Chapter 24
DAREK
Iwoke up early as usual. But the warm, supple body pressed against me had me wanting to stay in bed for a week. Unfortunately, a very energetic young lady down the hall might have some questions about the naked woman in my bed. Questions I was not ready to answer.
Last night had proven something I suspected but hadn’t wanted to fully acknowledge. It terrified me to accept we could have a real connection that went beyond just physical attraction. Don’t get me wrong. The physical part was incredible. Mind-blowing, even. But it was more than that.
It was real. Undeniably, terrifyingly real.
And I didn’t know what to do with that.
Instead of being a grownup and waking her up, I slipped out of bed.
I went into my bathroom and showered. If she was out of my bed when I got out of the shower, that might be for the best. Did I kiss her good morning?
Would she want that? I couldn’t exactly avoid her, but I needed a minute to get my head around what was happening.
As expected, when I stepped out of the bathroom, dressed in my sweats, the bed was empty. I breathed a sigh of relief. It would give me at least another thirty minutes to think about what I would say. Coffee. Coffee would help me process all the feelings.
I started the coffeemaker and pulled out the breakfast stuff from the fridge. I cracked eggs into a bowl, whisking them harder than necessary, trying to organize my thoughts into something coherent.
The whole point of hiring someone through Faux was to make a clean break of things once I got past the custody stuff.
Real feelings got real messy. Real relationships meant navigating emotions and expectations and the potential for things to fall apart in spectacular fashion.
I had structured this arrangement specifically to avoid that.
I had gone out of my way to create a contract with clear terms that provided protection for everyone involved.
Except I had gone and caught feelings anyway.
We both had.
But maybe things didn’t have to end between us. Why couldn’t this turn into something real? We were both adults. We clearly had chemistry. We got along well. Daisie adored her. On paper, it made perfect sense to try turning this fake relationship into a real one.
The problem was Daisie.
I had been thinking about the situation all night. My big concern wasn’t whether Liza and I could make it work. It was what would happen to Daisie if we tried and failed.
I wasn’t someone who believed in love at first sight. And I was a practical man. I knew relationships didn’t always work out. It was just part of life. It didn’t mean we would hate each other. Sometimes shit happened.
But Daisie was too young and innocent to have that kind of jaded outlook on life. I hated that one day she would.
Daisie was already attached to Liza. My daughter had already cast Liza in the role of mother figure, and if things fell apart between us, Daisie would be devastated.
Most relationships didn’t work out. That was just statistics. I didn’t trust my own judgment anymore when it came to women. I was the dumbass who had thought Sasha was a good person. I actually thought we were building a life together. It had taken me years to realize she’d been pretending.
She said all the right things to get my dumbass down that aisle. But as it turned out, motherhood and domesticity weren’t what she actually wanted. She only had Daisie because I “pressured” her. She said she had been slowly dying inside while I’d been obliviously happy.
What if I was wrong about Liza too? What if this intense connection I felt was just proximity and convenience and good sex? What if she left, not because she was a bad person like Sasha, but because real life didn’t live up to the fantasy of these few weeks?
She was chasing her dreams. I knew pretty much nothing about whale migrations.
Would she have to travel? Would she chase whales around the world?
She certainly didn’t sign up for a ready-made family.
We had talked, but we hadn’t talked about our futures and her wishes.
I knew I wanted more children. But I only wanted more children with a woman I knew would be committed to a family.
And that was my hangup.
Maybe I shouldn’t date at all until Daisie was older and more equipped to understand breakups and heartache. Like when she was thirty-five.
I flipped the eggs, adding cheese and some herbs.
What if Liza was the one? What if I pushed her away out of fear and missed out on my soulmate because I was too damaged by Sasha’s betrayal to take a leap of faith ever again?
What if, in trying to protect Daisie from potential heartbreak, I was actually depriving her of a mother figure who genuinely loved her?
And depriving myself of a partner I could love with my whole heart and would love me in return.
Being single was so much less complicated. No risk of heartbreak or messy emotions. I didn’t have to be vulnerable. Trusting anyone made a guy vulnerable. It was so much easier to keep it just me and Daisie, the way it had been for three years. Safe. Predictable.
Lonely.
I plated the eggs and started on toast, my mind still churning.
The truth was, I didn’t know what the right answer was. I didn’t know if Liza and I could make this work long-term, or if we were setting ourselves up for failure. I didn’t know if trying was brave or stupid.
All I knew was that when I was with her, I felt things I hadn’t felt in years. Hope. Possibility. The sense that maybe life could be more than just getting through each day.
I heard footsteps coming downstairs. I knew those little footprints. Daisie came into the kitchen rubbing her eyes, still in her pajamas, her hair a mess from sleep.
