39. Chapter Thirty-Nine
Chapter Thirty-Nine
Elowen Briar
Wine Drunk
Beau dropped me off back at home when he went to grab some dinner.
He’s already provided enough for me today, but my idea of enough and his idea are very different.
I pick up my phone to call Imani and it goes straight to voicemail.
Not that I have the emotional or mental capacity to explain what happened today.
Worse, she would encourage me to take it to the police.
I just hope I never see that guy again. I trust that Beau will keep me safe.
I trust that he can protect me. He proved that by a landslide today.
I try Imani’s cell again, but to no avail she doesn’t answer. She no doubt is covered in paperwork or cussing out one of her coworkers over a listing they took on from underneath her.
One new message:
From: IMANI ????????:
Sorry, babe. On a work call. You okay?
I decide to ignore the text message. I wanted to talk, but not enough to spill my guts about my day. I pour a glass of wine and slowly drag my feet across the ground to Genie’s water bowl. He proudly stands next to the new mat beneath it, pawing at it.
Mother, I crave attention and H20.
I fill his bowl and sit down on the couch with my glass.
My hands are aching for the one hundredth time today, then turning to that same numb sensation.
That’s going to be a problem. Nothing a little alcohol can’t fix.
I sit my glass down on a coaster on the coffee table, propping my feet up on the ottoman in front of me.
Genie bustles under the space below my arm, marking his territory on the couch.
I am nothing but something to cuddle and the hand that fills his bowls, but I love him.
Resting my head on his back, I nuzzle up to him, small, soft cries escaping me.
In the release of my tears, I find sleep.
A knock at the door jostles me awake. Genie is nowhere to be seen. I uncover and head towards the door, wiping the sleep from my eyes. It’s getting dark outside now. The doorknob is freezing cold as my palm clasps around it.
I hear through the door, “It’s me, Beau.” I smile and straighten my outfit before opening it.
“Sorry, I fell asleep.” I apologize. He stands on the porch with his bright green eyes beaming at me.
His hair looks freshly washed, even fresher than earlier.
The scent of whiskey long gone from him.
He holds a white grocery bag seemingly full of take-out, a dozen white roses, and an iced matcha in his arms. I should’ve tossed that glass of wine before he got back.
His eyes flicker to the ground and back up at me.
At that moment of time, I realize I’m still blocking the door.
“Oh my god, what’s wrong with me? Come in. I’m sorry.”
He rakes his black boots on the welcome mat before he slips into the door.
“Stop apologizing.” He hands the flowers to me and walks straight to the dining room table to set down the dinner and drink he picked up.
I take the flowers to a vase in the living room and replace my self-bought bouquet from last week with them.
“The matcha is unnecessary. You’ve done plenty for me.” Before I can continue, he hurries behind me. Beau turns me around and looks down at me.
“I just wanted to make your night better, mi tesoro.” He smiles at me through his eyes.
“You succeeded.” A cold chill runs down my spine.
I don’t want to be touched, but I do at the same time.
I think Beau recognizes that. His eyes flick from my mouth back to my eyes in an endless rotation.
You can kiss me. Just kiss me, Beau. I trust you.
He brushes his hand along my jaw, letting his thumb caress my face.
“Time for you to eat and rest.” Then, he backs away. I can see lust flicker within him for a moment, but it quickly passes. I scared him away.
We each enjoy a roll of sushi. Mine being washed down with a perfectly curated iced matcha.
He’s perfect in every way. Always tending to my every need.
I become increasingly paranoid the darker it gets outside.
I tell Beau I’m going to the restroom, but end up double checking all of the windows on the opposite side of the house while out of view.
Genie rests on my bed while Beau and I sit in the living room.
Beau seems laid-back. Not a worry in the world.
We talk for hours, allowing the movie I turned on to create background noise.
Until, he finally initiates another bout of touch.
I sit in my usual spot on the couch. Genie doesn’t bother coming to join our party, surprisingly enough.
Beau slowly inches toward me as we sit on the couch.
When our knees finally touch, he looks into my eyes, “Is this okay?”
“I mean, it’s not quite cuddling, but it’ll do,” I chuckle.
“Is that what we are supposed to be doing?” His eyes widen as he speaks.
“Unless that goes against your rules of courting?” I sneer at him.
Beau throws his head back and places his hand on his forehead, letting out a sigh.
Then, taking that same hand slides it behind me, pulling me closer.
“Smooth, Beau. I can tell you’ve done that a few too many times.
” He pulls a few inches back with a disappointed look on his face.
“I…I’m sorry. I actually haven’t ever…cuddled before.” Oh. OH. He’s serious.
I pull him back over, letting my body relax into his.
I wouldn’t wish to be anywhere else in this universe than in his presence.
When I start to doze off while watching the TV, he whispers to me, “Do you want me to run you a bath before I go? Or will you fall asleep in there?” He lets out a low chuckle.
I shake my head no and smile up at him. As he stands, he looks around and rubs the back of his neck.
“Is there anything else I can do for you?” He seems lost. Do I ask him to stay?
Fuck, we’ve haven’t even kissed and I’m tempted to ask him to stay the night with me.
More so because I’d feel safer. I know it’ll take time before we work back up to anything more intimate. IF. If that’s still a possibility.
Beau Drewitt is the ideal man, but he’s also not great at signals.
I didn’t say he needed to leave yet, but maybe me dozing off was taken as a sign.
Genie senses stirring in the living room and comes to greet Beau.
He pats Genie on the head and lets him sniff around him.
