Chapter 27
CHARLOTTE
It’s my birthday, and for the last few years, I kept it low-key as the team usually demanded my attention. As luck has it, Brandon is at a late training and then a team meeting, so being a Friday night, I asked my besties over.
Cassie cracks open a bottle of champagne, but I wave my hand over a glass. “No thanks.”
My friends stare at me as though I have two heads.
Cassie’s eyes widen. “But it’s your birthday, and we came to celebrate with you,” she says incredulously.
“Where is my friend, and what have you done with her?” Violet teases.
“Funny. I’m in a happier place and… I don’t feel the need to drink.” For years, I was using booze to dull my senses, too afraid to feel pain.
Bella stares at me for a moment. “So this is why I need a good fuck. It’s transforming.”
“I wouldn’t say that, but…” I grin and hold up my glass of water, “… cheers to a good fuck.”
“Stop it.” Cassie moans. “I’m jealous because it’s always better if you have feelings for the other person.
While I love a good fuck, it’s not all it’s cracked up to be when they’re using you as a gym session.
Some nights, I’ve been manipulated into positions I never thought possible, and while I came, I kept thinking, hurry up already.
With his hot breath on my back, his panting is like the dying yards of a sprint only it felt like a marathon.
” She grimaces as though remembering exactly that.
“There was this one guy, I thought, great, now let’s get some sleep, then he flipped me on my back, sat on the bed, and pulled me over his spread legs.
I thought, right, this will be interesting.
He won’t get the momentum, but he bumped around on the mattress like we were on a bouncy castle. ”
I burst out laughing. “Oh God, I just had a visual. Did you, errr… come?”
“Not a chance. I thought I was going to bounce right off the bed, and if I landed on my hands, the fucker would have banged me in a handstand.”
“Why didn’t you tell us about him?”
“There are plenty like him. I felt nothing. While some men are great, others make you feel like a piece of fitness equipment.”
“Some days, I’d like to be a piece of equipment,” Bella muses.
“If you had feelings for him, maybe. But these guys just talk about themselves. Look in the mirror at their muscles while they’re fucking me.”
“Oh, I don’t have mirrors,” Violet says quickly. “Benjamin would definitely admire himself, and I want all the attention on me. Then again, it could be very erotic.”
Cassie sighs. “The worst is doggie. Their breathing gets ragged, watching themselves fuck like a horse.”
“Well, if they have a horse’s dick…” Violet grins.
Cassie frowns at her. “It’s not the point.”
“I get it.” I have had some partners that were good in bed, but none come close to how BJ makes me feel. Even his kiss feels better on my skin.”
Cassie’s eyes widen. “Exactly. It’s the emotion attached to it.”
“Not all of us want the emotion with sex,” Bella states.
We turn to Bella. “But I thought—”
She shakes her head. “He ghosted me. I’m done giving my heart to men. I just need sex. And if I’m being honest, the best sex I had was with another woman. She understood what I needed more than any damn man has.”
I know who Bella is referring to. “But you also had feelings for her. I think that’s the point Cassie is making.”
Bella stares at me. “And what good did it do?”
“Sometimes, ladies, our vibrator is a woman’s best friend.”
Cassie raises her glass. “Cheers to that.”
“Now that we have agreed on something, what movie are we watching?”
“Horror. Not romance.” Bella isn’t herself.
“Okay.” I scroll the list on the screen. I intend to talk to my friend alone because it’s not like Bella to be negative. “Before we start the movie, we should make a list.” I jump up to get paper and pens.
“I love lists,” Cassie says eagerly.
“What sort of list?” Bella shouts to my back.
“A hate list. I do this often. When something is bothering me, I write it on a list. Or, make ten dot points instead.”
“Give me an example?” Cassie asks.
“Once, I wrote ‘Brandon Johns’ ten times, then burned it. It feels good as you’re thinking about what is destroying your soul, and then you watch it burn, or you can shred the paper. Either way, you imagine abolishing it from your life.”
My friends stare at me.
Cassie gapes at me. “You imagined ending BJ?”
“Not ending him,” I defend quickly. “I wanted to hurt him like he did to me. I wanted to rid myself of the pain.”
Violet clicks her tongue. “It’s a weird form of manifesting.”
Bella takes a piece of paper and a pen from me. “Did you ever believe you would end up together? Be as happy as you are now?”
I hand paper and pens to Violet and Cassie and then sit beside Bella.
