87. Chapter Eighty-Seven
Chapter Eighty-Seven
Elowen Briar
Leaving On A Jet Plane - A Year Later
One year later, the cabin in the airplane hums like a quiet hive.
I press my forehead to the window and watch the wing cut a clean line through the clouds.
The sky looks like a frozen sea. White on white, layered and endless.
Beau’s hand rests on the armrest between us.
He isn’t touching me, not quite, but his presence warms the space around me.
A flight attendant moves past with a cart.
The scent of coffee drifts in a thin ribbon that makes my mouth water even though coffee does nothing for me now.
I have picked up on the habit that Beau carries with espresso.
He wants one, so for some reason, now I also want one.
I take a slow breath and try to count. One to four.
Hold. One to four. The trick still helps, even if my body has changed.
Beau glances at me, a question tucked in the corner of his mouth.
“I’m fine,” I say. “Just thinking.” He nods once, the way he does when he’s holding a secret and hopes I won’t pry.
Norway. The word sits bright in my head like a lantern.
I had said it to him in a letter that was intended as goodbye.
Now, I’m hurtling towards it with the man who refuses to let me go.
Clouds parted, revealing a blue so deep that it feels like the world is opening up to us up here.
I close my eyes and try to picture us there, walking streets with names I can’t pronounce, wrapped in layers, breath turning to silver in the air.
My emotions are a storm today. They rise fast, crash hard, and leave me blinking at nothing.
Heightened senses have gifted me with clarity, but they also leave my feelings raw.
I reach for the tiny cup on the tray and take a sip of water.
Even that tastes overly sharp, as if the plane had filtered it through frost. Beau adjusts the shade on the light above us.
I want to ask what he’s planning, want to demand it from him.
If I’m persistent enough with him, I can win the information I need.
Instead, I curl my toes in my shoes and pretend patience is my native language.
He looks calm, and that means he’s up to something.
I turn my face back to the window and let the drone of the engines steady me. The captain speaks in a smooth voice I can barely hear. All I care about is the landing. I press my palm to the cool plastic of the wall and whisper to myself that we are almost there.
I had survived my transition. I had changed into something better.
I’m still here. With him. The love of my life and hopefully soon my husband.
Even though he didn’t seem keen on the idea of the paperwork and all the mind altering he would have to do to make it legitimate.
Maybe one day. I wrap my arms around Beau’s. I’m happy either way. I just want him.