54. nick #2
“No, no, no.” Tallulah burst into laughter, brushing aside Rat to bring the kitten out of the box, cuddling it in the crook of her neck. The kids were so happy to pet the kitten too. They freaked when I’d told them about Mom’s special gift, as I knew they would.
The kitten meowed nonstop, while Rat narrowed her milky eyes from the other side of the bed.
“You get to name this one,” I promised. “All for you.”
“Aw, that’s so sweet—”
“Name him Zookeeper,” Harlow insisted.
“We’re not naming him Zookeeper,” I stopped her.
“Name him Zookeeper, we can call him Zoo—”
“Zookeeper’s a good name,” Zach agreed.
I could see Tallulah waffling under the pressure and I covered her ears, taking her face in my hands.
“Don’t listen to them,” I told her, loud enough to speak over my kids.
I made sure to enunciate my words. “Name the cat whatever you want. The kids already dictate our sleep schedules. Don’t let them pick the cat’s name. ”
My wife gave me an apologetic smile. “Zookeeper is a pretty good name—”
I groaned and the kids cheered. I pointed at both of them. “Next time I get your mom a pet, I’ll lock the door. We’ll do it privately. No outside influence.”
Tallulah kissed the kitten, snuggling him close. “What a perfect Mother’s Day.” She tapped her chin, her words taking a musical lilt, the same one she used to grab our kids’ attention. “Do you know what I’d love to do today?”
Harlow crawled in her lap too, shoving at Zach. “What?”
“I would love to go to the zoo,” Tallulah said joyfully.
I snorted. “What?”
The kids were immediately enraptured, staring at my wife with open mouths.
“And then…” Tallulah placed the kitten on the blankets. “I would love to go to the trampoline park!”
Harlow was overjoyed. “You want to go to the jump park?”
“Do you like the jump park?”
“I love the jump park!” she exclaimed, like she couldn’t believe her mother forgot. “I—I love the jump park! I love it!”
I shot Tallulah a look of disbelief. When did Mother’s Day turn into Kids’ Day? She ignored me, nodding along to the kids’ growing excitement for the busy day we had planned apparently.
“I bet Grandma Kendra and Grandpa Jacoby would love to watch the cats while we celebrate on our special day! And then…sleepover at Grandma’s?” Tallulah clapped her hands, motioning towards the door. “If you want to come with, you better get dressed!”
The kids raced away from the bedroom, and I slid into bed with her. “Good morning. When did your day become their day?”
“Good morning, Daddy,” she purred, kissing my hair. “Long morning?”
“You have no idea. I took them to the lake. It was freezing outside.”
“Aww, thank you for letting me sleep in.”
“Seriously, why the trampoline park? You hate how annoying those parents are, and last time we went, you called it Germ City.”
“True, but zoo plus Germ City will tucker the kids out.”
“But they’re going to your parents.”
She took a bite of bacon. “And if they’re tired, and go to sleep on time, they won’t call us to pick them up.”
Oh. A grin crossed my face. “You’re a fucking genius.”
“All part of the plan, baby.”
I grabbed her orange juice, taking a swig. “You’re so smart, it’s so sexy.” I winked. “We’re going to make some sweet, sweet lovin’ tonight.”
Tallulah nodded. “I want vibrating anal beads and then somnophilia.”
I choked on my next drink of juice. It splashed down my hoodie as the kids leaped back inside. Harlow burst into laughter, laughing so hard she rocked on her fuzzy socks, pointing at me. “Daddy, you spit up juice like a baby!”
“Yeah.” I coughed, getting out of bed, pulling my hoodie over my head. “Yep, I did.”
“Daddy, be careful,” Tallulah cooed, smirking at me. “Mommy has plans for you tonight.”
I flushed, tossing my hoodie in the laundry. “That’s on me. Dad should’ve learned a long time ago not to drink anything when Mom’s talking.”
Zach frowned. “Why?”
“Because…it’s so important, I might miss it.”
While Tallulah took a shower, I got the kids and their overnight bags ready for their grandparents’ house.
There were photos on the dresser that I stalled beside.
Pictures of my kids at my hockey games, wearing the gold and black beanies.
Kendra, Jacoby, and me taking the kids out on the lake, Tallulah behind the camera.
Then there were all of us on a hike in Brazil with my mom.
Her and Tallulah were hugging tight, holding Zach, and Jacoby and Kendra had their arms around me while Harlow was asleep in a carrier on my back.
I never imagined life could be so beautiful until I created one with my wife.
I smiled, grabbing my kids’ backpacks and setting them by the door. “Zoo time!”
My dad senses tingled. Something was wrong. I froze, trying to pinpoint what it was. Was something burning? Did someone break something? Or…?
Sniffling and tears erupted from Harlow’s room.
“Rolow?” I called, walking down the hallway. It was her special baby name, the one she’d mostly grown out of, beyond the times she overwhelmed herself with tears. “Rolow? Baby?”
Harlow walked out, holding Rat tight in her arms.
Tears streaked down my daughter’s face and I had to do everything I could not to burst into laughter. She’d dressed Rat in the cat’s bright yellow bumblebee costume, complete with antennas that smacked Rat in the face with every step that Harlow took.
Don’t laugh, don’t laugh, don’t laugh.
“Daddy,” Harlow bawled. “Rat is sad, sad because of Zookeeper, she wants to be the baby, she doesn’t want us to stop loving her—”
Rat didn’t look sad at all, she looked pissed off. But, like the great cat she was, she’d begrudgingly accepted it, just like she begrudgingly accepted all of my kids’ activities that involved yanking her around places, or putting her in a baby stroller, or taking her out to the tent to camp with.
“Rolow,” I said gently, getting down on my haunches. “Let’s take the costume off her—”
“She wants to be the baby—”
With a sigh, I picked up my daughter, keeping her on one arm while I gently slipped the costume off of Rat. Harlow had her mother’s soft dark eyes, thick eyelashes, and her wobbling lower lip. I pressed my forehead to hers and kept my voice quiet.
“I know you’re worried about Rat—”
“I—I don’t want her to run away and find a new family—”
“Rolow?” I murmured. “Rat loves you with all her heart. She knows you love her.”
Rat nestled into my neck and purred, a smoker’s cough of a purr, but still a purr. Harlow sniffled and reached over, patting her bald patches.
“Nobody’s going unloved, okay?” I said.
Zach wandered in, his backpack on. “Harlow, why are you crying? Why are you always crying?”
“You cried from the age of two to three, bud,” I told him. “Nonstop. It never stopped. Not once”
He groaned, and stood underneath us, gazing up expectantly. “Don’t I get a hug?”
I grinned, shifting Rat until I could comfortably hold Harlow and Rat on the same arm and reached down to scoop up Zach. I held the three of them close, hugging them as tight as I could. “Of course you get a hug.”
“Are we doing a group hug?” Tallulah teased, coming out of the bedroom. I watched as my wife came closer. She was so beautiful, and kind, and lovely. I couldn’t have asked for a better partner. Someone who I’d spent a lifetime with.
Rat grumbled under her breath, pressing against me to avoid the nonstop meowing of the boy kitten in Tallulah’s arms when Tallulah hugged us too.
“Aw, it’s okay,” Tallulah soothed, petting Rat’s head.
“Nothing to worry about,” I murmured and bent down to give Tallulah a kiss before opening the door for her. “Our family’s just getting a little bigger.”
[Thank you so much for reading The Wrong Playbook!!! ]