“Only in my dreams when I didn’t have control of my thoughts.
It was sexual dreams that woke me, as though my conscious and dream state battled out who would win, and I’d wake in a sweaty, hot mess.
Then, I’d be hit with confusion as waves of anger and sadness rolled over me.
I wanted the torture of still wanting him to stop, so the only way to get through it was to hate him every second I was awake.
” Cassie is staring at me. “End what made him happy. I wanted him to be miserable, and basketball was the most important thing in BJ’s life, so I wanted him to fail on the court. ”
“Definitely not manifesting,” Violet mutters. “Secretly, you’re a witch, and you’re teaching us how to write a spell.”
I laugh at Violet. “It must have worked because look at us now.”
Cassie isn’t looking at me as she writes the number one at the top of the page. “Did he fail?”
“No. He went on to do great things. Even made the Australian Olympic team.”
Bella exhales loudly and lays her pen down. “So the list doesn’t work.”
“It does. Deep down, I knew I was truly happy with him, so it brought us together.” I smile, but the truth is that the lists only helped with my mindset at the time.
Violet taps her pen on the paper. “So you were manifesting but doing it wrong.”
I shrug. “Write whatever you want, Vi.”
Bella begins writing. “I’m making a list of my desires rather than dwelling on the negative parts of my life.”
“That works too. But we destroy the lists as though we are sending it to the universe to make judgment.” I’m in a happier place, and for the first time, I also make a wish list.
My cell buzzes with a message.
The meeting finished early. Can I come over and give you your birthday present?
I grin at the screen.
My friends are still here.
Can I join you?
I’ll call you when they leave. They will ask too many questions.
I don’t care. I’ve missed you, and I never want to spend a day away from you again.
He knows how to win my heart.
You’re a baller, BJ.
As much as I want it to be true, he is on the road a lot, and it’s all part of the game. But I can live with that, knowing he’ll be coming home to me.
I start writing.
In ten years from now, be as happy as I am today.
I’m alone and in bed by the time Brandon arrives.
“Happy birthday, Lottie,” he says as he strips quickly, and goose bumps scatter all over me. He has the best body, muscled in all the right places. My eyes lower to my favorite muscle. “Did you have a good night?”
“Hmm…” I focus. “Conversations with my girls are always… interesting.”
“When do I get to meet them?” He pulls back the sheets and jumps under the covers beside me. I’m already naked and ready, his eyes rounding with approval.
The idle chatter disappears the moment his lips are on mine. Lust pumps through every inch of me, and I open my legs, not wanting to wait any further. “What is my present?” I murmur against his lips.
Brandon lifts his head, his face screwed up with worry. “You told me not to get you anything?”
I giggle at his reaction. “Not a gift. Now?” My hand strokes around the hard length of him. “I only want you.”
“And you have me.” He dips his head under the sheet and parts my pussy lips with his fingers.
He licks deep and slow. I shudder with the arousal.
Pressing a hand to my pelvis, he holds me still as he licks deeper, nibbles at my clit, and then sucks firmer.
Fingers push inside of me and work their magic while his mouth remains strong on my clit.
I buck, unable to contain the pleasure building between my legs.
He doesn’t break his pace, flicking and sucking while his fingers pump me into a beautiful euphoria, and I come loudly, smacking the linen beside me as I do.
“BJ,” rolls off my lips in a delicious breath.
His tongue slides along the length of my abdomen toward the middle of my chest, directly to my mouth.
He kisses me deep, the salty taste of my orgasm on his lips.
He lifts my thigh, then reaches down and guides himself into me.
I shudder with need with the first entry, deep and wonderful as he stretches me.
He pulls out and slowly slides in while holding me close, loving me.
Loving me.
Another orgasm builds as I know what tonight means.
I come again and again with Brandon’s slow worship of my body. Every touch, every kiss takes us to heaven together. I can’t remember a birthday when I was loved so deeply, and I don’t want tonight to end.
It’s already two in the morning, and I’m in a dreamy state where exhaustion is to blame for my loose lips.
“Please come to lunch tomorrow at my parents.” It’s dark, yet I feel him stiffen beside me.
Brandon looks at his watch. “Technically, it’s today.”
“Then today.” I’m at the point I don’t want to wait. My hand slides under the sheet and along his taut abs, but he grabs hold, stilling my exploration.
“While I would do anything for you, we have to consider if the rest of your family is ready for this.”
“By everyone, you’re referring to Byron.”