84. Chapter Eighty-Four
Chapter Eighty-Four
Beau Drewitt
Islide into the driver’s seat and lock the doors that surround us in my vehicle. Kai insists on always riding with the seat warmers at this time of year. I click the button to turn them on and Kai nods in approval. The note tucked into my pocket digs at me so I pull it out to unravel it.
Beau,
I don’t know how much of this will make sense when you read it.
I am running out of time and my thoughts are not entirely my own anymore, so if this spirals it’s because she’s pressing against me even as I write.
I know you saw me chained up in my own head.
Empusa is in my body. She had me turned and then has used my body to wreck havoc ever since.
I’m as old as you are. We were changed a week apart.
In the lore they call her a demon, a shape stealer, a seducer, a devourer of men and will.
That part is true, but what they don’t say is how quietly she settles in.
How she lets you believe you’re still choosing.
How she uses your love, your fear, your anger, and bends them until they become tools.
She is inside me. She does her bidding through my hands, my mouth, my blood. I’m still here, but I’m losing ground.
She has taken over my life piece by piece.
My body is a door she no longer knocks on.
Sometimes I watch myself speak and I can’t stop the words.
Sometimes I feel her pleasure when I should feel horror.
I never wanted to be what I am becoming, and I never wanted to hurt you or anyone else.
I never wanted any of this to be built on coercion and blood and ownership.
I swear that to you. I never wanted it to be like this.
I wanted you on the battlefield during the Revolutionary and she used that against me.
I need help separating from her before there is nothing left of me to save. Imani can help. Empusa is afraid of her and what potential she carries. She is closer to her power than she knows and she will come into it soon, whether she wants to or not. Kai will help her see that.
Empusa fears that kind of awakening. She fears witnesses.
She fears bonds that are chosen freely. That is why she’s been tightening her grip.
That is why I had to act now. I broke through after you wrecked her with insults and she gave way to allow me back in.
I killed the council, but I also am the reason that Benny went after Elowen.
I can’t tell what she’s planning anymore. She has shut me out of my own brain.
I
am
no
longer
in
control.
Beau, I fell for you hard enough to let something monstrous inside me because it promised I would never be alone again. I was wrong. I am more alone now than I have ever been.
Empusa lured me into the woods while working as a nurse at your base. She told me that she could help me be more noticeable. You had never noticed me before and I was watching you day in and day out. She also said there was a way to rejoin my family. She’s a liar. She gets off on deceiving.
I’m so sorry about everything. Please believe me when I say I never wanted to hurt Elowen.
I never wanted to become the thing she should be protected from.
Empusa twists that love into possession and rage, and when she is in control it feels like I’m drowning in myself.
If I lose this fight, she will use me to burn everything you care about.
I am asking you for help knowing full well I do not deserve it.
I am asking because you are still you, and while I’ve watched as Empusa held me hostage inside my own body, I’ve seen your heart.
I know you don’t know me, but please help me.
If there is a way out, if there is a ritual or a severing or a choice that can be made before she finishes hollowing me out, I need you to help me find it. This may be the last time I can ask.
I never wanted it to be like this.
Kalevala
“We have to tell the girls right? And powers? The fuck is she talking about? Imani has powers?” Kai questions as he nears the edge of hyperventilating.
“Don’t say a word until I know more. We will circle back to the bookstore, but do not utter a fucking word, Kai.
I will cut out your tongue, if I have to.
” I lean towards him, jabbing my finger into his chest. “At least the vision of the girl makes sense now and we know this bitch’s weak spot.
Kalevala may have done us a huge favor just now.
” I have never driven so fast to the bookstore instead of Elowen’s house in my life.
The house is quiet when I step back inside, although my mind is racing over the encounter with Kalevala.
How do I keep this from Elowen? The scent of garlic and basil still linger, a reminder that Imani has been keeping Elowen grounded in a way I never can.
Laughter still clings faintly to the walls. But now it’s just us.
Elowen sits in the chair near the window, her eyes trained on the street outside.
Her hands flex slowly, testing her strength, as if every small movement reminds her that she has a body worth inhabiting.
She turns when I enter. The look in her eyes cut through me.
It is part relief, part exhaustion, part fire.
“Hi.” Her voice is soft, but it carries.
I cross the floor to her, every step steady. “Hi, mi tesoro. What’s on your mind? I won’t peek.” I promise her.
“What do we do now? I still have this feeling like something bad is coming.”
I have to lie to her. I can’t keep putting her through torment. “Whatever you desire. You’re safe and life is yours to live as you see fit.” The words taste sour in my mouth, but not all are a lie.
She tilts her head, watching me as though she wants to believe it. “Whatever I desire,” she repeats.
“Yes,” I smile with purpose this time. “Your wish, your will. I will follow it.”
For a moment she says nothing. Her eyes search mine, stripping away everything I try to keep hidden. I fear that she’s reading right through me but then her mouth curves. Not into a smile exactly, but into something warmer than the fear that had ruled her for days.
“In that case,” she smirks, “maybe a little more fun?” My breath catches, and I lower myself until I’m kneeling in front of her. My hands settle lightly on her knees.
“Fun,” I echo. Fun, I can do. Fun will keep me from spilling the past few hours to her.
I trace my fingers along her thighs as I sit in front of her.
She leans forward, her lips hovering close to mine, her fingers brushing my skin.
Her fingers find their way into my hair.
She tugs lightly, drawing me closer. The contact burns in the best way. I close my eyes and let her guide me.
“You’re certain you’re ready for more, again?” I ask, though my body already knows the answer she will give.
“Beau Drewitt, for fuck’s sake,” she says.
“Don’t make me beg. I don’t think I’ll be getting tired of orgasming any time soon.
” That breaks something in me. I think the guilt of holding things from her is trying to hold me back, but I tell myself I’m trying to protect her peace.
I surge up and press my mouth to hers. The kiss is messy, but I can’t care less.
I can drown in her kiss for the rest of my days.
Her hands tighten in my hair. My palms slide along her thighs, memorizing the proof that she’s still here with me.
She pulls back only enough to speak. “You feel like home,” she says.
The words undo me. I kiss her again, deeper this time, pouring every vow and every fear into it.
Her laugh comes between breaths, soft and flurry-like. “You seem eager,” she teases.
“I’ll never be able to get enough,” I murmur against her skin.
The chair creaks as she shifts, tugging me closer.
The world beyond the window fades until only her scent exists in my psyche.
I press kisses along her jaw, down the curve of her throat, reverent and desperate all at once.
Her presence fills the space around me. It feels like a miracle to be able to have and hold her. She gasps softly, her body arching.
“You are my forever, Elowen Briar.” I whisper, letting the words fall.
Her fingers are still in my hair. Her eyes open, wide and bright. “Then prove it,” she requests. And why would I hesitate? Why would I deny her pleasure?