change. He’s going to be here any minute now.
When Luke and I had the talk a few days ago, I didn’t expect the night to end with him asking me out on a date. Luke was right; aside from Zach’s birthday party that I couldn’t miss, I had been avoiding places and events that I knew he would be at. Although Luke confessed to me that he didn’t really take things further with girls he messed around with in high school because he just didn’t have the capacity, their stories match the image of Luke I had in my head for so long—the aloof and douchey one. What we did was already confusing. I didn’t want to hurt my feelings and make the situation murkier, so I took the easy way out.
I should have known. Asshole or no asshole, nothing comes easy when it comes to Lucas Palmer.
Luke
I’m outside.
Brushing my hair to the side, I sigh. Think of happy thoughts, Gigi. Picture the ocean. Picture the park… I can’t bring myself to finish my words of affirmation, because, well, how can I? How can I when tonight feels like the ultimate betrayal to Andrew? Luke was his best friend. For heaven’s sake, Luke was his cousin . I argue with myself for a few seconds that second cousin is not really that bad, but then I remember who Luke is. My stepbrother. I am so fucked .
I study psychology, but what I really need is a therapist. Not a way to become one. Me chucking a few condoms in my bag right now just for good measure really drives the point home.
After excusing everything in my head—using the fact that Luke and I have never actually lived under one roof, aren’t blood-related, and before college, have only met a handful of times—I shake away all the legitimate reasons that I should cancel and stride my way down the hall.
Luke’s truck is sitting in the parking lot with the interior light turned on, giving me a glimpse of him on his phone. “Hey,” he says when I open the passenger door. “You’re here.”
“You asked me out?”
He backs out of the parking space. Once we’re on the road, Luke finally speaks, his gaze focused on the road. “For a second there, I thought you were going to bail on me.”
For a second there, I thought the same. “Are you disappointed I showed up?”
He shoots me a lazy smile that turns my stomach into knots. “Nah,” he says, shaking his head. “I’m glad you did.”
“Where are we going?”
“You’ll see,” is all he says. The glint in his eyes is making my fingers tingle. This is just one date. I’m getting ahead of myself, but would we even work in real life without the complications? I’m a people person and Luke, well, he’s Luke. College seems to be loosening him up a bit, but he’s still the same guy on the inside. Stoic and perpetually nonchalant.
The rest of the drive goes exactly like I imagined it would—with Luke not giving me any details as to where we’re heading and me probing every chance I get. Half an hour goes by when Luke finally parallel parks on a street in a town I haven’t been to.
“You can stop with the questions now, Gi,” he says, pulling the brakes. “We’re here.”
I almost squeal our ears off when I see the neon sign on my right. Grandma’s Cat Café. “How did you know?” I turn my head to him, my hand already about to pry open the car door.
Luke just shrugs. “It’s not hard to figure you out. Do you know how often you post on your socials about wanting a cat?” I blush at the thought of Luke seeing my rants online. He checks out my profile. “Well what are we waiting for? We didn’t drive all the way here just to sit in the car, did we?” he asks, bringing me out of my own head.
After ordering, I immediately play with Mr. Whiskers and Teddy, the two black cats that are circling our small table in the corner.
“He’s so cute.” I make kissy faces while cuddling Teddy, cradling him like a baby.
Luke pets Mr. Whiskers, who jumped on his lap, his big hand stroking the fur on the cat’s back. “Your mom never allowed you to have a pet, huh?”
“Nope. She’s allergic. Besides, we weren’t allowed to have pets in our building back in New York.” This is why I love small towns more. People have their own places, more freedom. I hadn’t even seen big backyards until I moved to Kinsdale Springs. My friends in New York who live in houses all live in dense areas. “What about you? Why did you guys never have a pet?”
“Too much work. Becca wanted to get a dog, but realistically, who would have taken care of the dog?”
I was about to say you could help her when I realize how wrong that would be. I let go of Teddy to tap my nails on the table when the gears in my brain start turning. It’s stupid, but it never occurred to me how much Luke must have done for his family growing up. When he said he didn’t have the capacity to be in relationships during high school, I thought it was because he was too busy studying, or it was because of his grief. But his mom is gone, and his dad is a long-distance tour bus driver. He must have been the primary caretaker of Becca before we moved. Of course he didn’t have time to go to prom and date around.
“Why do you never visit Becca?” I ask, changing the atmosphere composition from light to heavy. Gigi, you should have just kept your mouth shut.
To my surprise, Luke cocks an eyebrow as he sips on his lemonade through the straw. His expression is cool as a cucumber as he continues petting Mr. Whiskers, like my question doesn’t bother him. “Who says I don’t?”
“I would know? I lived with her for almost two years?”
“But you don’t go to church with her,” he says in an amused tone. He’s not wrong. Andrew’s mom always picks Becca up every Sunday to go with her in their town. On the odd occasion that I did go to church, I go to the Catholic one with Mom. Otherwise, I’m more of an Easter and Christmas kind of believer.
“So what? You drive there every Sunday? I find it hard to believe that you’re that religious.”
“I’m not,” he answers. “I just go there to see my sister. Once a month when I can.” When he continues, the tone of his voice changes. “And Andrew’s parents.”
Guilt bubbles up inside me, but not in the way I have been anticipating. Andrew used to skip church when we were together, and it annoyed the hell out of his parents. In the beginning, it was because we wanted to spend all our free time together, which was hard to do with my cheer practice and his basketball training unless it was on the weekends. Then, he just didn’t go for the sake of not going. In hindsight, those were his last moments I stole away from his family. From Luke .