Right when I think I’ll be okay being left alone, tears begin to well in my eyes.
“No, I think I’m okay. Let me know when you make it home? To the bookstore?”
“Ah, so you know. Yeah, I do have a loft upstairs. As long as you’ll be okay, yeah, I’ll go.
I’ll call the second I lock the door behind me.
” Beau leans down and kisses Genie on the forehead then follows suit by giving me one as well.
He has such a good heart. I don’t know what we are, but if I have the chance to be with him forever, I’ll happily take the opportunity.
By the time Beau makes it home, I am a half-bottle of wine deep.
The third large glass I had poured is half-gone, warm in my hand as I sprawl across the couch.
My cheeks flush and my head spins just enough to make my thoughts reckless.
Imani would be both proud and scared. She never called back earlier, just that one text.
I know she’s busy, but I miss her and wish that her job didn’t consume her whole life.
I have yet to inform her how the lunch date went or the gift or my sexual assault or how Beau treated me to dinner and a bouquet.
That is a conversation for sober Elowen.
I can tell that Beau is tired by the way he speaks to me on the phone.
He kept his promise. My phone rings about thirty minutes after he left.
His voice is low and smooth, causing my heart to trip over itself.
“Hey. I’m home. You okay?” Literal somersaults.
His voice is already dampening the in-between of my thighs.
“You are always so nice to me,” I say, swirling the rim of my glass with my fingertip, “Thanks for taking care of me today.”
There’s a pause, long enough that I imagine his jaw tightening on the other end.
Finally, his voice comes, certain. “I see you’ve had a few drinks.
Well…You’re too precious to let yourself wonder about whether or not you deserve the bare minimum anymore.
I quite enjoy taking care of you. Especially after the day you had. ”
Heat rises in my cheeks, deeper than the wine. I press my glass against them, but it does nothing to cool me. “You always say things like that,” I whisper, “Not sure if I can believe you. Sounds too good to be true.”
“I’m just being honest. Let me.” He says with sorrow in his tone.
“Let you what?”
“Take care of you. Until you don’t want me to anymore.
” Beau admits, allowing tension to build on the line.
I shift against the cushions, heart hammering.
Boldness creeps in, the kind I kept pushing down earlier when I knew he wouldn’t kiss me.
I could tell he was worried about crossing a line.
Now, three glasses deep and a man like Beau on the other end of the line, my mind is all on him. Not another concern in the world.
“Well, Beau Drewitt! What are you up to now?” I giggle into the phone. Genie is unimpressed with my alcohol intake, but not surprised either. My good boy has already retreated to his place in our bed.
“I am… fixing a drink before heading to my room,” he says without hesitation.
The words embolden me further. “You could’ve stayed here, you know?”
The silence stretches, thick with possibility.
I could almost feel him considering it, and can imagine his smirk.
When he finally speaks, his voice is laced with a smooth velvet, dark, and deliberate tone.
“As much as I love the thought of… keeping you company through the night, you had a very rough day.” His tone softens, but his growl intensifies giving in to my idea.
Like a dangerous sweetness that makes my pulse race.
“Can you be a good girl until I can prove that I am worthy of you? I’m sure you can manage your pleasures tonight, at least.”
My breath catches. I guess he’s right in a way. Our first intimate moments should probably be on a day where my brain isn’t covered in guilt. ”My pleasures?” I eye my bedroom door as I picture immediately diving for the drawer with my handy tools.
“Yes. I can’t control what you do in your home. Only when you’re with me. Who am I to tell you not to spread your pretty legs and relax yourself? After all, you’ve had a long day and I am sure your mind could use some extra curricular stimulation.”
“Oh.” My voice comes out softer than I intend, edged with need and something unfamiliar.
I’m not used to being handled gently. I’m not used to a man telling me no for my own sake.
And it makes me want him even more. The words keep slipping out before I can stop them.
“Maybe a little too much alcohol. I’m sorry.
” I laugh nervously and immediately regret it.
“I know that you’re trying to take things slow.
I guess I just have a low tolerance for patience when it comes to you. I don’t want you going anywhere on me.”
“The thought has never crossed my mind. I’m not hanging up either,” he says. “Not until you fall asleep with my voice still in your ear. Unless, you’d prefer to call me back after your escapade, darling.”
The thought makes me blush so hard I cover my face with my free hand, giggling like I’m sixteen again. “You’re ruining me, Beau Drewitt.”
“Mission accomplished, sounds like,” he says, calm as ever.
I squirm on the couch, tugging the blanket over myself as if it can hide the way my body reacts to him. I want to tease him, to draw him out further, but every attempt at playfulness turns into clumsy honesty instead. “I can’t stop thinking about you.”
There is silence, but it’s heavy with everything unsaid.
Finally, he speaks again, his tone firm but tender.
“I’ll let you decide if you want to keep me around after you fully know me.
Sleep, Elowen. Dream of me. Tomorrow, when your head is clear, I’ll remind you why I told you no tonight.
” I gather my things, double-check the locks, and refill Genie’s water bowl.
Once all the lights are off, I scurry to my bedroom to rejoin my phone and puppy.
Bundling under the covers without Beau beside me is the worst possible way to end today.
Closing my eyes, I pull the phone closer, my chest rising and falling unevenly. “Goodnight, Beau.”
“Goodnight, mi tesoro.” A soft sense of peace washes over me as I begin to finally rest after the day I’ve had.
The line stays open long after we whisper goodnight. Briefly in between drifting off I can hear him talking in his sleep, but knowing he didn’t hang up after all will make my sleep all that much better.