“Morning, kiddo,” I said, kissing the top of her head. “Sleep well?”
“Uh-huh. Is Liza up yet?”
“Not yet. But she will be soon.”
“Good. I want to ask her something.”
That could be about anything from makeup to whales.
We set the table together, Daisie chattering about a dream she had involving whales and pirates and somehow also her friend Emma’s dog. I listened with half my attention, the other half still occupied with thoughts of Liza.
As if summoned by my thoughts, she appeared in the doorway. She was dressed casually in jeans and a t-shirt. Her hair was in a ponytail, her face free of makeup, and she looked soft and rumpled and absolutely beautiful.
“Morning,” she said. Our eyes met across the kitchen.
For a second, it was like we were the only two people in the world. I could see the memory of last night in her expression. And I was certain I could see the same uncertainty I was feeling reflected back at me.
Then Daisie launched herself at Liza, wrapping her arms around her waist. “Liza! Guess what? The science fair is tomorrow at school! Do you want to come see my project?”
Liza looked down at Daisie, and her whole face softened. “I would love to come see your project. What are you presenting?”
“It’s color-changing flowers!” Daisie pulled back, her hands gesturing excitedly.
“You take white flowers and put them in different vases with different food coloring in the water. The colors go up the stems and make different colors. I have red ones and blue ones and even a purple one that I made by mixing colors!”
“That sounds incredible,” Liza said, genuine enthusiasm in her voice.
Liza moved to get herself a cup of coffee. She carried it back to the table and sat down. Daisie climbed into the chair next to her, already launching into a detailed explanation of her scientific method.
Liza asked questions about the project with Daisie providing the answers. She had been working on the project for a couple of weeks. The girl was smart and I wasn’t just saying that because she was my kid. Even her teachers said she was very advanced her age.
Yes, if I could pat my own back, I would do it.
I brought the food to the table and sat down, watching them interact. Liza listened to Daisie with complete attention, asking follow-up questions that showed she wasn’t just humoring my child but was genuinely interested in the project.
“You know what would make your presentation even better?” Liza said. “If you can explain why the flower changes color in terms a first-grader could understand. Can you try?”
Daisie thought for a moment, her face scrunched in concentration. “Um… flowers drink water through their stems like we drink through straws. And if you put color in the water, the flower drinks the color too and it shows up in the petals.”
“Perfect! That’s exactly right. You’re going to be an amazing scientist, Daisie.”
My daughter glowed under the praise. And this was exactly what I was afraid of.
The way Daisie looked at Liza with such trust and affection. Liza naturally slipped into a maternal role. She encouraged and supported my daughter. The way they fit together like they’d been meant to find each other.
It was beautiful. And it was terrifying.
Because if this didn’t work out, Daisie wouldn’t just lose a girlfriend of her father’s. She’d lose someone who felt like family. Someone who understood her curiosity about the world and encouraged her to pursue science. Someone who listened like her opinions mattered.
She would lose another mother figure.
And I would be the one who let it happen.
“Daddy?” Daisie’s voice pulled me back to the present. “Are you okay? You look weird.”
“I’m fine, sweetheart. Just thinking.”
“About boats?”
“Something like that.”
Liza’s eyes met mine over Daisie’s head. I saw understanding there. She knew what I was thinking and knew what I was worried about. We were having the same internal debate, weighing the same risks.
The difference was, I had more to lose. Or at least, more that I was responsible for.
After breakfast, Daisie went to get dressed for school, leaving Liza and me alone in the kitchen.
“We need to talk,” I said quietly.
“I know.”
“Not now. After I drop Daisie at school?”
She nodded. “I’ll be ready.”
I wanted to kiss her. But Daisie could come back downstairs any second, and we were already blurring enough lines. Damn, I hoped we could figure out how to make this work.
“I am going to try and find a dress for the party,” she said. “Is there any color or style I should avoid?”
I had almost forgotten about the party. “Just think along the same lines as the last party. Let me get you the name of a boutique in town. I’ll have George take you there. If you don’t find anything, you can look online. I’ll give you a card.”
“No!”
I grinned. “No?”
“I mean, I should buy my own.”
“Do you have five grand, Liza?”
“Five grand?” she repeated.
“Yes. That’s about the price you can expect to pay for a dress.”
“Oh. Uh, no. I spent most of the five thousand Della wired me.”
“I know. Which is why you’ll need my card.”
She nodded. “Okay.”
And then I couldn’t resist. I reached out, brushing my knuckles across her cheek. She leaned against my hand.
“I can’t wait to see you in whatever you pick.”
She looked up and smiled. “I was thinking more along the lines of watching you take it off me.”
I closed my eyes. “Oh, woman. Now I’m going to have blue balls all day.”
She giggled and patted my chest. “Have a nice day, sweetie.”